Way back when, divorce was illegal. Even if something was going on between the two, the matrimony was a permanent one, and "until death do us part" was actually meant. Now that it's been legalized, people get married for no reason... maybe just to have the title or whatever, or free sex whenever they want, but of the many marriages there are, how many are out of love? 50% of marriages end up in divorce nowadays... and what about the people that had children?
I am a child of divorce myself, so I know exactly what to expect. Parents having to fight in secret because things are not working out between them... trying to be quiet while the kids are sleeping so no one will have to know... and then finding out because of curiousity and eavesdropping abilities. Children are gravely affected by divorce of their parents, and it easily leads to depression or whatever... unless the relationship was incredibly violent, most of the time the child is affected in a negative way.
Having to watch my father drive down the driveway away from my life... it just broke everything I had. It made things so much harder...
They try to make it easier for kids by not letting them know what's going on, or waiting until the children go off to college, but does it matter? Marriage is supposed to be for love, not living together for a few years, then deciding it's better to see new people.
And because the divorce rate is so high nowadays, doesn't it make you wonder what it will be like later? Because it is so enormously high (50% and up), and the number increases every day. Thousands of dollars are put in just for divorce. Understandably, as mentioned earlier, it is alright if the relationship is highly abusive and deadly to some, but the others... does anyone really need to go through that? Especially with children.
Make sure you love before you get married- don't fall into a mistake like half of the US population does.
~Samantha
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isn't just about love. Granted, I'm only 20, but through different venues I've come to know many women who are about to get married, are married (in both good and bad marriages), and who have been married and are now separated/divorced. My parents are divorced (though it hasn't affected me as much as it's obviously affected you-my father went to jail when I was two and I was raised by my mom, so it's like they weren't even together-of course, living without a dad HAS affected me, but that's not the point). Two (or more) people can love before they get married, and after a few years that love is gone, or it's not the same. For some people, that love grows, and for others it diminishes. I doubt most people go into marriage thinking "I'll be done with this in 5 years or less". I think one of the major reasons for divorce being so high today is because people are now free to get out of relationships if need be. Culturally, we were instructed to "stay together for the kids" or "stay together because God says it's right", when the people in the marriages were NOT happy. Of course, it's not simply about being happy-there has to be compromise.
Marriage is a complex idea. I can tell you are speaking from personal pain, but I urge you to reconsider. Marriage is work, marriage is hard, marriage is difficult. As a matter of fact, forget marriage. Relationship is work, relationship is hard, relationship is difficult. Whether it's with a friend, boyfriend or girlfriend, parent, or spouse. Relating to other human beings will always be complex, and sometimes it just doesn't work out, and there's nothing we can do about it.
I would have NEVER gotten married in the first time. I will NEVER get married again, either. Live with one, maybe....married, NO WAY. It's just a money thing. You can make contracts with someone without marrying them anyway. That's why I can't figure out why gay people want to get married. Unless they just want alimony. I NEVER got any, but some people only think about money concerning everything they do. And to be perfectly honest, a woman's income drops drastically when she divorces...a man's doesn't. I'm wondering if you all are that concerned with societal ills, why you don't address these concerns along with the fact a single man makes more money for the same job a woman with kids do. They once said they paid men more because they had a family to support. Well, so do women. Have a great day, Zena
In all honesty, I think many of the people (at least most of them) truly are in love when they get married, or at least they believe they are in love.
But, sometimes things just change.
I know how horribly trite that must sound, but unfortunately, it's true.
Sometimes it takes a while to come out; like after the children are grown up and then in the silence of an empty nest the parents realize that they never really had anything in common.
Sometimes one partner in a married couple will grow in a direction that leaves their spouse behind emotionally. And sometimes priorities change. With today's world, many married couples don't have the chance to really sit down and connect the way they could when they were younger. She has a job, he has a job, the babysitter is always around, kids don't give them any privacy. Then, when they should be talking and communicating, they just don't know how.
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"Dream as though you'll live forever, but live as though there's no tomorrow" --James Dean
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/fanaile-essence