Intense Fear of Eating Meat

   I am intensely afraid to eat meat. It is the stupidest feeling, but if there is a vein, I'm nauseous; If it's on the bone, I won't touch it; and, fat on the meat is a surefire way to make sure that I will not eat it. I don't drink milk and rarely eat cheese, unless on vegetables. I have never eaten pork or bottom feeders.

   Coming from a family of omnivores, who focus on the meat on their plate- this is strange indeed.

   I try to figure myself out sometimes, like, maybe it has something to do from having eating disorders when I was younger? Meat was the first thing that I ever eliminated from my diet and it has never come back. Or...Maybe it stems from my four-year-old escapade of eating raw beef and puking for what seemed like hours...It is hard to tell.

   I think what cripples my ability to eat meat most, is my mind. Everytime I attempt to fill up on protein, I see road kill, the entrails being picked apart by birds of prey (I live in the country). Or the horrifying crunch of an animal's skull as it bounces off the floorboard of my car, Ugh...

   I can prepare meat for my family, as their decision does not have to be mine, but I get creeped out by the germ factor and scrub my hands and everything that may have come in contact with the meat. I also buy my meat from people that have personally raised the animal, and that gets extremely expensive but I feel safer feeding my family that, than buying food at, say, the local grocer and it having Mad Cow Disease or something...

   I know some of these things sound extreme, but that is what fear does, it exacerbates small things until they are mountains looming in the path of normalcy...If there is such a thing as normalcy.

   Anyways, if you have a strange food fixation or phobia, do share.

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