In the past nine months since I stopped cutting, I've been checking out information about it.
Most people who do not cut or injure do not understand why people cut. But shockingly statistics say that if there are honest emotional issues that people do not feel the pain, and it is really a cry for help.
The most common reason people cut is that they feel they have lost control over something. I’m slightly concerned about that fact though. Sometimes I wonder if teens had more liberty, we could drop the amount of self injury. If we felt like we had more control maybe we wouldn’t feel the need to self injure.
Most of my friends disagree.
What about you?
I too have been a cutter and haven't now for some time. I believe that the control they are talking about is more a control over themselves (i.e. weight, physical looks, a personality trait, etc.). I do not think that if parents gave their teen a later curfew that they would stop cutting.
In my experience the reasons for my self injury were more closely related to depression and stress. I did not have control over my emotions or my impulses. There were times when I would not eat just because I felt that I could'nt. The most important thing was for me not to eat, I don't know what I thought might happen if I did and I wanted to sometimes.
I think that is the kind of control that drives a person to cut. I hope that made sense. It is hard for me to put a lot of things into words so I can try to explain more if there are questions.
In my opinion, teens need more stability and they need people in their lives who will always be there for them and love them. Teens need to have at least one person they can talk to about anything. Ultimately that was the only thing that finally got me to the point of quitting. These days, there are so many dysfunctional families and the kids are often the ones who get hurt the most by that. Kids need a mom and a dad who both love them and spend time with them. If they don't have that then they are more likely to turn to other things (SI, drugs, sex, etc.) to fill that void in their lives.
I was intrigued by your post. I too am someone who has struggled with self-injury for more than 30 years. I addressed the issue of control as it relates to my self-injury in a blog entry this week. I think you may find it interesting. I would love to have you read it and then send me your comments.
http://comes-the-light.livejournal.com/4551.html
Award-Winning New Film Addresses Teen ‘Cutting’ Epidemic in U.S.
For an estimated 2 to 3 million Americans, self-injury, or ‘cutting’ as it is more commonly known, is a grave and growing problem – especially among teens. Disturbed by this alarming trend and compelled to investigate further, award-winning filmmaker, Richard T. Wilson went directly to the source, meeting with teen cutters who then proceeded to take him on a journey that led to his latest film, ‘The Hurting’. The short drama, written and directed by Wilson, debuted on PBS last January and recently won a prestigious Special Jury Award at the Worldfest-Houston International Film Festival. The film is part of the critically-acclaimed ‘Maple Ave’series which the 43 year old filmmaker began over three years ago to ‘help families better connect in an increasingly disconnected world’. Since 2003, the Emmy Nominated, Telly and Remi Award-Winning series has reached millions of viewers nationwide, via PBS and the classroom, with its’ unique take on the everyday issues/struggles of teens and their parents. “I’m only reporting back on what kids are telling me – and, obviously, a lot of it isn’t pretty”, Wilson said. Recently, an especially powerful clip from 'The Hurting' was uploaded to the popular YouTube site (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tho4j1aqzBI) with the hope that 'the clip will be shared and help provide a glimpse in to an often misunderstood disorder.' Wilson also commented that the research for ‘The Hurting’ was ‘especially painful'. “The abusive backgrounds that a lot of these kids come from are absolutely heartbreaking. Whether it’s psychological, physical or both, the abuse that’s regularly inflicted upon these kids, usually by a family member, just deadens them inside. By self-injuring, they suddenly feel alive again and, more importantly, in control...it’s essentially a coping mechanism, albeit a very destructive one.” Wilson recollects one girl telling him that she cut herself because her parents were "too high to care." Another student told him, "The physical pain numbs the emotional pain." Another said they cut, "to prove I'm real." Upon learning of his daughter's cutting, one father's reaction was, "How can you insult me like this? You didn't get it from me." These and other heartbreaking stories found their way in to the film's final story-line. In 'The Hurting' main character, Ashley Sanchez (played by Corazon Rodriguez) resorts to ‘cutting’ to cope with an abusive father, who’s regularly victimized her family as far back as she can remember. Like a growing number of teens nationwide, Ashley regularly cuts her arms and legs, substituting her overwhelming inner pain and rage with an external pain that she is seemingly better able to manage. This last illusion is finally dispelled in a heart-wrenching finale that finds a desperate Ashley reaching out to a sympathetic teacher for help.
‘…a very, very powerful film.’
Buffalo, NY PBS affiliate WNED debuted 'The Hurting' back in January, along with the three other films that make up the acclaimed 'Maple Ave' series. The station's ThinkBright TV Program Manager, Goldie Gardner, called ‘The Hurting’, “a very, very powerful film. … another outstanding installment of ‘Maple Ave’. ... I had no idea that this problem is so widespread....” Wilson is grateful for Gardner’s and other PBS affiliates ongoing support of the series. “Naturally, our hope is raise as much awareness about the issue as possible and PBS and now YouTube are certainly helping us to do just that.”
For more information on ‘The Hurting’ and the ‘Maple Ave’ series please visit ‘Street Where You Live’ Productions (www.streetwhereyoulive.com).
So far from my experiences, I've heard two main reasons for cutting. Number one was to be able to have a concrete pain to focus on, because the cutter couldn't fix or analyze the emotional pain they were going through. Number two was seeing it as sort of a release, like letting off pent up energy.
I've also seen a lot of people "cut" for attention, but these mostly invovle tiny scratches with plastic forks and fingernails, and I really don't have a lot of respect for the people I know who would use such a serious problem to garner attention or admiration.
I cut since I was twelve years old. I have not entirely stopped, though I have only scars now.
It was definitely not a cry for help because I hid it so much. Nor was it a need for control (anorexia was for that.)
Cure heterosexuality!