Dear Boys, I am a heterosexual female who has lost faith in your gender. I am not sure how many of you are familar with the concept of white privilege (if your not google it: try unpacking the invisible knapsack article) but it asks white people to admit the fact that the benfit from a racist system and there for are racist. (please read some articles before commenting on this concept) so what i am asking you boys is to admit that we also live in a sexist system and you as males benifit from privilege. until you are willing to sacrifice some of those privilege to promote the equality of others nothing is ever going to change for any of us.
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I'm not a boy, but I'll admit it for them!
So what exactly are your points of contention with my sex and I?
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Sarcasm - Less violent than a slap in the face.
mabye you could read some femme lit and figure it out for youself. why should it be the job of the oppressed to educate the oppressor.
Because the oppressors don't care. You think you can change anything with that attitude?
I take it your bitterness is the result of some form of sexism you've experienced lately? Or perhaps sexism in general? Either way, don't try and use us as a scapegoat and generalize that all men, with their evil penises of death, are out to get you. Not that I'm accussing you of such, of couse, but since my attempts at discussion have been hissed at, I wasn't quite sure what your point was. Since you're clearly so well educated on the matter I don't suppose it would be much trouble to ask you for a specific system of modern society in which men are given an unfair advantage? It may just be because I have testicles, but I can't really think of one... especially since women outnumber men in just about every college and university.
Angelico
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Sarcasm - Less violent than a slap in the face.
i think that worst offense of sexism in mordern america is the hypersexualization of women, particularly in the media, but it is the effect of that hypersexualization in interpersonal relationships that is particularly damaging to the female psyche. For example, women can be sucessful in many careers but they are still expected to act as sex object outside of that (and all to often inside the workplace) and often women who are sucessful in the business world (in particular) are sucessful because they act "male". is that equality? secondly, women are under represented in congress, yet issues involving their bodies are being debated by a decesion making body in which their opinions are not very represented. I personally feel that men have no place in deciding the legality of abortion because pregancy is is something that effects a women physically, psychologically, emotionally, and economically, and while men do have some stake in a pregnancy they are not bound to the child the way the women does. (my personal feelings on the issue follow a rule of viability). Thridly our language and culture still assume that men are the "stronger" sex and women are dependant on them. For example the word vaginia means a sheath for a swoard, while the term cunt means holy well. Yet we are taught that cunt is an insult. Trust me, a cunt is much more than a sheath for a sword. Traditional gender roles hurt both sexes and it is in everyones best interest to work toward their abolition. As for the idea of the oppressors holding the responsiblity to educate themselves, it comes for the idea of owning white privilege, which holds white people responsible for the racial privilege they receive and the undoing of it. It is not meant to change anyones mind. Personally I don't waste my time trying to reform the opinions of blatant masoganists. it hurts me too much to open up about my experiances to people who outrightly think less of me because of my gender and feminism. It is meant to force the so called antiracists to recognize that their experiance is fundemenatly different than that of a person of color and hold them responsible for their education because they experiance privileges that make their life much easier. Why should POC have to spend their time teaching white people about white privilege and deal with the effects of white privilege on their lives? My blog was calling for the some thing. I deal with sexism everyday. As a heterosexual, i am tied to the male gender in the most intimate of ways and yet most men are unwilling to admit that are experiances are different and that women are confronted with many things that men never have to think about. Feminism has practically become a dirty word. It has often been used as an insult towards me because I have strong opinions and am unwilling to conform to the tradtional role in relationships. For that reason, I ask men to inform themselves about the ways that they oppress women in their daily lives. And if you don't care, then you are being unfair to you sisters, mother, grandmother, female friends, teachers, lovers, etc.
Hypersexualization? So you're mad that men find women attractive? I agree with what Matt said: "lonely guys buying maxim." And as for women being successful in business by acting "male," how is that unfair? A successful businesswoman has simply done what was necessary to become successful... regardless of the fact that some of the characteristics she has taken on have previously been associated with masculinity (I personally don't associate successful business tactics with masculitny, I'm just saying). Are you suggesting that a woman should be able to "act like a woman" and be treated like a man? Is that equality?
True, women are underrespresented in Congress... but what do men have to do with that? Nobody's stopping women from running. That's on you.
Vagina means "sheath for a sword," huh? I didn't know that... However, who cares anymore?? Really, what does the origin of vagina and cunt have any effect in today's society?
As for admitting that the male experience is different than that of the females... of course it is! Men and women are different. That's just how it is. I'm sorry you have to deal with being regarded as a sex object, the pain of child birth, and menstral cramps, I really am. But what do you want me to do about it?
