First of all, let me start off this blog saying that I have at times struggled with some form of depression. I think that most people do. This blog may be offensive to anyone who is officially diagnosed, so I would like to warn you before you read it. Also, I do not necessarily believe in this idea, it was just a question posed to me by a youth leader at my church (who also is not sure that he agrees with it).
So, here is the question I want to ask you: Is depression a selfish feeling?
Here are a couple definitions:
de·pres·sion P Pronunciation Key (d-prshn)
n.
- The condition of being depressed.
- The condition of feeling sad or despondent.
- Psychology. A psychiatric disorder characterized by an inability to concentrate, insomnia, loss of appetite, anhedonia, feelings of extreme sadness, guilt, helplessness and hopelessness, and thoughts of death. Also called clinical depression.
- A reduction in activity or force.
- A reduction in physiological vigor or activity: a depression in respiration.
- A lowering in amount, degree, or position.
self·ish P Pronunciation Key (slfsh)
adj.
()
- Concerned chiefly or only with oneself: “Selfish men were... trying to make capital for themselves out of the sacred cause of human rights” (Maria Weston Chapman).
- stinginess resulting from a concern for your own welfare and a disregard of others
I deleted a few parts of the depression one that did not have to do with the emotion. Now I am going to state things as if they are facts, but please do not take them that way... this is just a possible statement.
People who are depressed (sad, despondent) are concerned mainly about themselves. They think that they have a horrible life, or that nobody cares. There is little they can see that is good. However, if they were to look around, there is much that they can see that is worse than their situation. There is always someone worse off than yourself, and someone better. Perhaps, the people who are depressed need to stop looking at "poor them" and look at the people who are worse off than themselves.
People who are depressed are concerned for their own welfare. They think they deserve something better than what they have. Saying they are depressed, and acting that way, will draw attention to them. If they act like no one cares and they have nothing to live for, people will start paying attention and trying to help. They don't care about the people who have to devote time to them, all they care about is getting what they want.
Now, as I said before, I know that depression is a serious thing. There are people who are diagnosed with depression, and I am not trying to say that they should not be. I thought this was an interesting view point brought up by one of the youth assistants, and I wanted to see what other people thought.
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Well now that you put it that way, I agree with some parts. I think that the person is so absorved in how bad they are, that they don't think that they are good enough to be with people.
I agree.
I struggled with pretty severe depression starting before 4th grade and ending... in the middle of 11th grade? Sometime like that. And I believe that depression is not always a selfish thing.
My depression always stemmed from other people and from the Bible. There would be nights when I was younger that I stayed up all night wishing I, like Jesus, could die to save humanity. I wanted to do something to help everyone, and I was depressed that I was so young and so helpless that I couldn't help anyone... not even myself.
When people didn't like me, I always assumed it was because I wasn't being kind enough or helpful enough... that I was doing something wrong. I wanted people to like me because it showed me I was doing something to help them - after all, that's what friends do, right?
But other people who are depressed (and especially people who pretend to be depressed) can be depressed because of selfishness. It's true. And I can agree with a statement that declares depression to be selfish... but only if it's conditional. Sometimes, yes. Sometimes, no.
I think depression can be selfish- but don't we call that Emo now? =D there's a big difference between clinically diagnosed depression that stems from mental imbalances in hormones and just plain feeling sorry for yourself 24/7.
I am diagnosed with deppression. Bi Poalr is the form. I don't take offense to anything you say. Deppression is a very selfish thing. I am only focused on myself and how i feel rather than how i am making others feel. however, its not the same selfishness as when a child wants to eat three cupcakes and only give his friend one. I am blinded to the3 selfishness. peopl with dep. dont realize they are being selfish. In fact, during severe cases, like myself, one feels that if he or she ends his life, then he or she is actually helping the people around them , in point, not being selfish. Its very confusing. Basically, people with depression are going through a really rough time. Yes they are being selfish but dont give them a hard time about it. they wont understand. Its kind of like telling a baby boy not to pee on you when you are changing his diapers. he wont understand.
I suppose depression can be a bit selfish, but as the previous poster said, it certainly as if those suffering from depression enjoy it. I think that rather than criticizing, it's important to be helpful and understanding.
Thank you so much for sharing your view on this. I do not know many people who are diagnosed as depressed, so it is good to hear what someone who is thinks about this.
~Keri~
It's not that simple, and not necessarily selfish at all. There can be many causes but its prevelence in the West may well show that we are not responding well to a society that is more and more isolationist, where the community and social fabric have often been severely eroded for many. Coupled with this many work more hours than is ideal for the body, and burnout can often occur as a result of our efforts either to succeed or simply to get by. I do believe that there are often many parameters that coincide over a short period that can lead to a depressive episode, such as bereavement, loss of job and security, break up of relationship, physical or sexual abuse, being caught up in violence or war especially if they occur in a short period. To call a person who is diagnosed with depression following a combination of events such as these does not necessarily make them selfish. We are not robots. Even animals in a zoo lose their marbles when they don't have enough space. Just because someone else is worse off, doesn't necessarily mean we progress through every day with endless glee. Have you never been annoyed or angry? Surely someone else has more reason to be angry than you too...there is no difference.
