Here I sit, again, watching my gpa crumble and all my dreams come falling down. and the worst part is... i know it's my fault. Nobody else can be blamed for this. It was all my own selfishness and laziness and inexplicable ability to find reasons to procrastinate. I would like some sympathy, but i know i dont deserve it. another chance would be nice, but i know that ive used up all my chances. really, i would just like to run away, far away, and never have to think about this again. but that isnt going to happen, and that wont solve anything. why cant i ever do this right. why cant i be like most people and just do this. i have no desire to do anything anymore. i dont want to do this lovely thing called school. i feel so drained all the time, like nothing really matters anymore. i hate this feeling but i dont know how to get rid of it. i dont know how to feel better. i dont know how to make myself want these things that ive wanted all my life. confused and alone, i could blame the new settings, but that's not fair. this would've happened at home too, i cant talk to anyone there. i feel selfish, but im to tired to take the blame. what is this horrible new feeling, and why cant i get back to my old self.
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I know just how you feel. My question to you is: are you involved in any extra-curricular activities? In my experience, extra-curricular activities and getting involved in your school and your community can force you to prioritize and stop procrastinating on the important things. It also helps if your family takes an interest in how you are progressing and takes an active role in keeping you on track.
If you feel your grades are falling, try joining a study group. They help students focus on the curricula AND offer new social opportunities.
Other than that, i don't know what to tell you. They say that admitting you have a problem is the first step to correcting a bad behavior, and seeking help and advice can speed up the process.