What is Love? A Feeling? A kiss on the cheek? A word that people throw around because they're obligated to in a relationship? No, Love is much more powerful than that...love is unconditional, unfailing, persevering and real.
BUT...the media has distorted this beautiful thing. Nowadays, love is the word you tell your boyfriend/girlfriend the first week you get together. Relationships in themselves have transformed from something beautiful to something normal and quick. There have been countless times where my friends have approached me, sharing with me their depressing experiences of getting their heart broken, and I know how they feel, because I've had my heart broken before. But you see, relationships aren't meant to be a trial and error, they're meant to prepare two people for marriage, they're meant to be sacred.
Many times, love has become selfish. Young men and women begin to believe that if you love someone you will give your body to them, but where is the wedding ring? I don't see a wedding band on your ring finger. Sex was made to be beautiful, something cherished between a newlywed husband and wife. However, the media has made it look appealing, fun and something everybody is doing. Being a virgin in college is highly uncommon, but why? Because being in love with someone means being patient, and willing to save that purity for the future. It means if you're with somebody, and you give your heart to that person, and eventually your body as well, what will happen if it doesn't work out? What if the relationship ends after sexual intercourse? That's the danger of not waiting. You may even contract STD's or become pregnant. But everytime you get in a relationship with a person, you give them a little piece of your heart. If you constantly change partners and go with a new person every month, your heart begins to dwindle the more you give pieces of your heart away... until you finally find your perfect match and all you can give to him/her is a chewed up, broken, messed up heart that has been through nothing but heartache and unforgiveness. And perhaps, your habit of dating will eventually lead you to a divorce in your marriage, because you've never been used to keeping a relationship longer than two years.
Well love isn't just talking about MAKING it, it's also about being selfless. If your boyfriend doesn't call you because he's busy at a game, IT'S OKAY! Don't freak out! If your girlfriend can't be there for you on a certain occasion because she has a family emergency, IT'S OKAY! Don't freak out! Being with somebody means willing to sacrifice for that person, and willing to be selfless -- allowing that person to have time in other areas of responsibilities. Why is it that so many relationships ends so quickly? Because, you talk so much on the phone, see each other everyday, are around one another twenty-four seven, that you eventually start to become transparent with one another. What I mean with that is the first five months or so, both of you are at your best -- you smell your best, look your best, act your best, ask the parents for permission, etc. etc. But after a while, you'll see that eventually that will change, and true love means loving that person after everything superficial is taken away. You love somebody for who they are, not WHAT they are. You are willing to wait, be selfless, and truly persevere with that person no matter what happens.
So don't give your heart away to just anybody. Love who you are enough to know that you deserve the best, and you deserve someone that will treat you like a princess, or their prince charming. Love means to respect, and to endure in the longrun.
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
I can't say that I have ever been in love, but I have had strong feelings for someone before. And it is easier said than done not to let that feeling overcome you. Now I never had sex with him, only because I realized what I was doing wasn't right. I was so caught up with the fact that he thought I was beautiful that I just let THAT control me. And I think that THAT is a part of the problem too.
Now, saving yourself for marriage is a nice idea, and I am hoping that I do wait for that one person to come along, but it just seems like in this culture it is too idealistic for most. Don't get me wrong, I am not going to skank it up and sleep with every single guy who I come in contact with (I agree that having sex is supposed to be a very intimate, special thing) but if I meet the man I KNOW I am going to marry, I KNOW I love him and he loves me, then who says that we shouldn't show our love? I think your take on things is a BIT depressing...like because of the media people are mating like rabbits. But who's to say that when two people have sex they aren't in love at the time? Because it is quite possible to fall in and out of love quickly. Especially if you get caught up in the idea of a relationship.
I don't nessessarily disagree with premaritial sex. Marriage is between a man in a woman in a certian religion. But, regaurdless of that, I'd just like to say...
Love is not only blind but dead.
Not really, but ACK. Can't we just get over our fixation for the need of a constant love in our lives and stop searching? Someday, Prince or Princess Charming will come, and they will be the person for you.
But the media does pay too much attention to sex and whatnot. But I think that's only because there are more important things to look at, not because I disagree with premaritial sex.