While I agree that depression is more complicated that simple selfishness, I do not think that what you are talking about is really depression. Being annoyed or angry is not the same thing as believing you have no reason to live or that no one cares. When we get busy, we get stressed, this is true, but stress does not automatically cause depression. I am always very stressed, yet I can be happy. Our busy lives can help cause depression, but they are not the sole cause.
~Keri~
This is extremely disrespectful to people who have depression. Having experience with being sad and lonely some of the time is not enough to be able to speak as if you know what it is like to be truly depressed. The attitudes expressed in this post are exactly the type that have led to the ongoing stigma associated with all types of mental illness--that the are, as you say, selfish, or lazy, or exaggerating, or need to "snap out of it"--and this stigma needs to stop. It is not as simple as it sounds to stop being depressed. When you are actually depressed you cannot just look around and see how worse others have it, and it doesn't matter how muh love or support you have. True clinical depression is a chemical imbalance, and it makes it impossible for the brain to create feelings of happiness. And not all depression is the same. I know some depressed people who's condition is worsened by the guilt they feel for not being able to get better, because they know their lives aren't so bad, and they know that people judge them and think they are selfinsh--but there is nothing they can do without medical help. Unless you have lived through it firsthand, with yourself or a loved one, you cannot understand and should not make generalizations.
In Morita Therapy we consider depression, and all feelings, something which is uncontrollable by our will. In this article, Fr. Rolheiser describes the kind of depression which has no apparent connection to one's circumstances - acedia. Such experiences were part of the human condition 1,500 years ago and still are today. How can we ride through these experiences without getting stuck in their emotional quicksand?
NoonDay Devil
When the Desert fathers first formulated a list of what they considered "deadly sins", they included the sin of sadness. It wasn't until the 17th century that it was dropped from the list, replaced by sloth.
How can sadness be a sin? Isn't it a feeling over which we have no control? Sadness comes and goes, a tidal flow, triggered by circumstance, body-chemistry, the weather. Besides isn't a certain sadness a sign of solidarity with the world's pains, a sign of maturity and depth beyond the partying of the young and the denial of death that's so often expressed in our forced attempts to be upbeat and positive, even as depression nips at our heels? Why should sadness be a sin?
This article can be read in its entirety at
http://www.todoinstitute.org/library/public/noonday_devil.php#000119#000119
Interesting Opinion, although I don't agree. You should read Victor E. Frankl's "Man's Search for Meaning." His take on depression is that everyone has to deal with some sort of tragedy, but depression is when people can't find meaning with that tragedy, so the psychotherapist walks the patient through to find meaning with this suffering.
I will have to look into that. It sounds like a very interesting view point.
~Keri~
I will have to look into that. It sounds like a very interesting view point.
~Keri~
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I cannot figure out how to delete this comment. Is it possible? I can edit it, but I cannot remove it from the blog.
I think depression is selfish. That person is only demostrating that he/she cares only about the well being of their own self. Think of it this way, this person is stuck so deep into their hole of low self esteem and sadness. No longer do they pay attention to anything or anyone, no even the helpful hand.
This is very selfish, they act depressed for the most part, attention. And when given to them all they really think about is themselves. We understand that its a really difficult moment in which the majority of people undergo. But its selfish because with all the help you get some people don't even bother to try to help themselves. No matter how much effort put into trying to rise em' up and out of the depression they always seem to have a pessimistic attitude towards help. "I can't do it" and "Its not worth it! For what?" are among the statements meant to prove that it is selfishness, instead of being like "Fuck it! Lets just try and see."
But they are still people and need and deserve the help that they can get, even if it has to be having them circling around emotions.
-DSSDNT
How can you say that? The pessimistic view is a symptom OF A DISEASE. A DISEASE. Honestly. You don't say that cancer patients are selfish when their treatment doesn't work and they don't get better...or when they are feeling less than upbeat about their treatment.
People who share opinons like this are the prec.ise reason so many clinically depressed people wait so long before getting help..and the consequences of doing so can be dire--I know from experience. I think that people who judge others are the real selfish ones.
How is judging others selfish? It does not benefit the person who is being judgemental. It does not even hurt others, unless they allow it to offend them.
While depression is diagnosed as a disease, and there is a chemical imbalance that causes this disease, it is not cancer. Cancer cannot be improved by any behavior of the patient. Depression, however, can be affected by the patients behavior. Many people who are officially diagnosed with depression will use that as an excuse for their behavior, which is just like girls using PMS as an excuse for actions and emotions. We cannot put the blame for things we do wrong on a "chemical imabalance," because we are still responsible for controlling what we do. However, people with depression seem to think that whatever they do is okay because they have something "wrong" with them. That is where it becomes selfishness.
Cancer patients are sometimes stuck in a hospital. The treatment is less than pleasant and they are weak and unhealthy because of the impact cancer has on their body. People with depression usually take a pill. You cannot compare those two things in any way.
