I never thought I'd be here. Well, not in reality. I had always dreamed that I'd be able to make my dreams of being an archaeologists in China true. It is just that every day when I wake up, it doesn't feel different from being in America, England, or even Egypt. I just wake up, go on with life. The only difference to me here is that I can't read the signs and have no idea what people are saying most of the time.
I'm struggling to learn Chinese. I never really thought I'd learn it in the country. I thought I'd be sitting in a classroom like I was when I learnt Japanese. (And forgot Japanese. >_>) It is a lot easier to learn it in the country. It makes it doubly easier that native people are here supporting my efforts. Even the ones that don't speak a word of English have been helping me out.
Although being in China is a dream come true for me, I was far more in love with Ancient China. The modern China disquiets me some. I can't quite place my finger on why. Then again, being in Egypt was a dream come true and it was a little shaking too. I think it is because I'm so focused on the older pasts that when I'm faced with the modern world I'm not that happy with it.
There are also reasons why I'm a little upset with modern China that I dare not post online. Sometimes when I read things or am faced with a new aspect of the lives here, I just get shaken up a bit.
However, there are many, many things I like here. For instance EVERYONE at the school that I teach at here gathered in the main square of their campus to donate money for the people at the earthquake's epicentre. It was moving to see that many caring people in one place. Plus, when I say everyone, I mean everyone. Teacher, students, and even the janitors were donating money to the cause. Yes, I donated. I make more money than the students and most of the teachers, although I don't get paid as much as I technically should. I still donated what I could. I don't carry a lot of cash on me, and they never plan things out in China. So, they didn't get a lot from me. Only 100 kuai since I also only had one more kuai on me, and I needed that for the bus. My students got teary eyed that a foreigner would donate so much money. I was informed later that not even the richest person in administration donated so much even though they had more than that on them.
It feels like I'm finally getting a touch of homesickness, but not really. I never cared much for the western world because I didn't feel like I belonged there either. What I really miss is a public library, a quiet place to go, and some down-time. I work too much here without a proper way to release my stress. The closest thing I have for this is cooking and going for a bike ride. With the weather changing every day, I never know if I can ride my bike without getting caught in a storm.
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Everyone at my school is gathering money too. 100 kuai is a fine donation. It's wonderful to see each class with their own box and gathering whatever they can scrape together. One of my classes yesterday had a huge bag of change.
Another thing--massages. Go get a massage ASAP. Make time for it and just try it. IT has done me a lot of good, especially lately. Just hang in there, you may have got jipped this go around with your placement, but with the next one, you'll know what to look for in your contract.
www.progressiveu.org/blog/americangirlinchina