Life and Death: what's "fairness" got to do with it?

His name was Sean, and anyone who attends my school knew who he was. His smile alone would light up a room, his laugh a better sound than anything else God could have created. He was more talented than 200 people put together, and when he danced the entire world seemed to pause in awe. Sean was one of those people that never had anything negative to say about anything. He loved everyone, and they all loved him.
I remember the night I found out. It had been so strangely hot during the previous week that my friends and I spent all of our after-school time at the golf course, in the pool and running around in the mall. I opened my window that Sunday to let in the crisp 80-degree nighttime air, then sat at my computer to check my email.

Twelve messages sat in my inbox. Sean was gone.

It's difficult to remember what happened next, but somehow I ended waking up to an empty stomach and aching heart. School wasn't school anymore: it was a never-ending memorial. We found enough comfort in each other that eventually our knees weren't weak, but it took longer for our hearts to heal.
It rained that week.

Death has a terrible habit of creeping up on a thousand people at once. When it happens, we try to deny it. We continue to mourn and ache. We ask why it happened, and blame God for his "unfairness". But as time has gone by I've had a chance to rethink through everything. After all, what is "fair"? True, losing a wonderful person- a friend, a brother, a son- isn't anything worth celebrating, but maybe there's something more to death that we can't understand yet. Sean was a happy person, and although his life was short, it was more full than it could've ever been. In his 17 years, he brought more joy and love into this world than most could do with a lifetime. Maybe that was God's plan for him: to make the community a happier place. Maybe- just maybe- he had finished his job sooner than we did, and he had no reason to be here any longer.

In The Grapes of Wrath John Steinbeck's character Ma states that as you get older "livin' and dyin' become part of the same thing." We live so that we can die. We do our best here so that we can end up happy in heaven. I believe we're supposed to change the world, and that we're given the talents and abilities to do so. We just have to push our fears aside.

Sean was a wonderful person, and left a permanent hole in our hearts. The world will never forget him.

Share this post on:

 •    •    •    •    •