MY DVD REVIEWS - PART 5

SYRIANA

For Steve Gaghan to take-on such an ambitious project for his first time as a movie director, tells me that he is either ballsy or an ignoramus. After watching this film, I have to say that he is the former instead of the later. This film, which earned George Clooney a well-deserved Best Supporting Actor Oscar, left me speechless during the closing credits. Giving you a heaping helping of the CIA, Middle Eastern culture, big oil, rich fat-cats, and terrorists on both sides – Syriana is definitely a movie that weaves all of these different but connected story lines together to form a monumental piece of work. I was highly impressed after watching it, and after I read about the actual events that inspired this film, I was in total awe. I try to steer clear of political mumbo jumbo and especially Hollywood’s take on it, but this is a must-see film. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.

FIREWALL

Harrison Ford and Virginia Madsen star in this expensive, flashy and highly boring film about a bank executive whose family is being held hostage by money hungry goons, whose goal is to get the millions stashed away at the bank in which Ford’s character works. *BIG SIGH* OK, let me break it down for you. Not one person in this movie seems shook-up about anything. Virginia Madsen and her children act like the men holding them hostage are house guests, Ford acts like he is more concerned with the money than his family, and the goons reminded me of the inept guards that were suppose to be guarding 007 during all of his improbable captive situations. This movie literally blows. Harrison Ford had this “I have a painful case of gas” look on his face throughout the entire film, and I was expecting him to start wheezing any minute. He needs to realize that he is 140 years old now, and it is time to either retire or start doing “family” movies. He is too old to be an action hero. Harrison, sweetie, you are not Han Solo anymore. Play a grandpa in your next flick.

THE THREE BURIALS OF MELQUIADES ESTRADA

Tommy Lee Jones makes his directorial debut and stars as ranch hand Pete Perkins who drags Border Patrol agent Mike Norton (Barry Pepper) across Texas and into Mexico to bury his friend whom the agent shot and killed. This movie, shot entirely on Jones’ ranch, is beautiful not only aesthetically speaking, but also poetically. It is a wonderful film and if you were not too fond of Tommy Lee Jones in the past, you will become a fan afterwards. Although a few things like Dwight Yoakam, Barry Pepper (he really creeps me out), and Jones having a young hottie for a wife bugged me, all in all this is a must own movie. The cast did a fine acting job, the cinematography was top-notch, and other than feeling very sorry for the poor old Mule in the film, I honestly have nothing to make fun of – which is saying a lot because I usually make fun of everything.

KISS KISS, BANG BANG

I love Robert Downey, Jr. He is rich, funny, cute, intelligent, and famous. He deserves to live like a rock star – get off his back coppers! OK - enough with my WEIRD SCIENCE fantasies - despite his coke filled lifestyle and his choice in women, you gotta admit, Downey is one hell of an actor. Pair him with Val Kilmer – another fine actor – and you have a hilarious murder/mystery/action/comedy-noir that never gets boring. Even washed-up actor turned soap opera star Corbin Bernsen does a fine job in this story about a small-time criminal posing as an actor who gets an audition in Los Angeles. Unfortunately he (Downey) is brought into the middle of a murder investigation with weirdo-detective Gay Perry (Kilmer). I do not wish to ruin any part of this movie, even the tiniest detail. I will only BEG you to go rent this movie. You have too; it has Robert Downey Jr. in it!

YELLOWBEARD

Originally released in 1983, this movie is FINALLY out on DVD this month! Graham Chapman (“I DON’T LIKE SPAM!!!!!”) of Monty Python fame, wrote and starred in this swashbuckling comedy about an aging pirate let out of prison so that he may lead the British Navy to his treasure. Hilarious performances by half of the cast of YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN (Madeline Kahan, Marty Feldman, Peter Boyle), Cheech and Chong, and fellow Python alumnus’s Eric Idle and John Cleese make this a must-have DVD.

ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT: SEASON 3

Season three of the greatest show that nobody watched is out on DVD this month. Join Michael and his dysfunctional family as he tries to save his father’s company, maintain and sense of normality, and reel-in his dead-beat sibling and drunk mother. This season has my all-time favorite episode THE CABIN SHOW where everyone runs amuck in Reno, George Sr. joins the Blue Man Group, and Gob meets his son for the first time – in the garden where the little boy found the arm. I sure do miss this show. How in the name of all that is holy could FOX replace this wonderful show with Prison Break? FOX just sucks – the only thing good about it is Family Guy, American Dad, and The Simpsons. So, basically, other than cartoons, they blow. LONG LIVE THE BLUTHS!

UNDERWORLD: EVOLUTION

Put a hot British chippy in tight black leather, maker her a vampire who has sex with werewolves, totes around guns blowing other miscreants away - and you have yourself a teenage boy’s fantasy come to life on the big screen. Sheesh. Now despite the contrived sounding basis of the story, it is a decent flick with a bit of eye candy for the ladies as well (Scott Speedman) – not to mention the yummy British/Scottish/Irish accents. Grrrrrrrr. Anyhow – it is a good action movie involving the eternal struggle between the immortal Death Dealers (vampires) and the Lycans (werewolves). Anyone familiar with the RPG games Vampire: the Masquerade or Werewolf: The Apocalypse (I am such a NERD!) will be familiar with the themes of this movie. Not a bad DVD to rent on a Saturday night with some wings and Guinness. Just don’t come near me the next morning after consuming that stuff.