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Sarcasm - Less violent than a slap in the face.
my point about women having to act like men is that they have to comprimise their femininity (i.e. idenitity) in order to be taken seriously. this is founded on the assumption that male is normal or what should be strived for. That is not equality. Secondly women are still underpaid in america, and even if there are a few examples of women who are paid a higher wage than men they are tokenized. and as for hypersexualization, women being treated as sexual objects reduces a women's value in society to her sexuality, actually not even her own sexuality but her sexuality in context to what males find to be sexually attractive. while all people are priviledged over others in different areas (and i will gladly admit that as a middle class white girl i benifit from both ecomonic and racial privilege) it is the inability to admit that privilege that hurts the underprivileged. it implies that our system allows for everyone to have a fair chance at sucess, and that is unfortunatly not the truth. What is the truth is that women secured the right to vote in federal elections in 1920 (the 19th amendment to the constituation) a mere 86 years ago. and while we can all admit that progress has been made towards ending sexism, to honestly beleive that an institution that had existed for thousands of years (about since the rise of christanity) cuold be erradicated in less than 100 years is ludacris. It is an unfortunate thing for me that you regard this struggle to be over, becuase frankly it isn't. Statistic don't show it (for one the aaup or americain assocation of university professors estimante that female professors make about 80% of the salary that men make as of 2001.), congressional representation doesn't show it (and just because women can run for congress doesn't mean that they will be elected) and the personal experiances of women don't show it either. i know that it is hard to realize that we have privilege (i have gone through it when i began coming to terms with my white privilege and continue the process of realization everyday) but it is irrational and ignorant to ignore it. and above all it hurts people more when you ignore it rather than recognizing it and moving past it.) what i was asking for in my blog is perhaps something that has not been asked of you yet in your life, but i am asking you not to devalidate my ideas because they are based on the personal experiances of my life (and perhaps, though not nessisarily the fact that i am female) becuase there are plenty of statistics, emprical socailogical evidence, and liturature to support them. In my post i was hoping that readers would make themselves familiar with the concept of white privilege and apply the idea of privilege to sexism as well as racism. if you had in fact done so beore commenting (as i had asked) you would have found that the article i suggested you google (unpacking the invisible knapsack by peggy mcintosh) makes a similar comparision in forming the arugement for the acceptance of white privilege. so, finally minimizing the differance between a male and female experiance to menstrual cramps, child birth and hypersexualization makes light of a history of opression that countless women fought against. just the fact that we are having this dialouge is a creidt to their legacy but if i would rest on the limited amount of equality that they have secured for us, there would be not chance that the women who will come after me will not have to suffer the injustices i have outlined above.
is this one of those, your sleeping on the couch until you say sorry moments? or am i just totally misreading this?
afterhoursdjs.org
"facts are like kryptonite to the left" - vn_luborimi
it's more of a sleeping in your own house until you can admit your privileged moments, thank you.
just because it is no longer enforced by the legal system does not mean that women do not experiance sexism. The assumption that men are smarter, stronger, and more likely to be sucessful still exists. trust me,i have a cunt and i have expeianced it personally. as for your supply and demand concept, capitalism fucks people over all the time, (hello slavery, it was a capitalist institution, why pay people when you can force someone to work for free) (not that i am suggesting that sexism is as prevalent in our society as racism) so instead of asking me to point out a law that benfits men over women presently, i ask you to point out a law that benfits women over men at any point in history. oh yeah, and i'll stop whining when you quit being ignorant.
and vagiana is a prettier word?
Oh, we women are oppressed. Woe are us!
i take it you are informed about femenism and it's perspectives? i certainly hope so before devalutating it entirely. and if you are not, don't waste my time as my time with your pigheaded comments. since you are so obviously unwilling to consider that perhaps women are in fact opressed.
Just like, you know, the Goths.
That blog is really a disservice to women. Women are MUCH Stronger than that. Women need to stand up for their rights and not just take crap from the men that are running the show. Why aren't there more women in politics? Many have been herded like sheep into housewife roles. That's great to be a parent, but how about some women that grab the bull by the balls, and throw it around a bit? We need women to step up to the plate and take shots at leadership roles, because the men sure don't know how to run a government or corporations! Holy Crap! And just read up on some of the CEO and Government corruption and embezzlement schemes before you disagree with that last comment!
first of all plenty of women run for elected office, a far lower number is that of the ones who are actually elected. and secondly i truely hope that you are a female before you call anything i say a diservice to my gender. otherwise you are blatantly asserting your privilege onto my experiance by judging what is or is not a disservice to women through the perspective of a man. the only comment i have received on this post by someone you identified themselves to me as a female was agreeing with me. and if you are in fact a female, and would deny the fact that men are privileged over women i would like to know what your background is becaus ethat has not been the experiance of any woman i have ever met. if you imagine i am blind to the fact that women are powerful, you are sadly mistaken because i have so much respect for my gender and consider every power women a step in the right direction, but trust me, the journey towards equality is far from over.
Honestly women are way better off then men. Think about it...if a guy says a sexist joke in public, he is in huge trouble. If a girl does the same, it doesn't matter. I'm tired of girls complaining. The sexes are NOT equal. We are not meant to be. Men are generally more muscular while women are more petite. That is how it is. Nothing about men being pigs bla bla bla. If anyhting women are getting way to proud of themselves!!!
If that's the case why do working women make only 73 cents in America to every dollar made by working men? Not ratios--one on one. If there's no bias, why?
~CallieV