Some kids talk about boogers,
while other more sophisticated lads enjoy poo,
this is my ode to that creamy brown substance,
that resembles dog chow and stew.
To all that is nice, lovely, and chaste,
comes a sonnet from the bowels,
filled with corny, brown, waste.
Anyone can write about roses,
and fill the air with their romantic ardor,
but to wax poetic about crap,
that takes a special, witty, classy, type of chap,
one like me, or a proctologist, perhaps.
It should float in the bowl,
says the doctor to me,
anything less will inevitably,
be a sinking, stinking, pebble sized poo,
one not shaped like your intestines,
but like deer and elk doo,
the one I described is a pain in the rectum,
a pain in the rear,
and in your lower, septic system,
it is bad for you and heinous for me,
so swallow your vitamins,
for that bright yellow pee.
If its colors you’re into,
as is with me,
rapper of poopiness, Master FeCe,
first you’ll need a pure diet,
one sure to dismay,
some pork for putridness,
and seafood for decay.
Beans and broccoli for that exquisite smell,
in the pits of the rectum is where it must dwell,
Some beets and fruit punch,
for that red colored floater,
bloody dung that is fake gets the support of this voter.
Stool, klingons, dingleberries and more,
diarrhea is runny and will make your ass soar!
Add in some corn,
and stir in some nuts,
for that full bodied BM,
that is born from the guts,
It should be shaped like a banana,
or a curvy S hook,
to get into my Guinness World’s Record,
shit breaking book.
Now I know what your thinking,
and yes, it’s about to hit the fan,
for who doesn’t want to be known as the Lyrical Poet;
a.k.a., the Craptastic Man.
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Ohhhhh.. I cannot stop laughing. Very well done. It does, in fact, take quite the poetic person to be able to pull this off. But you did GOOD JOB, DESPITE THE SUBJECT FECAL MATTER.
Ceila
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ceila30
Hahahahahahah, you just did the most brilliant description of poo I have ever read
Fighting Intolerance and Ignorance wherever I see it.
MLR
Interestingly enough, one of the hallmarks of world literature (from about 600 years ago, no less) included a literary discussion of this unorthodox subject.
To submit this work to the annals of great books, see Francois Rabelais' "Gargantua & Pantagruel".
hmmmm.... thats uh... interesting!! It truely does take someone poetic to write about poo.
Well yes, that was highly amusing, but I'm wondering, what exactly prompted this work? (Sense tells me no to ask, but, since you made me giggle, here's your chance for some extra fun)
That was quite humorous but was it a poem or a recipe. Or maybe a poetic recipe. Good job. I wonder what you were doing when you thought of this. LOL
Sometimes all you need is a little laughter...I am sure this qualifies. I have a story about this matter. In Africa last summer, there were these two guys who went with us who were facinated by this brown (or sometimes other colored) form of matter. While everyone was enjoying the sights of all the exotic animals, they simply were taking picture after picture of the "exotic fecal matter." It was quite entertaining!!!
Bekka Joy
well um.. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... you must have alot of time on your hands. and i mean ALOT
If you want to read about content not poo related read my blog. You are one silly poo guy.
Tiffany Southall signing out by keeping you up-to-date.
That was exceptionally enjoyable. Great way to start off my day.
~~~
"You can not help someone who does not want to be helped."
I mean, who can really ace a poem about poo right? Original, witty, with a touch a vulgarity that we can all appreciate. Not too shabby, not too shabby at all.
=BR
This was a good poem and I've never heard one about poo, before.
You are incredibly immature and ...and weird. And have way too much time on your hands. ...GOOD JOB!!! ;-)
Joe Kreydt
Joke Right
myspace.com/jokeright
That is the best crappiest poem I have ever heard. LOL
It is so freaking hilarious - oh so good that it reminded me of something from SNL or Mad TV.
You truly have talent "Craptastic Man". PSH!!...LOL
Have you done improve before?
It would have made me feel uneasy, but when I started it down......Whew!
More appetizing than I anticipated. LMAO
A.C.S.
Poop is great and I've never heard about it in poem form. Theres a first for everything apparrently.
haha its not too bad. i wish i had that kind of creativity