Something that I have really struggled with lately is my relationship with my parents. It has not been any worse than usual, in fact, if anything it has been better. I have been trying harder to get along with them and to respect them, and yet we still struggle to get along. While I do not claim to have the answer to getting along with parents, there are a few things I have realized of late that I thought may be helpful to you, and a good reminder to me. Please leave your comments and let me know what your opinions are, and know that I am not trying to offend anyone.
Let me say that I typically hate spending time with my family. We do not share interests in many things (music, television/movies, activities). They have said at times that I am going to end up not liking the music I listen to, and liking the music that they listen to. I have always and perhaps always will enjoy their music, because I am easily satisfied by music. However, I do like my music better. Same with music and other things. There is stuff I’d rather do and rather watch/listen to than what they have me do. Yet, if I am capable of enjoying doing what they want to do, why do I not enjoy it? I am constantly thinking “I’d rather be…” Even when they go up to the river in the fall and my dad goes hunting, I would rather stay home. Of course, I love going hunting, and I love relaxing at the river, but it is more fun to be home. However, because they are my parents, I realize I should respect them and do what they want, and enjoy myself while I’m there. Yet, it is still a constant struggle. Why should I do what they want when I would be happier doing my own thing? Because we can all be happy if I am with them, rather than just me.
As far as chores go, I am pretty much the only one who does much. Since my sister has gone to college, I am left to do the vacuuming, bathrooms, dusting, table setting and dishwashing, etc. My dad has even decided that I should be the one who mows the lawn. At times I find myself thinking it’s not fair, that I have to do everything and my sister has never and never will have to. Sometimes my parents sit around doing their own thing while I am doing chores (rarely, but it happens). Of course, I forget all the times that they have paid for me to go places, and allowed me to spend time with friends. All the gas I use driving around our car that they usually pay for. All the incredible trips that we have gone on. Although I do not get paid for doing chores, I am so spoiled and lucky to have time with friends, and should be happy to serve my parents in whatever way I can. I even love helping the church and friends, but when it comes to helping my family, I almost never have a smile. I’d rather waste my time on the computer.
Finally, often when my family has conversations, we argue. If I say something jokingly, they take it the wrong way. I think that talking to my parents has become the hardest part of my life, because we always end up fighting. However, I now realize why. I treat my parents just like I treat my friends. I joke and make fun of my friends, and while I love them, I am very disrespectful to them at times. Of course, they treat me the same way. My parents do not, though. I need to treat my parents more respectfully than my friends and not treat them the same way. Also, no matter how close I am to an adult, or anyone who is older than me, I should still respect them and treat them as adults, and not simply as my friends. The hard part is finding the balance between the two extremes, because I should be able to talk to adults about things that I talk to my friends about, and yet I should respect them more than my friends, and not just in my head. I always pay more attention to what my youth leaders say than my friends, but I am not sure that either of them would realize that. I need to be more appreciative of the wisdom passed on to me.
We have all heard countless times to listen to and obey our parents, and to respect adults. However, how many of us can honestly say that we do? I wonder why I have such a hard time getting along with my parents, and yet I know that it is because I fail to do those simple things. If I spent less time worrying about what I’d rather be doing, less time worrying about what they have done for me, and more time listening to them and learning from them, I would be much happier. Now, if only I could actually do it. Please be praying for me and my family!
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
I have felt that way many times before. I dont know how it happened, but I got in speaking terms with my mom. I find it very hard for her to relate it to me, but now we share a lot of family time. I know it has been hard for her to be a single parent and try to give her a break once in a while.
I shouldnt be the one giving advice. But I think you are right, you should spent less time trying to think about where you would rather be. Because they probably were thinking the same thing when they were changing your diapers, or taking care of you, when they wanted to go out into the world and do something else. Its like this phrase my friend always says, you never apperciate anything until its gone. I gues you dread your time with your parents because they are always around you. I hope that it gets better, and you will be in my prayers.
I never let my schooling interfere with my education. - Mark Twain
I think it's very healthy that you recognise the fact that you parents have done so much for you, I think also that you are very lucky that your parents actually do so much for you also. I reckon it's fairly normal what you are feeling, a kind of guilt, which means that you are essentially not spoiled, spoiled people don't sit around feeling guilty for not relating to their parents in my experience. Basically and this is just my opinion, you still live with your folks, which means that you have spent more time with them by this stage than any other set of friends, if you spent that much time with one of your friends you'd probably get a little sick of them too, especially if they were always paying for everything you needed and making demands of you in return.
Your parents and you have a large age gap between you, this is essentially part of the problem. If you take into account your parents age, and then ask yourself how many friends of yours are the same age as them, how many of the people you long to hang out with are the same age as your folks? I hazard a guess, not many. It comes down to a generational difference in interests, it just becomes confusing because they are your parents and you constantly feel indebted to them for raising you. You are allowed not to be thrilled hanging out with people decades older than you, who you already hung out with for most of your life. The perfect families you see on TV are not normal, they are an ideal designed to makes us try to be perfect or make us ashamed of ourselves if we don't meet the "7th Heaven" mark.
I am 18. A full-time college with a job, yet my parents insist on controlling my life. I have a 8:30pm curfew for Sunday night through Thursday night.
<3 Ali
Vote it's what you can do for your country!
I am 18. A full-time college with a job, yet my parents insist on controlling my life. I have a 8:30pm curfew for Sunday night through Thursday night.
<3 Ali
Vote it's what you can do for your country!