So, first off, I MUST thank everyone for all the birthday wishes I received yesterday. I admit, I was very worried about my birthday. I LOVE this day and the thought of not enjoying it was just too much to handle.
It was, to sum it up nicely, one of the BEST birthdays I have ever had. 19 ROCKS! Haha. I had to wake up early as FUCK (aka: 5:30) to drive Laura to the airport. I set my cell phone alarm, and in my semi-conscious state, heard it go off.
Aimee: "Angie, what time is it?"
Me: "Hpmdsh."
Aimee: "What time do you have to get up?"
Me: "Oh, shit!"
For me, waking up on time is being late. Anyways, Barb, Laura (who had a duffel bag ON WHEELS!!! Who knew they existed??) and I hopped in Carmen and were off. We helped Laura get her stuff out of the car, and then said "See you later", as we refused to say good-bye to each other. I miss her already. At breakfast this morning, I was thinking "Oh, Laura. Always coming down at the last minute to make breakfast. Oh, wait!" And then I got sad.
When Barb and I got back yesterday, I had this suspicious feeling my phone was broken. This was due in part to the fact that the screen was almost 100% engulfed in a black inky liquid. I had Barb call it, and it went straight to my voicemail.
I almost had a temper tantrum. It's one thing for my phone to break. I could technically survive a day without my phone. But on my BIRTHDAY?? When 90% of my friends live across the country?!?! I thought I was going to start crying. So I went online and found an AT&T store and then after meeting with my dietitian (who was EXTREMELY happy to hear my news and actually seems to like me more now that I'm fertile again...weird) I went and bought a phone. I didn't really know how one bought a cell phone. I thought it was this complicated process. But it's not. You go in and just...buy a phone. It's red. And a slider. It goes with Carmen :-). AND....IT HAS A FLASH CAMERA!!!!!! It was like Christmas yesterday, I swear. I didn't ask nor tell my parents this was occuring. I figured they'd find out once they got the bill for the unlimited texting my whole family has now (it was part of the phone purchase...they should be thanking me!)
I then went to the gym, eating my snack on the way. Let's just say that eating strawberries out of a little container with a fork while driving in rainy San Diego weather is JUST as hard as it sounds. I got my gym on, came back, and ESM (whose last day was yesterday) shouted when I came in "YOU GOT FLOWERS!!!" and what did I respond with?
"That is SO MEAN to joke about to me on my birthday!" But ESM said "No, no, seriously! Look on the table!"
And there they were. In all their orchidic (is that a word? hmm) glory. WITH A CARD!! Ahhh. I always wondered what Valentine's Day would be like if I had a boyfriend at the time. I could get used to this.
ESM: "I wanted to read the card, but since I still am technically employed here, I figured it would be breaking some type of violation."
I was literally SO HAPPY after this happened that my laptop could've exploded and I wouldn't have cared. Well, yeah, I would've cared. But I still would've been in a good mood. After showering and changing into Cute Birthday Outfit #1 (Don't get excited...there was only 2 of them), I decided to skip Expressive Arts Therapy (actually...I decided I would skip EVERY E.A.T. (haha, funny acronym) since going into transition) and get myself a pedicure.
It was a rainy day yesterday, which is quite the rarity in San Diego. And I took this as a present. I LOVE rainy days. My hair doesn't, but that's a whole other story.
I was listening to the Spice Girls when I pulled up to the house, and when I came in, ESM and Megan started singing "Tell me what you want what you really really want!" I thought it was just a coincidence. Apparently they heard it from my car. Heh heh.
Speaking of hair, when I got back from my pedicure I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR. For the first time in two months. And I have to say, I prefer it curly. Even Barb, after seeing it and exclaiming "Wow!! Did you do that yourself? How long does it take? It's so cute!...I like it better curly."
But hey, when you straighten your hair in exchange for a non-shaven face for 3 days (tee hee), you keep your word.
The rest of my night was absolutely fabulous. To prevent any lawsuits, I can't go into detail, but mine and Aimee's idea involving bananas, whipped cream, and our beds=HILARIOUS!! But I don't know if it was appreciated to the extent that it deserves to be.
And I was only 73 minutes late past curfew. I was terrified someone was going to be up waiting for me, or I would find a note saying "WE KNOW YOU'RE LATE! WE'LL TALK IN THE MORNING!" Fortunately, no one and nothing was waiting for me. And no one mentioned it this morning. Hee.
