THE MATADOR
Pierce Brosnan stars as a burned out assassin in Mexico who looks like a tired swinger from the seventies. While staying at a hotel he befriends a lowly businessman (Greg Kinnear) who is trying to close an important deal and get home to his family. Hilarity ensues along with Brosnan participating in a bullfight. This movie is absolutely hilarious. Both actors do an outstanding job, especially Brosnan who proves once again that he can do almost anything asked of him. His self-depreciating humor makes this movie a total gem. Make sure you watch the credits for the commentary.
CASANOVA
Before “Broke Butt Mountain”, Heath Ledger did a movie called Casanova. Not being a fan of his, and honestly not wanting to pay money to watch what looked like expensive pulp, I laughed at the thought of him playing a legendary lothario. This film is supposed to be humorous and insightful. It ended up being exactly what I thought it was going to be – utter rubbish. Ledger plays the legendary Casanova who is constantly being chased and almost caught in his romantic schemes. The film supposedly tells the tale of how he finally fell in love and all of the dishonorable things he did until this wonder woman came into his life. This may be a good film for lonely housewives who do nothing but watch soap operas and read historical romance novels, but for the general public I suggest you spend the rental fee on CRASH instead.
AEON FLUX
Take a great animated series, pull out all of the complexities, take away all of the imagination, and give the lead roll to a beautiful actress and you have nothing more than cool special effects. I was not expecting much from this film, after being a huge fan of the series. Granted, Charlize Theron is so pretty, tall and thin you would think she would make a great Aeon Flux. Too bad the screenplay took out all of the things that made the animated series such a dark and wild tale. The only saving grace to this movie besides the special effects is the supporting actors. I mean with the likes of Frances McDormand, Pete Postlethwaite, and Marton Csokas (grrrr baby!) you would think they could save the movie – unfortunately they did not. CAVE DWELLERS had a better script. You can see it on Mystery Science Theater 3000.
FUN WITH DICK AND JANE
I despise Tea Leoni – I cannot stand the way she looks. I do not like squinty eyes like hers, Renee Zellweger’s, or that chick from Grey’s Anatomy. I do not like the way she talks or the way she moves. Plus she is married to David Duchovny and I am not. Nuff said about her. Now, as far as the movie goes – how can ya go wrong with Jim Carey? In this remake of a 1977 movie where a married couple rob banks to pay the bills, he proves as always that he is the king of laughs. You can just look at this man and laugh! For a relatively short film (an hour and a half), it is really enjoyable despite my loathing for his costar. Highly recommended.
THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: THE LION, THE WITCH, AND THE WARDROBE
Any person who read these books by C.S. Lewis as a child will not be disappointed in this lavish and wonderful film. NARNIA tells the story of four brothers and sisters who go to stay with family friends during World War II and discover a room with a wardrobe, which leads them to the land of Narnia. This snowy wonderland is ruled by a ruthless witch (played by the awesome Tilda Swinton) who is obsessed with a legend that foretells her doom at the hands of a human who will restore the land of Narnia and take it out of her evil grip. With the help of Aslan – voiced by Liam Neeson – the children go to war with the witch to free the creatures of Narnia. Other than too many close ups of the children's smiling faces this was a cool movie. The effects are dazzling, especially the different creatures and their facial expressions. I have nothing ugly to say about this movie.
HOSTEL
Throw the name Quentin Tarantino into your movie trailer, and no matter how dull and uncreative your film is, dorks will flock to see it. This dork waited for it to land on her desk before wasting her money, which proves once again that she is smarter than the average D & D player. The basic rundown of the film is like any other horror film made in the past two decades. Backpackers get locked out of their hostel in Amsterdam. They stay at a strange man’s house. Said man tells them of a utopian hostel where the women are loose and ready to do your bidding. Thus, the horny college kids go to this hostel and realize to their horror that they may not live to recount their tale to Penthouse Forum. This movie is so full of clichés that I wanted to scream obscenities every three minutes. If you want sex and just plain old gore, go rent this steaming pile of horse crap and enjoy yourself. The actors who starred in this need to be ashamed of themselves, and will be lucky to get a job at the local Dollar General Store when all is said and done.
