How can we prevent rape from happening? Why do you think women are raped more than men? Is anyone to blame when rape does happen?
As usual, my ideas for blogging were mostly rants that were not as progressive as they could have been or just written in my head and never transferred to paper. So, as usual, I checked the 'Topic of the Week' page and scrolled down. Usually I just look, but today I wanted to be progressive.
How can we prevent rape from happening?
Physically-
We need to physically empower ourselves and take a self-defense class. By knowing how to repel a defender, we give ourselves the advantage. Less rape because the victims can get away. But, in the event that you the victim can not get away we need to
Mentally-
We need to mentally empower ourselves in two ways. One: Our bodies are our own. They do not belong to anyone else. If your boyfriend or girlfriend is pressuring you into sex, say no if you don't want to. If you do not want your body to participate in such an act, then do not participate in such an act. Talk to your partner. Tell them what you want. Or do not want. If they do not respect you, leave. Please, please please! Just leave. Leave them. Leave the room. Do anything, just leave. They are NOT worth your time. Or your body. And if you give in to them without really wanting to, you could end up a lot worse.
Two: We need to empower the victims of rape. So often they are afraid to come forward. We need to let them know that they should come forward. It is not their fault, no matter what they look like or what they were wearing. There is no shame in getting raped, only shame in not reporting it. If raped by a family member, or close friend, it is often very hard to come forward, but the victims must. Rape is much more serious than some people think. And if you do not come forward, you empower the assaulter. They will just come at you or someone else again.
Verbally-
We need to let the assaulter know that it is not acceptable to rape the victim. The victim needs to make it clear by saying: I do not want to have sex, if you force me to I will come forward and report you to the law. HOWEVER if you are attacked on the street by someone dangerous, it is not the best idea to bring the law into the question. You could end up dead. After you are safe, then you should report it.
Legally-
Make the rape laws harsher. Generally, the law in the USA is imprisonment for about 11 years. According to a Wikipedia article, with citations, most assailants only served only half of their sentences. And some got more time off for volunteering for chemical castration. No time should be given off. Rape is serious. It leaves mental, and sometimes physical, scars that do not go away. I am not suggesting the death penalty, I believe that no human has the right to take another's life. But being chemically castrated does not get rid of the organ. And sometimes it does not get rid of the urge. So, even though physical castration is not humane, it should be required for any multiple offenders. Or at least chemical castration, even though it is not always effective.
Why do you think women are raped more than men?
I think that women are not necessarily raped more than men, I think that men just report it less. It is a pride issue, I think. The victims are too embarrassed or they are scared to come forward. My only explanation for the amount of woman raped is that the victims feel powerless to stop it or to report it or to get help. Powerlessness is the only reason I can think of.
Is anyone to blame when rape does happen?
The assaulter is always to blame for the rape. Regardless of what the victim looks like, how they dress, what they say, or how they respond to the sexual intercourse, if the victim made it clear they were not consenting, the assaulter is always to blame.
There are exceptions, of course. Under the law, someone drugged or drunk cannot legally consent to sex, if both parties are under the influence, I think that careful consideration of the situation needs to be taken. For example, if someone drugs the victim, then the situation should be considered rape. But most drug/alcohol related rapes are questionable, no matter what the law says. Generally, any rape could be considered questionable.
But empowering ourselves is crucial. If the victim lets the rape overpower them, they cannot prevent the rape of their brother or mother or sister or cousin or best friend. Speak out, be heard. Make sure someone hears you, because someone cares, believe me. It may take some time, your personal rape may not get justice, but you might prevent the rape of the next victim by raising the authorities awareness of a potential assaulter. Be empowered because it is not your fault.
Let's rape rape of it's power.
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My best friend is a date rape victim, and she stayed with him for 9 months of it. She didn't think she had a right to stop him from taking what she didn't want to give. She described it to me and she couldn't let herself believe that is what it was for the longest time. But it was. He emotionally and physically forced her into it.
I've had many conversations with her about whose fault it was, because she often times pins the blame on herself. She says she should have been stronger, she should have known to stand up and walk away, and while she is right, she should have walked away, HE forced himself on her, HE made her feel worthless, HE is at fault. She could have stopped it, but he shouldn't have started it.
Rape is a horrible thing. It effects a person in every way possible. It tears apart their self esteem, it tears apart their view of the opposite sex, it tears apart their entire view on life.
Date Rape is as much of a crime as street rape, and that is very important for women and men to understand. Women- if you are forced into something while on a date, if you say no and he doesn't care, IT IS RAPE. Guys (and I don't say men because MEN would not rape)- if you are on a date with a girl, you are not entitled to have your way with her, if she says no and you say yes, you are raping her and I hope you go to jail for it.
If you have been raped, talk to someone who cares about you. Talk to someone who has been through it. Talk to someone who can get you help. Talk to someone, anyone. Don't hold it inside, it will eat you alive. Help can be found. It is not your fault. You have worth, and no man can take that away from you.
-Anne Michelle
This is all great, but you're only focusing on one person... the one who usually does NOT have control over the situation. Stopping rape is not womens' responsibility. It's mens'.
I agree that it is not the victim's responsibility to stop rape. However, the victims cannot just stand about idly while the attackers just run amuck. Because some rape can be prevented by a little bit of standing up for yourself. For example, a girl pressuring her boyfriend into sex can be stopped by the guy saying no. A little brother telling his older sister that his uncle touches him. The next sexual assault could be prevented because the uncle is now in prison and by the time he gets out that little boy will be old enough that he doesn't ever have to see his uncle again.
Prevention cannot stop every rape, but it can be a start.