I’m graduating in mid-June. June 14th, to be exact.
It’s scary; on one hand, I’m so ready to blow this Popsicle stand… But on the other hand, I don’t want to let go. I’m going to a college on the other side of the state, and it’s far enough away where my I have to phone ahead for visits, but not so far away that my family won’t be able to reach me after an emergency.
I’m not sure how I feel in regards to being “alone”. I mean, I’ll have to live in dorms, but still… No Mommy and Daddy there to hold my hands and punish me when I don’t do my work. I go from basically being coddled to being abandoned.
I go from being in the same school with the same people I’ve known since the fifth or sixth grade (I transferred into my district in fifth grade, and middle school starts in sixth) to not knowing anyone at all. My best friends are still going to be in the same area – one’s going to ITT, and the other still attends the high school. It’s nerve-wracking. I mean, there are kids attending a college nearby, but not the same one as me. I’m the only one going to this college.
I’m “being prepared” now for college, by my high school… But how am I supposed to make it on my own if I’m not capable of making a choice on my own? If it “isn’t possible” for me to do it now, why is it that, less than five months from now, I’m considered an adult? Going back to a previous entry, I’m not even responsible enough to drop my own classes. My parents constantly have to sign things for me… So why is it that on Ovtober 2nd, I’m suddenly so much more worldly than I was on October 1st? It just troubles me.
I’m legally still a child, but in about a month and a half, I’m going to be out there, in the real world. No one’s going to be close enough for me to lean on – I’m going to have to make all new friends and learn to fend for myself… And it’s kind of unnerving.
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