i just got off the phone with a friend of mine. she was all upset that her boyfriend has still been keeping in contact with his ex. my friend's not exactly the jealous type, but her boyfriend is not keeping in touch with this girl in the "friend" sense. that would have been okay, but she sends him messages like "i love u" and "when will i see u again" and "let's go to dinner this weekend," and he tells her that he loves her and misses her. i cant understand how he can tell my friend that he loves her, but still talk to his ex-girlfriend like this. i think that is so disrespectful.
then, the guy i was talking to recently told me that he has been in a relationship this whole time and he loves his girlfriend. if he really loved her, he would never have pursued me in the first place, and things between us would never have reached the point that they did. he told me that he treats girls the way they allow him to treat them--basically saying he uses girls if they will let him--but since i seemed like a nice, respectable girl, he didnt want to lead me on only to use me. i cant honestly believe that he loves his girl because he cheats on her constantly, and then to make it worse, he's cheating on her with these fast girls who give it up easily.
why do people throw the word "love" around so carelessly? i think it is one of the most powerful words in the english language, but people act like it doesnt mean anything anymore. these days, love is almost synonymous with lust. i dont know about everyone else, but love is still an important word to me. im not going to tell someone i love them unless its true. i dont think u should play with peoples emotions like that.
im curious to kno how the rest of u feel about this subject...
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I agree 100% with you. I know people who say they are absolutely in love with someone... and then go around with the guy's best friends. I just don't get it.
On a different note, people who say it to their friends--ok. I do too because I do love my friends. Some people say it out of habit and it bothers me. This one girl I know went with some other people to go out to eat. They met some new people and within 15 minutes she was saying, "I love you guys!" ... She probably wouldn't recognize them a couple weeks later.
People are just ridiculous these days.
Now-don't get me wrong on this-but a LOT of it has to do with the 'hip-hop' persona of todays media. When all of these "celebrities" are getting married and divorced constantly, or they talk about using all the women in their music-the message they are sending is that love is nothing. It is a word of con, something you use to get to someone.
Now. If we were to get rid of everyone that just plays others, other than being almost a non-existent country, you would find guys like mine-guys who are traditional, you don't use the word love until you are 100% sure you mean it. They still open doors for the ladies, they are polite and act like gentlemen. They take into account your feelings for things, they know what you like and want, ...it goes on.
A lot of it as well--consider the seriousness of the relationship. I don't know how old you are--but a LOT of teens today (as in-MOST), don't know what on earth a serious relationship is. "omgsh i love you!" then 2 weeks later "who are you again?" It is sad and diminishing the real existence and meaning of a relationship.
Most teens have also had too MANY relationships. They "fall in love" faster each time. While I admit I probably could be included in that group, I'm better about it than most people I know. A lot of girls I know date boys and "totally love them" and within a couple weeks, it's done and they "totally love" someone completely different. I like to think that I at least know what a relationship is--not just someone to go to the movies with on Friday night and make out with. People don't seem to understand commitment and, well, understanding. I don't know. I'm young, I'm still learning.
I don't consider that a REAL relationship. When they are just "together" for a week or two. A relationship is something that takes place over time, something that has built trust and meaning, something that lasts.
Yeah, I realized I worded that wrong after I posted. I didn't mean relationship relationships [very descriptive... sorry, I'm sleepy], but just how many teens view relationships.
I don't know if I make sense.
lol-well that time it did.
Perhaps it's because im about to fall asleep too :p
a lot of hip hop perpetuates this lifestyle that centers around getting as many "hoes" and as much money as possible, but then if u look at these artists actual lives, they have wives and kids. i dont think we can completely blame hip hop for this problem because much of rap about is made-up. its stuff that they wish they could do, u kno? now the whole pop culture with people getting married and divorced every other day--jennifer lopez a few years ago, for instance--is definitely a factor. celebrities become infatuated with some new person for a while, then when the novelty wears off, they move on to the next person.
also, i think a lot of it is, as u said, that teenagers dont know what a relationship is, or they dont take relationships seriously. how can u say u love someone and spread ur legs for them after two weeks, and then say u hate that same person a month later? that irritates me about a lot of girls at my school. this is not to say that every teenager has to be in some committed relationship because i know that a lot of teens arent ready for that, but if they cant handle a real relationship, i dont think they should be so quick to say "i love u" or to sleep with the person.
BUT
think of the people we are talking about--teenagers that are blind, teenagers that think love is something that happens every day. They don't look beyond the face of the music or tv, they don't care what the music 'artist' does in real life, if they have a wife and kids or not. They see them on tv with all their "bling" and all their "hoes" and that is what they see. No more, no less. So they think it is cool to be just that.
Are you fucking kidding me???
"When all of these 'celebrities' are getting married and divorced constantly..."
When was the last time this directly applied to someone in the hip hop industry?
Please, go somewhere with that. Saying the media is one thing, saying 'celebrity culture' is one thing. But to put it all on hip hop, and then use something that doesn't even apply? That only shows how much you are full of bullshit.
The respect amongst sexes has diminished over the years. Men disrespect women and in turn women disrespect men. People in todays world do not know the meaning of commitment and are rather self centered. They forgot that a relationship is for two and not for ones self enjoyment. You should read the article I wrote called "What ever happened?". It addresses this issue and some others that I've noticed lately.
Action speaks louder than words. If you love really love someone, you don't even have to tell him/her those exact words and he/she will know.