~Keri~
First of all, you make the assumption that people with depression do things that are bad that they "justify" with their disease. I don't even know what to say to that because you obviously don't understand how dpression works, and must not have a lot of experience dealing with truly depressed people.
And cancer can be affected by the behavior of the patient--what about smokers who get lung cancer? That was directly preventable.
And you cannot compare PMS with Depression-- PMS is caused by hormones, which are chemicals in the blood secreted by the endocrine system, and clinical depression is a malfuntion of the serotonin receptors in the brain. These are two VERY different things.
Mental patients spend time in hospitals, too, but instead of love and sympathy and support, they are often shunned and made out to be bad people who just want attention and are selfish, as you say. And I can't even explain the degree to which you don't understand how depression treatment works. Taking psych drugs is not like taking tylenol. Most people try at least a dozen different medications, and even more combinations of doses, before they find something that works. The side effets can be devastating (Inluding: Anxiety, agitation, panic attacks, insomnia, irritability, hostility, impulsivity, akathisia (severe restlessness) , hypomania, mania, ausea, difficulty sleeping, drowsiness, anxiety, nervousness, weakness, loss of appetite, tremors, dry mouth, seizures, weight gain, etc.). For years, a common treatment of bipolar disorder was lithium, which basically put patients in a catatonic state. What kind of life is that? Wait until you have to spend a year of your life watching someone you love going through withdrawl because the drug that has saved their life for years is suddenly pulled off the market, and then you can talk to me about simple treatments.
And don't get me started on the cruel things people say to those who get treatment and use drugs. The assume (INCORRECTLY) that behavior modifiations and therapy can solve the problem. That is not true. Clinical depression has NOTHING to do with someone's life, circumstances, choices, or actions. It is a hereditary MEDICAL CONDITION and no one ever said it was an "excuse". People who are medicated for depression are not trying to get attention and they are not weak or selfish--anything but. I have an unbelievable amount of respect for my loved ones who decided to get treatment. This decision was not just for themselves--depression alters one's state of mind so that they don't have interest in much of anything. Instead, they knew their condition was affecting their loved ones (as ANY medical condition does) and were brave enough to walk into a doctor's office when they were feeling most vulnerable and asked for help.
I appologize for making assumptions about something I am not that familiar with.
I have realized that I am defending a view that I am not sure I agree with in the first place. Comparing PMS to depression is not fair, especially since I have never experienced "real" depression. I cannot really analyze depression when I have never been depressed or had a close family member who is. Sorry for upsetting you.
~Keri~
I think depression is selfish. That person is only demostrating that he/she cares only about the well being of their own self. Think of it this way, this person is stuck so deep into their hole of low self esteem and sadness. No longer do they pay attention to anything or anyone, no even the helpful hand.
This is very selfish, they act depressed for the most part, attention. And when given to them all they really think about is themselves. We understand that its a really difficult moment in which the majority of people undergo. But its selfish because with all the help you get some people don't even bother to try to help themselves. No matter how much effort put into trying to rise em' up and out of the depression they always seem to have a pessimistic attitude towards help. "I can't do it" and "Its not worth it! For what?" are among the statements meant to prove that it is selfishness, instead of being like "Fuck it! Lets just try and see."
But they are still people and need and deserve the help that they can get, even if it has to be having them circling around emotions.
-DSSDNT
Thanks for the interesting blog. I agree that depression is selfish. However, a person who gets mangled in a car wreck and ends up in the hospital is also selfish- they are spending all their energy on healing. No one has a problem with that, but I think depression is just the same. Of course a person who is floundering and desperate is selfish. Duh.
It could be that depression is an attention-getting device. But not in my opinion. Saying you are depressed, and acting depressed, for attention's sake, is self-evidently either an act of mimicking depression for gain, or exploiting an existing depression for gain. I think it is nonsensical to posit a person saying "hmmm. I want attention, I think I'll get depressed". And even then, mimicking depression for gain could be like mimicking starvation for food! If you are really starving, then food is what you need. If that makes sense. I think the truest and most useful thing you said was that depressed people think they deserve better. True that. Realizing it and repenting of it can be a start to recovery. It is key.
Maybe you have dealt with someone who was always whining and demanding special treatment because they say they are depressed. I would wonder about such a person. Everyone is different I guess but when I was depressed I was sort of curled in a fetal position. I couldn't keep commitments and didn't have the emotional energy to do what I should have--- but demanding special treatment takes A LOT of emotional energy, I think. I think depressed people just sort of fade into the woodwork and disappear. You would only see me loud and assertive when you pushed me to the edge of the abyss and made me fight for my life. Reactive, you know. I don't understand a loud, demanding depressed person. Seems oxymoronic. But we all have a lot to learn. Best regards, Warren
Thank you so much for your insight into this topic. I think that you are right, and I think that the main person I have known that has experienced depression is part of the reason for my view. She does, as you said, tend to demand extra attention, not always saying it is because she is depressed, but every now and then hinting at her illness which causes her to behave as she does. So, yeah.. Thanks for your opinion on this subject! It was very helpful.
~Keri~
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