The future is scary -- future meaning "the thought of not succeeding."
I know most of my peers are stressing out over this, but I’ve been seemingly unaffected by all the pressure recently. It’s a huge contrast from the prior years of my career as a student; I’ve always been neurotic when it comes to doing well in school and planning out my future. Seriously! A normal day in the life of me looked something like: School, study, eat, study more, and sleep if there is time. I refused to allow room for possible failure, so I pushed myself way over the edge.
Nearly losing my mind actually worked out fine by giving me good grades, but I was always tired, irritable, and stressed beyond belief.
Taking a step back and looking at my life in retrospect over the summer of ’06 helped a great deal. Senior year has been much more laid-back, but I’m still getting my work done. I think I let the fear of failing take over my logic. However, changing my definition of success made me a lot happier. I’ve come to believe that success isn’t going to come from getting good grades, going to a top college, and making an unreasonably large amount of money per year. Success, for me, is going to come from personal accomplishments. Things such as having a stable and loving family or time for personal hobbies are way more important to me than being wealthy or having a high position on the social ladder. I’d rather be getting gray hairs from my kids’ craziness rather than dying from my job. Also, my intentions for going to college are good. I'm not trying to go to a top university to beat out people for jobs; I want to receive good education to give it back to the people. I want to gain knowledge for the sake of helping the less fortunate and to be a provider of opportunity. May it be through teaching children in third world countries or simple through a public school in California, I'm going to be giving something to people that I don't ask much for in return.
The weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders after my epiphany. The future also seems more bright than bleak. I don’t feel so scared of getting bad grades, not getting accepted to certain colleges, or not being able to find a well-paying job. Working hard with my good intentions couldn’t fail me – success is virtually guaranteed.
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wow, this sounds a LOT like me.. for the past three years i've been stressed and irritable about grades, being successful, identifying success as getting into Berkeley or Stanford and becoming the CEO of a major company. It was when my little brother asked where i'd been (he hadn't seen me in over a week!) that i realized it was time for a change. now, i still care about grades and getting into a good college - and of course i still stress - but i find MUCH more time to relax. nowadays, unfortunately, i think everyone goes through this. way too much pressure is put on us to succeed, resulting in a bunch of stressed-out mindless test takers trying to get into harvard. imagine that kind of person trying to later lead the country!