Can't people learn their lessons the first time? I feel like Curdie in the book "The Princess and Curdie" who was given the gift to see through a person to see if they were really a beast or not deep down inside. Sometimes I feel like I've been given that kind of gift - discernment, if you will. I don't like it, even though having insight is a good thing in many instances. Perhaps it's being hyper-judgemental. I don't know.
There was this concert sponsored by my church a few years ago. It was run by a man who is a complete jerk and who has quite the negative reputation in the community. But TPTB didn't see that and didn't know about it at the time, since he was still rather new to the church. Perhaps they still cannot see it because this spring he is producing another concert.
Let me give you a little background about this guy. My mother went to high school with him. He was a tenant at my grandparents' house. He owns 4 local businesses. He was fired for sexual harassment at one place. He has a son who has struggled with his sexuality for years to the point where he had to confide in someone objective about his fears of being gay (and he does act quite effiminate, but anyway). His daughter is cruel, mean, but the father dotes on her, while the mother dotes relentlessly on the son. It's a messed up family situation and now the son is engaged to a very sweet girl.
So this man is allowed, once again to hold a temporary leadership position in the church. He will be leading the very same people who bickered and backstabbed their way through the last few concerts. He will put himself in the middle of it all like Ziegfield's follies. He will imitate the act of praising God through music and though the sacrifice and hearts of some of those involved may be in the right place, his won't be. It never is.
You see, I called him on it one year in a blog I'd written. Oh, the power of words! My dad was involved in running the sound for the concert. He never was *asked* to do it, rather he was told that he was doing it. One night, he made a CD of the rehearsal, where you could hear the musicians and singers bickering and criticizing each other and you could hear this man barking orders at them all. Not to mention, the people in it were ill-prepared and none of the songs were being done right. So I wrote a blog about it.
I said that what was taken place (I had also heard from several of the people involved about the discord amongst the group) was utterly unacceptable and should not be overlooked or glazed over as it was. I also said that the idea of a "show", as it was referred to as, wasn't really appropriate in a church setting. That implied that it was being done for show and that it wasn't sincere.
It was really only calling out a few people in it, but someone in authority took offense and I was called in for a meeting to discuss the matter. That brought out the ugly feelings that have been between my family and this family for years. They called me judgemental, words flew back and forth - again the power of words! - until it came out that this man was known as being quite the jerk in the community. He had the audacity to say that we should have defended him as a brother-in-Christ and I almost laughed. I would never defend someone like that - brother-or-sister-in-Christ or not! If someone has bad behavior in the community, do they deserve to have you lie about them and say that they are really good? I don't think so. It just shows how deluded this man is and how puffed up his opinion of himself is.
So I just found out that the concert was being allowed to take place again. This, after all the strife and hurt feelings it has caused every single year! I have a friend who is in it every year and she always complains of the inter-personal problems. I've asked her why she won't just say 'no' and she says she just doesn't have the heart to. Part of me thinks that her own vanity is keeping her from it. I don't know.
It's very frustrating for me. I hate being able to see through people. I hate that I often see the negative things about people like this and not the good things. Truth be told, I can't really think of any good things about some of those people and it's a little disheartening. It makes me feel like I really am becoming one of those frozen Northerners.
All I can do is hope that this year will be better for this concert, that it will finally achieve what it says that it hopes to. I don't know. I'm too cynical to think that some of the people involved, the faux-humble people, will be able to see past their own glory enough to focus on what they really need to focus on - which is glorifying God.
Methinks this would be better to just be avoided altogether.
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