Lawyers.
The court system in general has been in rampant disrepair since the first cave man brought charges to his cave neighbor for encroaching on his fire rights. Which subsequently lead to one bashing the other's head in, the rape of the dead man's woman and the eating of the children. Oh, how I miss the good old days.
Given a poll today, I think you would find lawyers to be the most hated group of people in the world, followed by terrorists and Simon Cowell. Even Shakespeare wrote, “The first thing we do, is kill all the lawyers.” The way things seem to be running, there is a giant conspiracy to kill them through over work.
There are exceptions to which being a lawyer can be a right an honorable position. Being a Prosecuting attorney for the state, or providing defense for those who can’t afford it, or as a prime time television star putting all of New Yorks fake criminals where they belong...fan fiction land. Oh Law and Order, how you teach us nothing about the American legal system yet still compel me to vote for Fred Thompson’s cartoonishly hound dog shaped head. But these are not the whores for hire I speak of. No - the litigation junkies I speak of are the reason the yellow pages were created. These subhuman rats who are “here to work for YOU,” wouldn’t know what honest living was if it sued them. Their only purpose in life is to make money off of your grievances, problems, and incessant bitching.
Someone get a promotion over you? Did someone make an inappropriate comment 100 yards from your field of hearing? Don’t like your neighbors Christmas decorations…because your Jewish? Is social security not …securing you...socially? Then it's time to call your friends at Incubus, Douchbag, and Goldstein.
Look I could sit here for hours and lay down case after case in defense of my mindless babbling, but there’s a Girls Gone Wild commercial on and, well, my will isn’t that strong. So ill give you one that was brought to my attention today by my good friend Fanaile Essence.
In the kind of self destruction that would make any conservative giggle like a gay dude getting butt tickled, neighbor eco-warriors have found themselves battling each other over who’s the better world saver. What are the front lines of this eco war you ask? California, where those who pretend to matter flock. One side grows Redwood trees in their back yard; the other has energy panels on their roof. The solar revolution is complaining that the trees their neighbors so love to hug are blocking the sun from hitting their energy panels. In addition to that they claim that their solar panels help remove more carbon dioxide from being emitted than their neighbor's eight redwood trees. The end truly is near.
Listen folks, I think you’re getting my point. Litigation is bad, lawyers are evil, and Simon Cowell is a terrorist fit for Law and Order. But I think today’s real lesson is this… Eco-warriors are hypocrites.
Of course that’s just my opinion, I could be wrong.
Someone get a promotion over you? Did someone make an inappropriate comment 100 yards from your field of hearing? Don’t like your neighbors Christmas decorations…because your Jewish? Is social security not …securing you...socially? Then it's time to call your friends at Incubus, Douchbag, and Goldstein.
rofl
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"when you have nothing else to say, "Fwonk" is always the perfect thing."
"yeah well, fwonk"
--Devon
Fanaile Essence
Two words:
FUCK YEAH!
rofl
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"One of the things that draws writers to writing, is that they can get things right that they got wrong in real life, by writing about them"
~ Tobias Wolffe
Hilarious stuff man.
Lawyers......what to say.....many of them certainly need at least a kick in the butt. There are ones actually fighting for real change though, right?
www.progressiveu.org/blog/americangirlinchina
Good writing, my friend. However I can't pass up voicing a few thoughts about yer reference of eco-warriors doing battle with kin.
There was a story recently in Montana which had the newspapers screaming 'shock and awe' like you seem to be doing. A wilderness group pitted itself against windmill development groups who planned to build a windfarm, because the windy-sailed folk wanted just that: to establish permanent man-made development in the wilderness.
Obviously the Wilderness Act does not allow such machinery in designated wildernesses. So what would you and the newspaper men have the two sides do? Settle this outside of court?
Uh... I don't think so... not when our wildlands are threatened. The preservation of the wilderness is upheld by our system. I think that's a pretty gosh darn good thing.
Every organism's heartbeat holds a universe of beauty at http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/green-underbelly
what your talking about is a large group vs. another large group with a law specifically designed to defend wilderness. the creation of large wind farms and the tearing down of acres of trees is going to be more worthy of its day in court than a neighbors complaint about sunlight rights.
BUT, your story from Montana in my opinion does still ring silly. for the simple fact that you still have environmentalists fighting to see who's the better world saver :)
When you take that bus, you get there.
http://www.myspace.com/ohamleto
Sure there's some of that going on and, in yer example you have the issue of property rights and where does my right to prop up a windmill encroach upon yer right to sun, and whatnot.
But I submit to you that my example does not have competing sides pitted against each other for the sole purpose of establishing a more constructive "world saver."
Perhaps if you looked at the case under a broad lense and said, being a good steward of designated wildland and propagating the Wilderness act is actually saving the world. I might agree with you there...
Every organism's heartbeat holds a universe of beauty at http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/green-underbelly