Eighteen

What it is to turn 18. Rumor has it that turning 18 is nothing short of "awesome."
To be 18, means its okay for you to put your life on the line and sign up for the marines. Now you can legally have sex with someone who is 35 years old. It means you can buy that pack of marlboro menthols you've been craving viciously for the last three and half months.

To me, to be eighteen means all of that. Okay, maybe I do not want to smoke cigarettes, and I most certainly do not wish to have sex with someone 35 years of age or older, and because of a deep fear I have of dying that often lingers in the back of my mind, I definetly do not want to go to the marines...But still, being 18 is so awesome.

Sure, being 18, big deal, right? I meant it's only one year away from being 19 and now you're only one year older than you were the previous day. From an onlooker's point of view it means nothing, but to the person it's everything.

When you're 17 years old, sometimes it can be one of the worst feelings in the world. Being an extremely young senior i found myself wanting to crawl up in a ball and hide when another one of my friends' birthdays rolled around. How happy I was to see another person become the legal age of adulthood... Not.

While job hunting one day, I must have applied at 12 different stores, when I realized that three of those stories only hired kids below the age of 18. At that point in my life, I was craving independence and what else would I do to show the world how much of an adult i was then get a job at a popular retail store.I wanted to show everyone how mature I was and how awesome it was to be an adult, when I really wasn't. The day I got a call back from a job interview at one of my favorite stores Jimmy'Z was the most bittersweet thing I has experienced in a while.

"May I please speak to Emily?" A high pitched voice said at the other end of the line.
"this is her," I mumbled.
"Well Emily, this is Melissa from Jimmy'z and I had a question to ask you."
"Okay," I said surprised, "What's up?"
"Well it was great meeting you the other day but I was just wondering how old you were, the box on the application was blank."
"I'm 17."
"Oh well that's too bad, i really enjoyed your interview, but we can't hire you because you're not 18."
"Um okay. That's fine, sorry."
"thanks for talking to me Emily, no need to apologize."

At that moment I realized that in my attempt to declare independence through getting a job I had failed miserably. I couldn't believe what was happening! It was to supposed to be "The Emancipation of Emily," the best day of my life! It was supposed to be nothing short of marriage!

There seemed to be so much that was out of reach for me because of my age. it was something that was entirely not my fault, and yet I felt so bad.

"MOM! Why couldn't you have just kept me back a year, then I'd be the oldest!!"
"Em, stop complaining."

That's what she always said, and every single time it dug deeper and deeper into my skin.

I was sick of being left out because I was only a measely 17 years olf. you know it felt better to be 16 then to be 17, how sad was that?

I was 100 percent fed up hearing about Obamacans and Ann Coulter's hatred for John McCain, and the only reason for that was because i was not allowed to have a part of it. I wanted to have a part. I wanted to vote, vote and vote some more.

You know what, maybe I did want to smoke that cigarette and shove it in the world's face. Okay, maybe not, but as an 18 year old it would be MY right.

Three days ago it dawned upon me. I was young and needed to embrace it. just because I wasnt 18 now, didn't mean I never would be. I'd be 18 in apporximately five months. it may seem like half a life time, but in reality that's all it was, five short months.

I finally realized how dumb I had been all along. being 18 is not that big of a deal. I decided that day that I was no longer going to count down the days and minutes until i was 18, I was going to live my life as a young and amazing 17 year old.

Maybe I couldn't vote and I couldn't get that job at Jimmy'z I had wanted for so long, but that was okay. Because when I turned 18 and was able to do all the things I've wated to do for the last year, it will be that much sweeter. Plus, when all my friends are 40, I'll only be 39. :-)