Usually take an afternoon nap from 12:00 to dinner time just because I have nothing to do. But recently I have noticed something very strange about waking up from these naps. About 75% of the time when I wake up I am in a complete panic; cold sweats, breathing hard, paranoia, completely scared of everything.
This just happened: I was awoken by my mom who told me it was dinner time. I found my glasses and started for the stairs. As I was walking down, I noticed the cold sweats and the fact that I was terrified. “Dinner? Right Now? You don’t even have a job? Go out right now and find a job!? You are so lazy! How come your parents do not care anymore? They used to force your brother to find a job but not you? What the hell are they up to?”
Now I’m in the kitchen. A plate of chicken sits on the stove. I take my seat and start eating some corn because that is all I can eat right now.
“Not hungry?”
“No mom, not really”
“Tired?”
“Yeah, mom”
“Oh”
The sweat cools. “Alright, ok, just calm down and eat something. I’m not hungry, ok well just act nice. Ok, ok.” My heart is still racing. I’m still completely shocked about not being employed and the fear of summer boredom is still riding high. “Think damn it, think! Make a list in your head right now of all the places you have not looked for work… there are none!” “Fuck”
My mom continues to bug me about food; I do my best to not piss off my dad. FAILED.
Ok, I’m feeling a little better. I don’t know why I wake up freaking out about that stuff but I do. I tried telling my parents about but they don’t seem to care. The last thing I want is to start bugging my folks with any possible mental health problems. I just gotta breath and not let it bother me so much.
Feeling better…
If you can't talk to your parents about it, can you schedule a doctor's appointment and talk to someone there about it? Do you have a physical coming up any time soon? They are only bothering you when you wake up right now, but if it is in fact an anxiety disorder developing, they could start blind siding you when you don't expect it, like while driving or at some equally inopportune time.
Definitely see a doctor if it continues. Who knows what could be causing it?
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman