I am amazed I am typing this, but I feel more alone now than I ever have. Has anyone ever entrusted everything about themselves with another person? Surely, everyone has. Then your relationship with that person doesn't work out, and that person who claims to be your best friend seems to do everything they can to hurt you and shred your heart to pieces? If you have then you have been through what I am going through. I clearly love this person with all my heart, and only this person has the ability to hurt me this way. I do not cry but I cry over the decisions this person makes that makes me extremely depressed.
I don't believe I'm the only one in this situation. Nor do I believe anyone has a situation just like mine. My situation is very unique and I don't want advice, maybe I do, but I guess what I'm really asking is if anyone else feels like the number of "true" friends in the world are diminishing. I'm not saying I'm a perfect friend or even a great one, but I do try to be the best friend I can be. It just appears that nobody cares about anyone's feelings but themselves anymore. What kind of society are we turning into and why is this happening?
I'm a military brat. Out of all the friends that have come and gone through out my life from junior high and high school... all the people I, at the time, considered my best friends, I keep in touch with 2 of them. Sure I glance the others' names on facebook and myspace every so often but... the need and desire to talk to them is no longer there.
people grow apart for a lot of reasons. They mature at different speeds and in different directions. Even though they see each other every day, their paths lead them further apart from one another. Sometimes, people just run out of things to say to each other and then having everything in common just doesn't matter anymore.
My true friends, the ones I will have for life, are the ones I met in college. Not even the begginning of college--somewhere towards the middle. When you start knowing who you are and knowing what defines you, that is when you build the best relationships with others. Because as people grow, they change. And change matters.
I am sorry you seem to be losing your own best friend. I know, it is the worst thing in the world. You have every right to feel hurt and lost and alone. Just please don't let those feelings start to define who you are. You will meet other people who can, not complete you--only you can do that for yourself--but they can highlight the best parts of you just by being in your life.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/sawaboof
"...There is a crushing guilt that comes with being a Catholic. Whether things are good or bad or you're simply... eating tacos in the park, there is always the crushing guilt."
-30 Rock-
Sometimes the loneliness can hit, other times I prefer to be alone. I'm weird, I know. But you need to know that we all feel alone sometimes.
I completely understand where you are coming from "dantheman." Last year was my senior year of high school, the greatest year of your whole life, WRONG!! I had a few friends going into the start of the year. I've always only had a few really good friends and then just a lot of acquaintances. One of my friends over the end of the summer had gotten together with her old boyfriend who was horrible to her but she stayed with him and over the course of the year completely stopped talking to me and always went out with her boyfriend. I was really sad at first but then I realized that I didn't want a friend like her anyways especially if she was going to ditch me for some guy.
My other friend who I had known for much longer just stopped talking to me at the beginning of the year as well for some still unknown reason to me. I don't know what was going through her mind except that she was just being cruel to me and everyone else around her.
The summer after my senior year though I worked at a pool as the assistant manager. I met some really nice girls that I hung out with almost everyday. We became so close so fast it was almost like we were sisters and it was heartbreaking to go our separate ways once the summer was over. I still talk to all three of these girls on a regular basis and I know that we will always be friends/sisters.
I guess what I am trying to say is that I completely understand that true friends are scarce and hard to come across but what I have realized throughout this whole experience is that these certain people are put into our lives for a reason and sometimes the friendship is meant to be and sometimes its not. If a friendship is meant to be you'll know right away and if not learn from what has happened and become a better you because of it. That is what I have learned through my friend problems and I just thought that I would share that with you!
I understand what you are saying and I believe the number of true friends have decreased. I had 4 friends ranging from 9-14 years. They all abandoned me, screwed me over or just wanted me when it was convienant to them. I have tried to make new friends but they just screw me over. People don't seem to care about other people's feelings and it is sad because I am one person that does. Now i am in a situtuation where i don't have any friends, it's not that i don't want any but they don't want me i guess. I'm sorry for your situtation but it is nice to know that i am not the only one like i thought i was.i hang out with my boyfriend and my dad. pathedic lol.
It's amazing that sometimes it takes years to find out who are truly your friends. Some show their true colors right off the bat and others wait until something traumatic happens in either your life or theirs. True friends don't drop you because someone accuses you of something. True friends believe in you and stand by you through the good and the bad. Being 40 this year I have had many friends over the years and some have come and gone and others just sit by waiting for your call. You see real friends don't have to talk everyday or see each other on a weekly basis. Real friends are there when you need them and don't think anything about having to be there. Life is full of surprises and some are hurtful dantheman4250 but life deals you these cards in order to show you who the life long friends really are. So I guess what I'm saying is enjoy your real friends and never let others detour you away from them. Friends are like Love when you truly experience either you will KNOW!!
I am in a relationship now that I have been in for two years and that is my worst fear. If it ended I would lose everything I have and it would be hard to recover for quite a while. Everything finds its way to happen all at once which makes it even worse. I apologize for your loss and I hope you find happiness in another place.
There are true friends out there, but it definitely takes two people to make a firendship work, just like it takes two to make a romantic relationship work. If this friend is really hurting you so much, I wouldn't be around that person anymore, as hard as that may be. If you continue to search, though, and are a good friend in return (as you seem to be) then you'll certainly find a much better best friend.
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Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress. --Mahatma Gandhi
My Blog: http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/kablock
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Hi Dan, danny or daniel, which do you prefer? I only found out about this site because of your blog of losing your best friend, I am going through the same thing with a few friends at the moment and Ive never hurt more than I do now, I too try to be the best friend that I can be and its hard but i do my best and now a few of my closest friends are abandonning me for reasons out of my control :( Like you said each situation is different but losing a friend has the same heartbreak, the more powerful the friendship the more it hurts, I dont know If I will come back on this site but please email me (If you want of course) Because I have read your blogs and you seem a very down to earth nice guy who Id like to get to know and dare I say it become friends?!!! My email addy is becky07@hotmail.fr , please dont hesitate, I dont know when your problem started but mine i fear has just begun and maybe we can help each other through it. Anyways it was nice talking to you sort of speak, hope to do it again soon,
_Becky_
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