PRIDE: An excessive belief in one's own abilities. Also considered Vanity.
Considering I am such a successful and important person, I figured it was my duty as such a wonderful blogger to give you, my readers, a thorough guide to The 7 Deadly Sins. But those are archaic you say? They do not apply to today's society you say? That is why you need the help of such a successful, important and wonderful blogger. And that is why I am writing for you, my loyal readers, The Heathen's Guide to series.
Not a Heathen? Well this guide is just as useful for you to seek out those Heathens who need a guide to their own heathen ways. And coming up next will be another seven part series just for you Virtuous type.
As you should know because of my awesomeness, I am a member of Generation Me (also known as those born mainly in the 1980s). Are you a member too? It is not hard to spot one. They are the ones with a mirror in their hand and a star on their door. There is no avoiding it, if you were born GenMe you are cursed with the sin of Pride.
Wait? Do I hear whining? I was born within those years but I'm not prideful! Ah yes. I'm afraid you were too busy plucking your eyebrows to pick up that newspaper. But that would assume only one newspaper was calling you prideful, when in fact LOTS of newspaper were out shattering your good face. Why didn't we stand up and fight back? That's right, we were to busy picking out those perfect shoes to go with that perfect blouse, that will look fantastic with those new pre-torn jeans we bought last week.
Apparently, those once innocent children songs our pre-school teachers had us repeat were there to turn us into narcissistic brats. Songs like "I am special, I am special. Look at me" have cursed our generation to be singing in hell someday. But at least we will look good while we are there.
And now that we are old enough to be thrown into the work place the situation has only become more trying for our elders. Just look around, why wouldn't our generation disappoint them. According to them we disappoint when it comes to spelling, grammar, and knowledge on acceptable corporate behavior. But how could they expect us to have learned all that when we were learning "I am special, I am special. Look at me"?
At least we are destined for greater things than having those old farts telling us what we can do. Why should we waste our time at the bottom of the totem pole when everyone knows we are going to be rich and famous. It doesn't matter that the economy can not necessarily support an entire generation of rich people, we didn't really pay attention in economics anyways. What is important is that we paid attention during The Apprentice and that taught us all we need to know.
But how did an entire generation end up cursed with the first of the seven deadly sins? Was it those pre-school teachers infusing pride at an early age or all those magazines and reality TV shows that make it seem easy? What about those old farts that find us such big disappointments? As the old saying goes "If you think it, you will become it". It is the job of the elders to blame all the problems on us and it our job to make it who we are.
So here I stand before you, checking my make up, hair and shopping online for designer goods to let you know just how awesome, wonderful, successful and important I am.
Next up...ENVY
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You must teach it to those of us who lack self-esteem. I find that during the rare times when I dare be a wee bit prideful and special and generally awesome, I'm far happier. What a lovely skill to have.
I don't know, pre torn jeans are pretty cool. What are you talking about? I find my entire generation to be the most humble people alive. Look at celebrities, they give a million dollars to charity and spend 9 million on a 20 bedroom house for one....thats humility in a nut shell.