I don't know if this is common in all Asian families or just mine, but comparing my friends' family and mine, I feel like my parents are insane! I know that they mean well, but they just drive me crazy!
In my family, there is high pressure to be the best that you can be (which means doctor and only doctor). And there is this constant nagging to get things done and to work harder. What if I can't work any harder because I'm working my hardest? I do need a break sometimes. And they have this hidden guilt trip that drives me nuts! I hate when they do that because I always fall for it. It's hidden in their voice and I can hear it. Sometimes I think that they don't care about me or my feelings.
I know that my parents mean well and they just want me to be the best and live a good life, but how can I live a good life if I'm unhappy. They do not understand it and when I try to explain it to them, they still do not understand it. I can't wait until I get done with nursing school and move away from home. My brother says that living near home is great because if you need anything, they are there to help. However, he does not understand the amount of stress that I have living at home.
With my parents, it's all about money, saving money, finances, investments, etc. Well... I understand that life is better with money, but it does not mean that people are happy with it. There are so many other things that makes me happy that does not involve money. My friends make me happy, hanging out with them makes me happy, being able to do something I enjoy makes me happy. None of those things involve money. Something else they don't understand.
Is it really just my parents or all Asian parents where you live in constant stress and pressure, when you have high expectations to reach, but you will never reach them because there will always be higher ones. When all you do is study and there is no such this as having fun until you retire because you have to work hard and save money. And there will always be this constant guilt trip of something you're not doing or that you are doing wrong. And the blame of a mistake is always on someone else even if you made the mistakes.
I hope and pray that I will not be like my parents when I become a parent. I need to figure out a way to break the cycle.
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Although I can't relate on the Asian ascept of this, I can relate on pressure.( that was not intended to be racist) I have been pressured to work and make good money. I believe you can break this cycle. I had to teach myself how to let go and relax. I am still the "2 do list" type of person but I have learned that life is short have fun while you can. You are right about the money thing. It is a proven fact that poor people who win the lottery are just as happy as they were before. Happiness is what you make it. Life is what you make it. I believe in working hard but there does come a point when it is just to much. You don't have to be a doctor no matter what your parents have to say about that. You are the one who controls your destiny and should be able to choose what you want. Yes Doctor's make alot of money but alot of people who make alot of money are some of the most lonely people out there. Pick a career that pays descent but makes you happy regardless of what anyone tells you. Teach your children they can be whatever they want to be, this would be a good way to break the cycle.
Something people should know about:
http://www.progressiveu.org/032913-lupus-uncureable-wait-what