My mom came today to help me look for apartments. I was SO stressed out about seeing her. I just didn't want to have that belittled, neglected feeling. Not to sound whiny or like a bitch--because, like I said, my birthday was amazing--but my mom sent me an email yesterday. Did it say "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" on it? No. The title was "Excel." As in Microsoft Excel. As in my class. It said "Talk to Dad about your excel class. He can help." My mom told me that my dad--to make sure I don't get dropped from the class because OhGod!thatwouldbetheworstthingeverifididn'tdosomethingrightacademically--that HE would do my late assignments for me. Hah. Whatever. If it's that important to them, go ahead. They wanted me to email my professor to ask for an extension. Instead of simply asking for an extension, I happened to mention that I was in an eating disorder clinic. Her response?
"Take as much time as you need! Your health is most important."
I gotta say, having an eating disorder DOES have its benefits.
Anyways. Back to The Visit from Pat Campbell. She came. She somewhat upset me. When I called her and said "I'll pick you up at the transit center in a little bit. I need to shower because I'm on my way home from the gym." Then I asked if my mom had eaten lunch yet, because I was wondering if I had time to eat at the house or if I would have to go out to eat with my mom.
"Did you have lunch yet?"
"So I'm at Old Town! On the bench!"
"Did you have lunch yet?"
"I'm on the bench! Can't miss me?"
Hmm. I decided she didn't know how to answer the question. So I gave her the acceptable responses.
"Did you eat lunch yet? Yes or no?"
"...."
"MOM!"
"WHAT?"
I finally got the response that she had eaten half of a sandwich. Or something. I wasn't really listening. Anyways, we decided we'd go out to eat and Aimee suggested Subway, since it'd be easy to get all my exchanges. So we went, did the Subway thing, and got to APARTMENT HUNTING!! I had printed off info for apartments around Grossmont and a bunch of them offered month-to-month leases. Or so I thought. I called all of them, and half didn't answer, and the other half that did didn't HAVE month-to-month leases.
Well. Fuck.
But this really nice lady referred me to another apartment complex with month-to-month leases. 2 different 2 bedroom units were available when I called. When I got there, only one was. I went in. And.....
IT WASN'T GHETTO!
The shower didn't look like it would give me herpes.
The living room has this huge ceiling, which makes it look pretty big. The master bedroom is, in my opinion, AMAZING, and the other one's okay. I hope I get the master. :-). ANNND the deposit was only $99 and they're having a special where you get $500 your first month's rent.
SAY WHAT!! I am meant to live here, I swear. I told Casey about it. I REALLY hope she stays. We're the only two with nighttime snack. If that's not a sign we're destined to live together, I don't know what is.
But after I got the apartment, I started FREAKING out.
Why?
Well. I've lived at the HG for longer than I have anywhere in California. I know the area (relatively speaking) and I LOVE LOVE LOVE! the people I live with. I thought of Aimee when I was driving home from the apartment and I wanted to cry. I'm going to miss living with her SO much. And Nicola?!?! My sweet New Zealand Kiwi!!! NO ONE gets me like she does. She's my #1 Partner in Crime. My fellow dish-smasher. My first HG roomie. And Barb?? I have one question for you:
HOW CAN I LIVE WITHOUT BARB???
This woman is amazing. She told me she missed me today after I was gone all day and it made me so, so sad. I was so upset I started CRYING during meal check in. That's the bitch time to cry. If you're gonna cry, at least do it like a man and wait till therapy.
But now. "I'm feeling....SAD! Sob sob sob sob". Uck. I hate being emotional.
I was so upset, I passed on playing Cranium. ME! Passing on a board game! And CRANIUM nonetheless. However, I did join in when I was down stairs for my snack. It was too tempting. I did an excellent impression of Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, thank you. And I'm apparently the only person in the world who's heard the song "99 Red Balloons." The German version too.
I'm moving in on Tuesday. I can't believe it. I was all "Oh, I'm staying at the HG for two more weeks. La la la." And now...it's 120 HOURS! That's it! I REALLY am apprehensive about this.
What if Casey doesn't stay?
Even if she does stay, I'll be alone in the apartment for a while. What if I relapse??
I need to get a job now. A JOB! What if I can't handle my classes AND work??
Where the HELL am I going to get a couch before Tuesday??
I don't even want to think about the no-bed issue. Looks like it'll be the pull-out sleeper thing that Amber thinks is SO comfortable that I'll be using temporarily.
However, I AM excited to decorate. And have people over!! The place has a pool, a spa, a SAUNA (what?!), tennis courts, volleyball courts, and this hilariously out-of-date "gym" (more like a "fitness room"). It might not be so bad.
Tomorrow's Saturday. OA. Starbucks. Beach walk. My last week like this. I guess I could go to OA on my own, pop into Starbucks, and then go to the beach. And just "happen to run into every single person from HG!" each week. Hmm. Makes me have a stalker-esque vibe. But it's something to consider.
Here's a deep philosophical thought to wrap up my first non-18 year old Facebook noting:
Depression is anger turned inward.
Huh.
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