MATCH POINT
What is up with the Tennis movies? Anyway, Woody Allen goes across the pond this time, to tell the story of former tennis pro turned instructor Chris Wilton (Jonathan Rhys-Meyers), who tries so hard to be upper class you are actually embarrassed for him. He becomes close friends his student Tom, and eventually marries his sister Chloe. He finally gets wealth, power, and respect only to fall in love Tom’s fiancé Nola (Scarlet Johannsen). Chris must choose between the two women and it may not be the happy ending he wants. But there is one solution…. murder! Truth be told, I am not a Woody Allen fan. I know he has made some critically acclaimed movies in the past and that he married his daughter, other than those two pieces of information I know nothing of the man or his films. Therefore I cannot say whether this was one of his best or worst projects. I can tell you that it did not suck as bad as HOSTEL, which is not saying a whole lot. Granted it is a bit dark, but only just a bit – it never really steps over that edge which is a shame because I think this could have been a good film.
SHOP GIRL
Steve Martin is one of those actors that you always root for even when he is a pompous jerk. Expanded from Martin’s novella, SHOP GIRL stars Claire Danes as and aspiring artist working at a department store. The wealthy Ray (Martin) and her musician friend Jeremy (Jason Schartzman) are the two men in her life. She falls in love with the rich but much older Ray until she becomes disenchanted by his actions. Eventually she must stand up for herself, make a choice between the two men in her life – the self-absorbed business man or the goofy warm hearted poor guy. The film has an excellent cast, and if BOWFINGER did not prove to you that Steve Martin is a genius – this movie one will!
THE CONSTANT GARDENER
This DVD has been out for quite sometime, but due to the hoopla surrounding Rachel Weisz’s Oscar; I finally decided to watch it. Ralf Finnes stars as a British diplomat working in Africa. On a sojourn home to England to give a painfully boring speech, he meets Rachel Weisz and hops in the sack with her. She convinces him to take her back to Africa with him, where they eventually marry and soon expect a bundle of joy. This is all told in a flashback, albeit a very long flashback. The movie starts with her murder in Africa. Now, during this movie, you absolutely hate Weisz’s guts – she seems sneaky, unappreciative of her boring husband, obsessed with being an activist, and apparently having an affair with her male doctor friend. The viewer is totally sympathetic to Finnes character, and you are constantly wondering why on earth he would be upset that she was murdered if she was such a hateful wench. Not all is, as it seems. Without giving away anything, I will just say that you finally figure out what is going on, and not only are you outraged at how she is portrayed, but you are outraged at what you see happening to the people in Africa – especially a scene involving a raid upon a village. This is not a light movie. If you want entertainment do not bother with this film. It is, in my opinion a work of art and should be viewed as such. Some see it as propaganda, I see it as art- although long and hard on your conscience, it is a brilliant film.
CRASH: SPECIAL 2-DISC EDITION
This is another movie that has been out on DVD for quite some time, but after receiving an Oscar for “Best Picture”, I thought it would be worth watching. I must say that it deserved every bit of honor it received. Matt Dillon, Don Cheadle, Thandie Newton, Sandra Bullock, Jennifer Esposito, Brenden Fraser, and Chris 'Ludacris' Bridges star in a film about racism and the effects it has on the lives of everyone involved. There are multiple stories being told in this movie and each story is intertwined somehow – from the carjacker to the district attorney. This was accomplished flawlessly, and each actor does an outstanding job in his or her particular role. This film stayed with me consciously for a few days after watching it, and I cannot think of any movie in which I have seen this year more deserving of its Oscar that CRASH. If you have not seen this movie, you need to do so as soon as possible. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.
