Parenting is an art. There are no manuals to give us all the answers. Sometimes we learn through trial and error. The key for parents is to not continue doing the same things repeatedly that don't work, and try a different approach. Remember that mistakes are a necessary function of change. The goal of parenting is to help children develop a sense of autonomy. Teaching them to be self-directed and responsible means that one must learn not to underfunction or overfunction as a parent. Underfunctioning or being an "absent parent" leaves a child feeling alone without support. The lack of encouragement, nurturing, and affirmation can have a detrimental impact on a child's current behavior.
Many parents overfunction in the process of parenting. They get overly involved in every aspect of their child's life. They vicariously live their lives through their children. Children learn to manipulate overfunctioning parents to get what they want. Since overfuntioning parents fear the disapproval of their children, they cater and give in to their wants and needs even if they are unreasonable requests.
The best advice one can give is: Never do for a child what he can do for himself.
I think you definatelty have some great ideas! As a parent of a 2 year old, I have definitely learned a LOT over the past two years. Learning ways to get a two year old to listen is the tricky one! Parents often try to be too involved in their children's lives and it's hard not to be because you've taken care of that child their entire life.
Parents are going to want things for their children that their children may not want for themselves. Like you said, living their lives through children is a way that parents push ideas and other things on children. For parents to avoid these things, they need to talk to their children about what they want to do, opinions and other ideas.
I know there are things I would love for my daughter to do but I know that she may not want those same things and will choose her own path in life.
True. also make the kids work for what they want. let them earn it.
I believe in what you are saying. There are no manuals that could tell you how to raise your child and care for him or her. Manuals can provide suggestions but they can never be better than trial and error; what works best for the child. No one from a distance can say okay try this and this or you better do that to your child. I also believe that what may work for one child may not work for the other. Maybe you need to discipline one more than the other or or spend more time helping another one with homework. Just because one child has a 95 average does not mean the rest will. Some may only get an 88 or 90.
Also the whole making the child do for himself is so true to what I feel. For instance, WHY ARE THEIR PARENTS WHO PUSH THEIR 5 YEAR OLD KIDS IN STROLLERS? Unless the child has a disability, what is the reason for doing this? Let the child walk for goodness sake.