No wonder girls have a weird sense of self.

 All my life I have been surrounded with women telling me what beautiful is. It was never you're beautiful the way you are, but rather make some changes and you can be beautiful too. From my paternal grandmother I learned at a young age that designer labels made the person. I was reading Vogue at the ripe age of 6. I knew what Prada was while most people were learning how to read. By the age of 7 I could put on makeup without looking like a 7 year old. When I was 9 my Christmas present was a bag of makeup. My grandmother is still my biggest critic. When I go to visit her I am a completely different person. I wear my clothes a little different, wear much more makeup than normal, my normal get ready routine takes about 30 minutes. With her it can take about an hour or more. Each year there is something that can be changed. My teeth could be whiter, my hair a different cut/color, my makeup different. In her eyes, I am the pitiful grandaughter. My cousins reign supreme grooming wise and it's up to her to pick up my mother's slack in taking care of me. My grandmother still is the one who buys most of my clothes, because she knows what the name brands are, and she buys most of my makeup too. That $15 eyeliner that she knows is my favorite? No big deal. My mother on the other hand gets mad when I buy a $5 eyeliner in an emergency. I love my grandmother, and I am very very fortunate to have her in my life but sometimes I want to scream when she starts in on how I could be so much prettier if I just did (fill in the blank). Shouldn't she be telling me I am beautiful no matter <i>what</i>?

 My mothers step-mom has been very similar, albeit much subtler. When I go to stay with her and my grandfather I always find little makeup samples next to my bed. One time when I was around 11 she told me that I should stop eating so much gravy because I was going to get fat. I have always been under weight and never even had the threat of gaining weight. Ever since then she moniters my eating at every chance. Last summer I stayed with her for a week. We went to the beach and while we were laying out (because I'm not tan enough either) she made the comment that I should switch over to all diet drinks. Also, she said that I should really start exercising more because I was going to gain weight if I didn't stop eating so much. So sue me if I have a healthy appetite. I exercise just plenty. And I refuse to drink diet drinks unless they are the only thing left or if I'm in need of serious caffeine because diet drinks have more caffeine than normal ones.

 I believe that no matter what girls are beautiful and that they shouldn't have to grow up with these kinds of influences. People get so caught up on the media portraying stuff like this, but they don't realize how close to home it really can be.