Here's the headline of an article I just came across today. Prepare yourself...
"Where's Poppa? Absent dads linked to early sex by daughters"
(And that's just the headline--go here for the full article: http://www.sciencenews.org/articles/20030719/fob2.asp).
First of all, this is just downright repulsive—it is ultimately disrespectful and unfeeling towards girls who have no control over such occurrences within their family—whether it be divorce, the death or disappearance of their father at a young age—these are painful things to deal with, and then you throw insensitive remarks like this into the mix!—It’s simply unacceptable. But it’s the news—what can you expect? When will they rise above such ignorance?--We can only pray the answer is SOON...
Seriously?! How over generalizing and all-encompassingly stereotypical can you BE?!
Also, on Fathers.com, “The National Center for Fathering”, they have a whole section dedicated to the “Consequences of Fatherlessness,” which begins with the statement:
“Some fathering advocates would say that almost every social ill faced by America's children is related to fatherlessness.” WOW. So basically families who don’t embrace and adhere to the all-American statistic of 1 father, 1 mother, and 2.4 children are creating all of the social problems in this country? Ok then….let’s just move on…I don’t even know how to respond to that…
From the same site: “As supported by the data below, children from fatherless homes are more likely to be poor, become involved in drug and alcohol abuse, drop out of school, and suffer from health and emotional problems. Boys are more likely to become involved in crime, and girls are more likely to become pregnant as teens.”
If you would like to review their “data,” here’s the site: http://www.fathers.com/content/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id...
Just a bunch of inconclusive statistics if you ask me—they prove nothing, as they generalize and manipulate information—it’s bogus manipulation. But these people still love to use them to back up their claims…Are we not above this over generalizing thing yet?! I believe it translates into stereotyping, which eventually leads to prejudice, then maybe blatant racism, and I SERIOUSLY HOPE these are all things looked down upon in this country.
Statistics are dangerous because people believe they are a valid source of information regarding society and human behaviors, when really it all comes down to the individual.
They also give the individual a sense that they are an "interloper" in society because they fall under an "unsavory" category such as this one.
For example, check out this chart (http://www.fathers.com/content/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id...) under the subheading CRIME, and how they formatted it, broke the information down, and displayed it in a way to prove the point that: “older boys and girls from female headed households are more likely to commit criminal acts than their peers who lived with two parents.”
Is this even a logical way to represent data that has probably been botched through inconclusive trials?
If this is what the public is reading, if this is how society views children who grow up fatherless—condescendingly and pitying because they are OBVIOUSLY going down the path to drug abuse, criminal acts, and teen pregnancy—then something needs to change. I know for a fact that this holds no ground in mine and many of my friends’ lives, and that they would be appalled to hear that we are essentially broken pieces of society, not whole because we did not grow up with that fatherly figure that every American household should have.
Back to the “fatherless girl issue,” you can find a countless number of articles that claim nonsense such as this, if you please (Once again, the over generalization is quite nauseating): [From various news sites]
“The gist of the study of 173 girls and their families is that girls who have a close, positive family relationship in their first five years -- especially with their fathers -- enter puberty later in life. Specifically, the researchers found that girls reaching puberty later had fathers who were active caregivers and had positive relationships with the mothers.”
“We've learned that girls who grow up without fathers tend to become sexually active at earlier ages, that girls without fathers tend to look for male approval in intimate relationships before they're emotionally ready.”
“For girls, [growing up fatherless] can be associated with early sexual experience, difficulty in developing intimate relationships with men, and more problematic adolescence.”
“Teenage girls in the United States and New Zealand show a particularly strong tendency to engage in sexual activity and to get pregnant if they grew up in families without a father present, a new long-term study finds.”
To sum this craziness up, I think I would like to leave it to an anonymous, wise being who provided an answer to a question on the the self-help section of the following website:
http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2006/10/02/no_father/
Q: I had no father -- will I always feel I need a man?
“I have read that girls who grow up without a father will grow up seeking males and becoming very attached to them very quickly.”
A: “…there is no simple answer for you. This is how you grew up. You have the right to seek happiness, to live with your fear, to dream of what your life might have been but to recognize what your life actually is. You have the right to choose, yourself, whether you have a man in your life. You have the right to live with [or without] your fears as they are.”
People are affected by their surroundings—thank you to all of the amazing “studies” that have pointed that out—but that DOES NOT mean that if you are growing up without a father in your household that you are in any way less-than-whole, troubled, doomed, or inferior to anyone else. You dictate who you are as a person, and NEVER let anyone judge you because you deviatre from the “norm.”
And if you really want to fit in, have 2.4 kids when you grow up.
