So this girl from Take Back the Night gave a lil talk tonight, and it made me think. She mentioned a couple times about not blaming the victim. Yeah, I totally agree. After all, it would be retarded to put to death a person that was mauled by a bear rather than the bear itself. Of course, relocating the person has in a way been hinted towards by those that say "we are in the bears territory." But rape is never done is self defense as a mauling by a bear may be. So, my point is, it is possibly the lowest point of a society when the society starts to blame the victim over the perpetrator.
She said that 1 in 4 women will be sexually assaulted, or something like that. Maybe sexually abused was the term. In any case, that is ridiculously high ratio. For shame! But, any good scientist/researcher would ask the question: what (if anything) makes those one girls different? Other words: Why is that bitch so lucky? It is very possible that it is just luck/fate. Maybe there is no difference. Personally, I don't know. However, I am asking. (Note: I am asking, not suggesting.) I have a foreboding sense that I will end up with more girls then boys once I finally have children. Statistically, I should have at least 1 girl if I have the 3 kids I'm planning on having. Therefore, I just want to know, how can I help keep my girl(s) from being one of the unlucky three. What can we do to prevent rape...besides trying to change society, 'cause while I am trying, I doubt it will change that much.
So, what is it? What can make a difference. Can the location help? Being fat, does that help? What about the way someone dress, or their friends? What about the type of parties or the people at the parties? Does that make a difference? What or how much they drink? What about how flirtatious or shy they are? Does that make a difference? Can I help prevent my daughter's rape by not letting them wear a short skirt to a party? Hmm? Is there a such thing as defensive dressing? I'm not trying to to put blame on the victims, I just want to know how I can avoid it. I suppose always being willing would keep it from rape, but that's even worse if u ask me. What about making sure someone is always around good friends who will watch each others backs and not get drunk and run off with someone else leaving a defenseless girl alone with wild dogs? Maybe that's it: defense. Teach my girl martial arts...maybe make her wear her black belt at night to ward off aggressors. (Of course at night the blackness might blend in.)
Well, my point is, I want to know how an individual can help prevent from being raped. What situations are more rapable situations, and what actions makes a person less vulnerable? Or does it really make no difference whether a person dresses in a short skirt and low top, or baggy jeans and sweatshirt, because in the end, its someone you know and trust that doesn't pick you for any specific reason?
...I'm just asking.
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Blaming the victim for rape is just low. Even if she dresses in short skirt and tight t-shirt. It does not mean she is trying to provoke any sexual attention. Perhaps she has to work in that outfit? A girl should be able to wear whatever she wants to like a guy who can walk around with a tang top.
To prevent yourself from being a victim of rape is pretty easy. You should always go places in a group. The more people that are around you, the better. However, if you're at a party, that might be different. You should at least have a friend who can go everywhere with you and stick with you all the time. If that is not possible, try avoid drinking too much. Don't take cups from any strangers because they might put something into your drink. Learn martial arts is helpful too. If all fails, kick the guy in the nuts where it hurts as hard as you can and run! Forget about your shoes. Take your purse though...you wouldn't want him to stalk you with your credit cards and other photo ids right?
DO NOT get weapons that can be used against you later like knife, gun or electrical device. If the attacker is stronger, he/she can just snatch it from you and use it on you. That's all I can think of now. lol But most of this, you probably already know.
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http://www.mylot.com/?ref=truelife
Majority of victims are raped by familiar to them people- boyfriends, friends and partners. 30 % of male-students answered that they would rape if there is no panishment. (Wolf N., Beauty Myth)This facts say that something is wrong not only about boys but about the whole society. There is sexual dimension which penetrates each of us, since we are all products of society. And this dimension begins with films, MTV programs, magazins ending with youth's sexual imagination. I agree that victims should not be blamed. Because rape is not only about girls' behavior, but also about men's perception of sexuality. I deem that we should take control over social institution that "tempt" youth for rape.
two mentions:
Vastly underreported is male rape by women. Generally involves drugging them and there is generally ALOT of manipulation involved. Also normally someone they know (or someone who wants to 'get at' a guy's girlfriend/wife)
Also, most reports I've read, rape isn't about sex, but about power. Though the over-stimulation at young ages does lead to many sexual temptations, most don't lead to rape (with the exception of child molesters)
You bring up a good point. When is seduction considered rape? If you can talk or tempt someone into it, is it no longer a crime? Of course, if they continue to refuse you, it then becomes assault or harassment.
That is a good point I didn't focus on. A lot of rapes are from trusted/familiar people. That is why I mentioned the friends one has, though a lot of times it is by a person that they never suspected would do that.
Secondly, I can't believe that many people admitted to being willing to rape if there was no punishment. Maybe we should stop telling people that most rapes go unreported and unpunished.
Clothing doesn't do a thing when it comes to rape, and neither does attractiveness. I've talked to many a rape victim who was overweight, making a late-night run to the grocery store in a baggy t-shirt and sweats, and still got raped, just because they happened to walk by at the right time.
I don't need drugs - I have genetics.
I recommend at least 1 of 2 things, if not both.
1.) learn martial arts. Don't mess with the power-based forms as often times your attacker is MUCH stronger than you are. Learn Aikido (or its more violent form Aikijujitsu) This focuses on transferrence of energy, using their momentum against them. It also focuses on nerve and joint locks to cause damage or just enough pain for them to let you go.
2.) Arm yourself. AT LEAST pepper spray or mace. Preferably, since I'm a fan of self-defense, get a concealed carry permit, a small pistol or revolver and practice with it at shooting ranges.
When someone is going to rape you, saying "no" doesn't accomplish anything, and no cop can get there in time to stop it. You need something more than harsh language to defend yourself from such monsters as rapists.