Today when I was working at the library, I came across a book called, 'Die Happy: 499 Things Every Guy's Gotta Do While He Still Can' by Tim Burke and Michael Burke.
It's the grossest book ever. Every chapter has a check list of things to do before guys tie the knot. An underlining theme throughout the book is, guys have no life after marriage.
This gets graphic so beware! Here are some of the things it recommends:
Snort Tequila, wear a diaper (and only a diaper) to the beach, try to pick up chicks at a lesbian bar, go out with no place to crash--find a girl to take you home at all costs, share a hot tub with women who are topless, bottomless or both, one word: threesome, get a stripper's phone number...for real, make sweet love to a woman ten years older than you a.k.a. "bang a cougar", have sex with a woman who thinks your name is Thor, enjoy two women within a twenty-four hour time period, drink a redheaded slut and then go home with one, drink something on fire....
After reading some of the book to the other librarians, they were like "You are so naive to think that ALL guys aren't like this".
Yet, I've dated guys who weren't interested in checking out hot women (at least, they were polite enough not to check them out when I was with them). And I've also dated guys who would rather read poetry and discuss philosophy than "read" a playboy magazine and discuss the wet t-shirt contest they recently went to.
However, my colleagues were convinced that the guys I dated were just putting on an act to impress me or they were gay and didn't know it. Although it's rare, I know there are some guys who aren't just looking to lie to women and then screw them.
Another part of the book also caught my interest. The book lists all of the things guys will do after marriage:
Get in trouble for coming home thirty minutes later than you said you would, wake up early to get a head start on chores, errands, and other household duties, vacation in Disney World, spend Friday night shopping at Target, kill a Saturday at the petting zoo, drive a minivan because you find it "very practical", feel wrong about yelling "show me your tits", frequent Chucky Cheese, consider a Blockbuster Night a 'fun' evening, not recall the last time you got shitfaced with your buddies...
Basically, guys have this window of "opportunity" to be a playboy, promiscuous jerk-off before they become a wife-whipped, bored-to-death husband. So the point of the book is for guys to be as much of a jerk as possible before committing themselves to the monastery (otherwise known as marriage).
Many guys say, "Guys are simple" or "All men are like that". In my mind, these people who make excuses for this kind of behavior are the types who would do shitty things like this. The guys who wouldn't are the ones saying, "Not all guys are like that" (and they also mean it).
The trick is to separate the losers (aka jerks) from the guys who are sophisticated.
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I <3 feedback.
All guys ARE jerks! But, women can be jerks at times too.
As you've read from my blog, I disagree with you that all men are jerks. It's too broad of a generalization to ever be accurate. I do believe that some are (which include the authors of this book). Hahaha!
:) Thanks again!
NO. Not all men are immature jerks. In saying this, I think it is fair to say that the vast majority of them are. We live in a culture that fosters this sort of behavior--we televise shows like Jackass and Real World which encourage men to treat women as objects as well as to act like children. I must say I've only met two--maybe three guys who do not fit the stereotype. SO...if you meet one, SNAG HIM. Haha.
"We live in a culture that fosters this sort of behavior..."
I agree completely! Our culture tries to dictate the norms of masculine AND feminine behaviors.
I've met around the same amount of guys who tend to disregard the proper code of behavior for men, too. They're great people.
Nice username, by the way!
nah not all men are like this. But honestly, all men have that side in them, whether or not its buried enough to ignore for the majority of your life or not. Not gonna lie, some of those things sound pretty fun, and honestly, most guys wanna be a "badass" or a "bad boy" for a little while in their lives, and being a badass when your married isn't a very good idea
Yeah, they are hilarious--but not if the guy is actually doing them. To think about running around the beach in only a diaper--ha! I'd be laughing. Others are downright hurtful.
I think girls have it in them as well. To be wild that is. But a person is crossing the line, when he or she is taking advantage of someone else without that person's consent or knowledge of what his or her intent is. In this case, if a guy wants to have sex with a girl because she is a red-head (and check it off of his "to-do list"), I'd say to him, "Get a life and an STD while you're at it!"
Tequila and diapers. I find it hard to believe that any self-respecting girl runs in dating circles with men who associate themselves with these objects as highlights of their pre-marriage life.
All men aren't jerks; that's a pretty sexist generalization. I can name a few who aren't, but they are few and far-between. Generally high grades and some kind of attempt at a career plan signifies that you won't be dealing with.. diapers.
+ Ave[ry] +
"Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could do only a little."
Edmund Burke
thanks for the comment. :)