Idon't seem to understand alot these days maybe because a whole new world is being opened up to me as I'm growing up. I don't understand why when someone says yes I'm a virgin people look at them weird especially when its a guy. What I don't understand more is when a girl gets pregnant at a young age she is looked at as a slut a whore or even a prostitute but the guy is looked at as a hero with his friends. Girls take the brunt of the blame but guys get respect it doesn't make sense. With this being said wouldn't it make more sense to remain a virgin? In my mind it would. No repsect would be lost from peers because theres no possibility but some may argue sex = love and love = sex which isn't true you can love someone and not have sex. In the world today all the media tells teens everyone is having sex but heres a newsflash its not true there are more teens not having sex for whatever reason than those having sex. For all the girls out there something I have learned is a guy would rather marry someone who has remained pure and abstained from having sex than someone who has slept around. It's like buying a car to them they would rather have something brand new than something used and abused. I'm not claiming to know everything on this topic because I don't but I'm passing on what I do know and that is there are other ways to show love than having sex, you don't gain anything from sleeping around besides people thinking your a slut, and for the guys ypur just sick if you think sleeping around makes you more of a man.
so what's with being a virgin
By cee3519 - Posted on February 27th, 2008
Despite the lack of proper capitolization. I completley agree.
I wish more people thought like you do. I think their are a lot more reasons to remain a virgin than just peer's opinions and marriage. It's self-respect and trusting your loved one to love you without any conditions or physical satisfaction in return. Imagine a relationship like that!
Good thoughts, keep it up!
luv, Monica
I wholeheartedly agree, though in my below statement I address marriage as my primary reason for wishing to remain abstinent, but I totally agree that self-respect and the ability to trust someone unconditionally is critical. I believe that if you are in a relationship with someone who continually presses you to have sex, that is not a good relationship. The mark of a good relationship, or at least the potential for a good relationship, seems to me to be (and, mind you, as I note below, I've yet to have one of my own), is the ability to tell your partner that you're not ready to have sex and for that person to accept it for what it is and, even better, support you in that decision. Otherwise, if he (or she, even) continually presses to have sex or attempts to make something happen, then that person's motives are suspect and the relationship should be reconsidered.
"Government is not the solution to our problems; government is the problem. - Ronald Reagan
I have yet to have a girlfriend, but I entirely agree with you (though I might recommend that you try to be more structured with your writing in the future, as that was somewhat difficult to follow) on all counts. I have made a pledge to myself to remain a virgin until I'm married - and I'm a guy. It disturbs me to no end when I overhear conversations at school about students having sex and whatnot, and also when I hear guys discussing subjects in which sex is treated as something, yes, manly or as though "scoring" is a big deal.
I have no interest in having sex and I have never had any interest in or desire to have sex. Will I when I get married? Most certainly, but I have no intention of doing so before then. But aside from the lack of interest in doing it, I want to be able to say to my eventual wife, "I loved you so much before I even met you that I waited, that I waited for you and only you to share this special moment with."
I don't see why such importance is placed on having sex amongst teenagers and I just hate it when someone degrades either the concept of remaining abstinent or someone for remaining abstinent or wanting to remain abstinent. Such dialogue irritates me to no end.
But what irritates me even more is the disturbing fact that sex is treated as such a casual thing in our culture when it is not. Sex is, in my judgment, an act that God put on this earth for a reason, something which represents the pinnacle expression of true love, but love in the form of a partnership. The two people are given him and herself to each other in full, and once it's done, there's no going back; you shared a part of your most personal self with that person, and you've left a mark that will never go away. There is nothing further from a casual act than sex, and the mere fact that people not only do it and talk about it is nothing just irritates the heck out of me.
I do disagree with the double standard that girls face regarding sex as well, as I believe it to be unjust for guys to be thought of as "cool" and girls to be thought of as "sluts" in such an instance as you described. Also, no one should feel as though they have to have sex in order to be accepted. Society bombards us with sex and sexual themes, and the extent to which they go is disturbing, to say the least.
Anyway, that's my take. I have the utmost respect for people who are in a relationship and intend to wait, at least for several months or a year if not until marriage.
"Government is not the solution to our problems; government is the problem. - Ronald Reagan
I think sex is a personal desion and people should worry about what others think about if they chose to have sex or chose not to. I think there is a definate stigma on both ends, when really people should just do what they want to do (safely).
I agree with you, but I think you could have expanded your blogs more. For instance, do you actually have a source saying there are more teens not having sex than there are teens that are having sex? Also, capitalization can be a person's best friend.
Stormy
People should be ready, both physically and emotionally, for that type of relationship.
Seriously, I think the way that sex is looked upon by teens is flawed. It shouldn't be about "scoring" or "hooking up", it should be about true feelings and be done when actually ready. Maybe I'm old fashioned.
As Simon Cowell might say: I like you, but I didn't like your choice of song.
I like you because I absolutely understand where you are coming from. I grew up in an ultrafundamentalist Baptist house where virginity until my mid-thirties was flatly NOT a choice I made for myself but rahter an oath that was practically forced on me at gunpoint! Not that I wouldn't have chosen to "wait"--I wanted to be a good Christian, and that's what God wants good Christians to do. (I swore I woudn't get married until I finished with Navy/grad school/everything else interesting, so I was looking at a LOOOONG time before I would be allowed sexual privileges!)
I wish I could explain to you the long process that I went through that changed my mind, but you and everyone else would get bored. The reasons are all tied up with my devout feminism (I have been feminist, knowingly or not, since I was a very little girl) and my desire to make sure that I married the right guy because I LOVED him and because he would treat me well--not because I was sexually attracted to him. (I agree completely that sex and love have little to do with each other! If it were true, then my hubby and I would be having WAY more sex!) My conversion away from the "Love waits" camp, in short, was not because I simply couldn't control my hormones or I lost my morality or anything--it was a carefully-reasoned, adult decision. Teen pregnancy, as you pointed out, is usually an unfortunate situation for all involved (except the boy), but I believe that superstitious prohibitions on what is allowed may actually exacerbate the frequency with which this occurs. Better to carefully evaluate your own reasons for your actions and them behave responsibly when you do choose to have sex. Does that make sense at all?
In any case, I have respect for you and your position because I understand why you believe what you do. I just wanted to offer you the opportunity to evaluate those who espouse another perspective.
I think you are so right, you keep it up. Man I know your future wife will be so proud of you. :) wooooohhooooooooo. And I think that Guys are looked like they are from another planet in our society because of the media that is stating that this is how you show your manlyness. By taking advangtage of a girl and her most precious gift. That that is all there is to life. Have sex and be merry. Which is so augh.