I am done with high school and Saturday night i will FINALLY be walking across a stage infront of hundreds of people. SCARY! but that isn't the scariest part. The scariest part is i don't know what i want to do with the rest of my life.. such as a career.
But a week ago today my new baby brother was born with cleft lip.
If you know what that is then you know it could be much worse.
But incase you don't know it is when the lips of a person don't actually connect in the developmental stage of pregnancy. So there is a crack in between the upper lips and one side of the lip is pretty much connected to the nose.
At least that is how it is in my little brother's case. Some people also have Cleft Pallete which is when the whole roof of the mouth doesn't connect, but luckly my brother doesn't have that too or things would be much worse.
So he doesnt have any missing limbs or mental retardedness.. So yea I know it could be much worse. (I added that because i was telling a few people at school about it and he was acting like i was stupid because i got upset about it.)
but still when u expect to have a perfect baby but then it is born with a birth defect it is upsetting. especially when you have no clue about it until they come out.
My step mom was really upset about it and pretty much cried the whole day and
could barely stand to look at him because she blamed herself and she thougth he was in pain.
Then this woman came and talked to us that had a son that was born 19 yrs ago with cleft lip & cleft pallete. but he has had surgeries and surgeries and they fixed it she showed us pictures from when he was born til now and you cant even tell he had it.
but her coming helped us deal with it and realize he will be okay so i want to be able to give people hope and comfort as she did for us. although she doesnt get paid to do that i am very thankful for her coming.
although i still know this is all going to be very tough. I am not going to be able to bare looking at him after the surgeries because she showed us this one pic of her son when he had his first surgery they put their lil arms straight out to there sides and make it so they cant touch their lips i know it is for their own good but i hate seeing those i love in pain (emotional or physical) and knowing i cant do anything to make them all better.
So please pray for my family if you are into that kind of thing. We could really use it.
It can be scary having a baby with a birth defect. They thought my oldest nephew had cleft pallete before he was born. He didn't. My youngest nephew, however, had spina bifida and we were clueless. With him, we didn't find out he had spina bifida until the morning after he was born. Since he was born so early, we were already dealing with so much terror because he had such a rough start. Having that birth defect news on top of everything else certainly didn't help... but we made it through it. 13 surgeries and more hospital stays than I can even count, he's doing so well. He'll be 3 next weekend (I still can't believe it) and while his life is certainly unique and he has a long way still to go medically, he's an absolutely amazing little boy. I imagine your brother will be too.
My advice to you is to do your research, talk to other families and really start thinking about what you need to know and what you can do to help him as he endures the surgeries and growing up. And remember that kids are very resilient. Despite everything Aloshua has gone through and his terror of doctors, he still laughs and plays and does just about everything that normal toddlers do (he's obviously behind, but he's learned to adapt). Give him lots of love and remember that it's okay to be upset about it and to be terrified. Watching a baby go through any sort of surgery is difficult, especially when that baby is so close to you. Be grateful that it wasn't worse... but don't ignore that it's difficult even so. You're allowed to be upset and you certainly aren't going through it alone.
Your family will be in my thoughts.
If you need to rant or if I can do anything else, please feel free to get in touch with me!
And congrats on the graduation. That is a great achievement and you should be proud of yourself (and not feeling guilty for being excited even with everything else going on)!
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~Fallon~
An education isn't how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know. It's being able to differentiate between what you do know and what you don't- A. France
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thank you very much for the great comment.
reading it brought tears to my eyes.
even though ive realized that he has it and that he is going to b okay i still dont want to think about all the crap is going to go threw i love him so much already i instantly fell inlove with him just as i did with my lil brother that is now 2. they r both beautiful baby boys even though Eli the youngest one has the cleft lip he is very precious and pretty much a good baby. and i am not just saying that because they are my lil bros.. but im really glad your nephew is fine i dont know much about what he has but i hope he will always be fine too..
babies are so precious.
thatgirl2089
thank you very much for the great comment.
reading it brought tears to my eyes.
even though ive realized that he has it and that he is going to b okay i still dont want to think about all the crap is going to go threw i love him so much already i instantly fell inlove with him just as i did with my lil brother that is now 2. they r both beautiful baby boys even though Eli the youngest one has the cleft lip he is very precious and pretty much a good baby. and i am not just saying that because they are my lil bros.. but im really glad your nephew is fine i dont know much about what he has but i hope he will always be fine too..
babies are so precious.
thatgirl2089
I will pray for all of you . Especially you deciding on what you want to do. I was stumped at first, but I tried to figure out what I like to do the most. I like to help people. So my major is physical therapy- because I can help others get back to a normal life, and financial consultant - hep people invest and save their money wisely, as my minor. So in both fields , I am helping someone . You have 2 years to get your basics out the way so you still have time. Congratulations on gradutins saturday.
thank you very much..
i want to help people too..
but neither of those occupations sounds very exciting to me. but good luck too you!
thatgirl2089
It was just an example but seriously try to go into a field that represents you in some way. What can work for me will not work for you too.
i understand..
thatgirl2089
I went to college with a girl who had a cleft lip. She had to tell me. I really thought she just had a little scar from a cut or something.
the woman that came and talked to us told us that her son has a small scar that indeed looks like he just got cut or something.
but a girl had it thats is kind of unique i think...
i was reading on the internet and it said that only 1 out of 800 babies has it and most of them are males.
thatgirl2089