Let's Talk Sex! (Sex is perfectly normal but not normally perfect)

It's amazing how the the words in the subject line of this blog can strike so much fear into people! In our culture, sex is more than just an act; it is a political, social, and religious platform. The fact is we don't talk about it and as a result, we don't know how to have a discussion about healthy sexual practices. It's an act shrouded in shame, secrecy, dirt & smut, something only okay when used as a marketing ploy to sell manufactured goods...and NEVER sex toys! As a result, there are so many misconceptions out there that make it even more difficult to talk about. We're given conflicting information: you're supposed to want sex but it's something dirty you are only to share with someone you love?!

Then there's abstinence-only education. This is the point where what is done in the bedroom (or kitchen table, backseat of cars, etc.) meets political and religious interests. If we don't teach the youth anything about sex, they won't think about it & this will solve unwanted preganancies, sexually-transmitted diseases, overpopulation, rape and incest, sexual violence, promiscuity. As time has demonstrated, the opposite is the case; incidents of all the aforementioned have been on the rise since abstinence-only was implemented. Sex is something all living things do; it is an instinctive drive one doesn't need to watch movies, read books, or take courses to have or learn about. I know in school, I was only told not to do 'it" but not what "it" was, nor safe ways of "doing it", or consequences of "doing it". Kids being kids, we learned on our own by doing, by listening to the misinformation, gems like "a girl can't get pregnant the first time", "if you do it standing up you can't get pregnant", "sex will be perfect the first time" & if someone looks cute they can't possibly have a disease. These were all wrong. The statistical studies replicate this time after time, show how ineffective "abstinence-only" has been. It continues to pose an incredible monetary & social cost not just in implementing it, but also in taking care of it's many failures. Our culture is very sex-negative to the point of fear; it's obvious that ain't working. How can you avoid a dopliffer if you've never seen one, don't know what they are, how they work, what they do. Likewise, how can you have healthy sexual practices if you don't know what they are?

The fact is that sex -- the drive to perpetuate the species -- is a natural part of being alive. Sex is perfectly normal but not normally perfect; Just as we learn to drive a car, we should also learn how to be sexually responsible and healthy. It should be in a non-judgemental way, one that doesn't villify or champion one sexual orientation or belief over another, but in an educational way relays facts so people can take measures to be safe & responsible if/when they chose to "do it". The fact is it can be a healthy, wonderful experience that burns calories, relieves depression/tension/stress, builds a bond, expresses affection & trust...but only if we learn how to act responsibly and are aware of the risks we take if we do decide to engage in it.

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