Why Are Republican Homosexuals Such Nasty Homosexuals?

When we look at the general Republican stance on all things homosexual, and then take a look at the type of homosexual that is allied to the Republican movement, I think we can establish a clearer picture on why Republicans are generally so homophobic.

First off, let's take a look at Ted Haggard. Here is a man who declared that "the homosexual agenda" was a devastating sin, he opposed gay marriage, and supported the persecution of homosexuals across America, and he did all this while butt-fucking a rentboy while he was off his tits on meth. He showed total disregard for his family, making a complete mockery of family values, and probably further destroying the lives of his kids. If he had just been upfront like any normal Liberal homosexual he would have spared his family such torment and he could have spent more of his time campaigning to marry the male prostitute he loved rimming so much and made honest men of both of them, no?

Next up, Paul Crouch. Astoundingly homophobic in his rhetoric publicly, and then it transpires that the holy Republican likes a bit of brown on the side. He even paid off Enoch Lonnie Ford $425,000 to keep quiet about the details of their left handed love affair, which just cheapens the perfectly natural buttlove the couple enjoyed on their romantic evenings away at their church owned cabin, and no doubt made poor old Enoch feel a little bit used.

Merill Robert Barker. Republican County Commissioner, not content with the more honest concensual homosexuality favoured by gay Liberals, preferred instead to rape a teenage boy, stand up guy that he was.

Robert Bauman, you cheeky chap, don't try to hide yourself down there at the back. Rape of a 16 year old boy, while preaching anti-gay hate madness to anybody who'd listen to this shit talking, kiddie fiddlin Republican congressman.

Mark Foley, when not massaging the sensibilities of the rabid gay hating Republican massive, spent his idle hours trying to coerce young men into massaging his sphincter into a shit flecked state of hot pink elasticity. That and trying to sweet talk young men into measuring their dicks and other kinky Republican shit while relating a blow by blow account to this creepy hypocrite.

Neal Horsley, showed amazing determination to stamp out the queer menace, by suggesting that police lock up all homosexuals. Unfortunately it then transpired that he was off sodomizing mules in his spare time, while also meddling with gay pornography and dealing drugs.

John Paulk, this prick actually ran a centre which aimed, dark ages stylee, at "curing" gays, and all the while was out prowling for lurid back alley sex with male prostitutes and the like. Not content with choosing to live his own life in a torturously constricting closet of Republican construction, but he felt the need to spread this hypocritical perversion to other homosexuals.

Ed Schrock, one minute he's feverishy condemning all things gay, the next he's wiping egg off his face as videos of him cruising for male prostitutes come to light, at least it looked like egg anyway.

Okay so when we review the calibre of homosexual that the Republicans have managed to produce, and we see the fucked up shit they are into, it is no wonder they are all anti-gay. I mean, if the only gays I knew were like those guys listed above, I'd be fuckin terrified of them too. So spare a thought all you Liberals, Centerists and Independants for the limited frame of reference these regressive hypocrites need to labour under in order to cement their backward views. It's not their fault, they just don't know any better, most of the gays they know personally are twisted Republican liars with a penchant for exploitative anal sex, rape and alround sexual perversion. 

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