I think the media is part of the blame on why love is being thrown around carelessly. It's all about physical pleasures now. Young people think that "being in love" can be shown through massive make-out sessions or having sex with someone constantly (which can be seen in TV dramas). And then the relationship falls out. What's missing is that deep emotional connection. The idea of love these days is that it's not going to be permanent and it's more in the now. Just look at the divorce rate in America. 50%? Appauling.
Of course when talking about friends and family, saying "I love you!" is fine as long as it's meant. I've seen people who say "I love you" to their parents when they get something, and when they don't get what they want, instantly the love becomes hate. And that's a problem. This whole materialism can somewhat be tied into the constant makings and breakings of relationships, especially amongst teenagers. I think in areas where teenagers are most materialistic/have money to throw away (I might be making too general of a statement, but that's what I've observed so don't bash me if I'm wrong) is where a lot of relationships are made and couples say "I love you" when it's not exactly 100%/forever.
These days it seems like the idea of commitment is disappearing. Don't like what you have? Great, you can replace it with another. It goes for products as well as relationships. It's really sad that it's coming to a stage like this.
Sounds like I found this blog a little late! Everybody is totally right! It is terrible how naive teenagers are these days. To be honest, I've been given the "run-around" by just one guy, and that was all it took for me to totally back away from relationships. To be honest I say that the guys these days get the better end of the deal. They can go around sweet-talking girls (which is the most effective way to get to a girl...through her emotions), then getting involved with them, then claiming that girl as a trophy or a "score" to all their buddies. While a guy is applauded for his promiscuity, women are called "hoes" or "sluts". Although the action in and of itself is terrible, we should all have a level playing field.
Personnally, I believe that every person has one TRUE love in life. So I am not going to say that I love him until I know that it is FOREVER!
i know that its hard to deal with these fake guys out here, but i dont think u should give up on relationships altogether. i think its good to take a break every now and then though. like i dont plan on getting involved in any serious relationships this year so i can just concentrate on school and getting into college. ur definitely rite about the double standard between guys and girls. i see plenty of guys who go around sleeping with anything walking and having relationships with multiple people, but its okay. then if a girl has sex with more than one person or even tries to do the player thing, she's a hoe. a lot of people make false assumptions about girls just because they have a lot of male friends (i am one of those girls) but then again i know a lot of girls bring that reputation on themselves. there are too many girls at my school who give oral sex like its candy or something. its like just because its not intercourse doesnt mean its not sex. i couldnt do that.
My mom and dad have been married for 23 years. They dated for only 6 weeks before they eloped and my dad left for boot camp. Both of my parents dated a lot of different people. My mom calls them, "stepping stones" to her prince. My mom knew what she wanted from a guy and she knew how she wanted to be treated. Before she met my dad, she had NEVER said the words."I love you" to anyone she dated (or even her family members). She knew he was the one. My dad dated a lot too. He was engaged for 2 years before he met my mom. When he met my mom (about 6 months before they dated) he knew she was the one.
They are still very much in love. I can see it in there eyes when they look at each other.
My mom told my sister and I when we were 16 and able to date, that we were to make a list of what we wanted in a boyfriend and a list of dating rules (ex. I will date noone more than 2 years older than me, I will not date anyone more than 1 year younger than me, etc)
This has helped alot in dating and when meeting guys.
I know someday (and I am not in a hurry) I will find my prince too.
I, like my mom, will wait to say the words, "I love you" until I know I am trully in love and ready to give my heart.
The word love has so many different meanings to so many people that I think children just grow up not understanding the weight of the different meanings. I mean, between "mommy loves daddy" "love thy parents/neighbors" "I LOVE those shoes" etc etc I just don't think the message is set in early enough the divisions between the loves. Adults throw around the word and now teens don't know the proper context of it.
Saying that, the word when used properly does hold its full meaning. Believe or not, I love my boyfriend, dearly, and we say it to each other all the time and we knew we loved each other very early in our relationship. I don't agree that if you really love each other you should never have to say it because I believe two people who truly love each other should never get tired of hearing it. Of course, even if I didn't say it I would know my boyfriend would have no doubt that I still love him. That is why our relationship is so secure.
Luckily, for the most part it is very easy to tell when someone really means I love you. Unfortunately, usually the two people saying it are the oblivious ones.
~BLee
Love is more than just an everyday word.....It's passion and respect for one another. Friendship that last for an eternity. Most people who uses this word freely don't understand or to ignorant. Mostly it's teens and young adults trying to figure this love thing out...And it does not matter who they hurt or betray because they don't have a clue about it themselves. For someone to be in love and to love.... it's work! It's not a happy day walking through a wonderful park!! Please that's ignorance in it's self! You've got to fight to keep it right....In your friends heart...she knows. She knows he is not for her! You know I'm a ferm believer that we choose how our path of life will end up....If she respected herself and how she wants to be treated...than that realationship was long gone along time ago. I'm not trying to be hard...I know this because I have been there. I don't care if this is the 2000s...Women needs to be treated with respect and dignity! If she gets that she'll put him there also! It's a mutual loving agreement between two people...If one side is not on the same page than get rid of him or her. Lifes too short and complicated to add this kind of stress on to us!! She'll find her true love....but she needs to fix herself worth and self esteem first....Before she ventures down that road...Or it'll be an aweful circle she had created!