::Why quote others when you know you want to say it yourself?::
Wow. Well written! What you were saying is all so true. Love is not a feeling, it is a choice. That is why the perception of love, is so screwd up in our culture. Our human emotions ride up and down like a roller coster, thats why one night you can "know" you're in love. and the next day wake up alone.
I definitely agree! You've brought up some pretty viable points here. :)
I seriously dislike the way people throw the word around. They'll say they "love" marshmallows one minute, and then say they "love" their boyfriend/girlfriend the next. How can these two be comparable? They can't. Maybe I'm overreacting, but oh well.
It saddens me to see people boyfriend or girlfriend hop. One to another. Not even stopping to take a breath, if you will. It's like, they have to have something to cling to, even though the inevidable breakup is just around the corner. And they get hurt every time. And there's absolutely nothing I can do to help. It really, really, saddens me.
AMEN to that!
Kudos! It doesn't make sense to just let someone have you without waiting, it makes it seem like don't you dont whether or not they hurt you... its like you just want to be with someone just for the heck of it.
I agree with a lot that you said, except
But you see, relationships aren't meant to be a trial and error, they're meant to prepare two people for marriage, they're meant to be sacred.
I think relationships have to be trial and error as a way of finding out what's right and what's wrong for you. Kind of like that saying, if it never rained, you'd never know how great the sun was... or something like that. You have to go through those really bad, random, spur of the moment relationships as a stepping stone to finding out what really means something to you.
And yes, the media has distorted the real image behind love, but why wouldn't they? if the media is a business and they're out to bring in money.
Actually, sex is just an outlet for lust, not love.
I disagree. My boyfriend and I are very much in love, despite the fact that we are niether of us adults. We understand the deep emotional connection with each other, and the risks that come with giving another person your heart. We're willing to take that risk for each other, though, and I think that proves the strength of our relationship. When I miss my boyfriend I miss his voice, the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles, and actually, his smell (as strange as that sounds...) And true, I miss kissing him, but that need comes in a distant second to simply hearing his voice and seeing him smile or laugh. Physical intimacy IS , I believe, part of a loving relationship as well. We've both seen each other in various states of grunginess, smelliness and disary. And we love each other anyway. I'm impressed that he got 30 on his ACT, he's impressed that I'm in AP classes. He likes that I volunteer for the courthouse; I joined kanjikenbo because he likes it so much. We are both willing to make sacrafices, and wether or not we end up married, I think that we have surpassed the superficial guidelines of "love" in the average teenage realtionship.
If this isn't the purest, unadulterated truth, then I don't know what is! Love is a rare occurence in our society. People don't know what love is. They get tangled up in the images associated with love, the feelings that love evokes, but they never truly love.
I guess there's an up side to all this: it's not hard to tell when someone has genuine unconditional love for you, because those people who do, are precious and few! :)
A.
i agree with you to an extent. yes i feel that people have lost the true menaning of love. no one understands what relationships are any more. alot of people give themselves to people they claim they love only to have thier heart ripped away seconds after. i myself agree with that fact that love has become a media. an icon. no more than jsut a quick thing you get a new one every month and once the excitement has died out you don't see the need any more and you look for a new thrill. in your statement
"...relationships aren't meant to be a trial and error, they're meant to prepare two people for marriage..."
i've been saying that since i could recognize what a relationship is. when i was younger i didn't think dating was jsut some quick heartless thing. though many tried to sway me. saying ahve fun, your young, live and then settle down. i have never wanted that.
i am now engaged to be married and have evry intention of following it through whether people support me or not because of my age.
now as far as premarital sex. yes sex should be held sacred and specail. not to the thrown to every person you meet as a greeting. but i don't think premarital sex is wrong. sex is something that should be shared to the only person you intend on spending the rest of your life with. you need to know this person with every aspect of your being. i'm not saying trial and error and stay with the one person who's the best in bed. but your devoting your life to someone...if you feel the time is right and you know deep within your soul that you should give yourself to that person then do what your feel is best.
<3 Valerie Kay<3
This is a well written blog and good source of details. Nicely done. Good job =)
http://www.progressiveu.org/181343-who-are-you-yelling-at
the media's definitely killed the true definition of love. but then again it's very personal in the first place, so people will be influenced by what they want to be influenced by.