I do not believe in marriage. Period. My parents keep on expecting me to get married and start a family. My science teacher said humans' purpose here is to reproduce so our species do not extinct. My grandmother might arrange marriage for me. I thought it would be even cooler if she arrange same sex marriage for me though. Still, why should I get married?
Besides talking advantages of the government by being a marriage couple, why is it necessary to get married? If I am having a relationship with someone, why do I even have to label that person my girlfriend or my boyfriend? If we love each other, the whole entire world would probably know about it. Just being together is enough, isn't it? If you love each other, you don't need to get married.
What about making babies? What if I don't want to have babies? Does that mean my family will extinct and my Asian specie will die? I don't think so. I have sisters, cousins, and other relatives who can do that. We have overpopulation anyway. Maybe I'll just adopt.
Stop looking down on couples who live together but do not get married. Stop looking down on people who adopt children. Stop feeling sorry for "singles" because they might be happy the way they are. We just don't want to do what the society expects us to. Is that so wrong?
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Why don't more people understand what you're saying? I completly agree with you, I'm having the same issue in my life. If you love somebody why constrain it with labels and legal documents, yes there is something to be said for marriage and the committment it (used to) mean. America has a divorce rate of 50%, why not live with somebody before you put there last name on your track record. I agree with you, keep your head up-society is changing yet again!
My daddy's a preacher, but I live UNMARRIED with my 35 yr old boyfriend, I am 21. I may never get married, but it doesn't matter. Marriage is fleeting, nowadays. I have friends my age, married and divorced already, what a waste of money and time. If he and I decide to have a baby (which will not happen), I may revisit that thought about marriage, but unless there is a child AND love involved, no thanks. I want to leave without paperwork, if need be.
Plus, like he says, a piece of paper won't make him love me more or less...so why mess with a good thing?
My aunt and uncle never went through the legal stuff, but they are "married." I don't think marriage should be viewed as a legal status.
I have to agree with you 100%! All the relationships around me suck. My parents wanted to get divorced since I was 12, I have three unmarried aunts (2 with kids), 4 divorced uncles, and a godmother that's on her 5 marriage. If that's what marriage is all about, than count me out! If you love someone, I don't think you need a piece of paper that says you do.
~ Life can be wonderful, if you let it.
but it's not for everyone...I think people that think that they have to be with someone all the time-they are the ones that should NEVER get married. You have to be stable on your own before you can stand as a pair.
I recently got married in April, yes I'm eighteen and waaay young and I actually encountered the same obstacles you're talking about NOT getting married, lol. I'm too young and it won't last, blablabla. If people get married or not is strictly up to them, and with the divorce rate the way it is people really shouldn't be spouting off about the "sanctity of marriage". As long as you're happy and in love. The only drawback I see to not getting married is taxes, and who gets what if the couple breaks up!! And thank God I'm not the only one that doesn't want to have kids!
Congrats on your marriage, I hope it works and obviously you believed in the relationship or you wouldn't have gone thru with it.
thanks!
I fully agree. I'm still young, so I guess people are right when they say that I can't be sure, but for the time being I refuse even the idea of marriage. There are loads of people that marry each other and end up divorcing several times because they did not find love. On the other hand there are just as many people together for the rest of their lives without ever having to subjugate themselves into the "married" category. I just don't see why it's so important, why it's a right of passage people can't get over since by now I believe it to be obselete.
~~~
"You can not help someone who does not want to be helped."
Let me start out by saying that I have no problem with people who don't think marriage is right for them. If you don't want to get married, then don't. It doesn't affect me one way or the other...
However, I place a high importance on marriage. To me, marriage is a commitment to stay together no matter what happens. When you're just boyfriend/girlfriend, it seems as though you're testing the waters... seeing if you're compatible with the other person.
I'm also of the philosophy that you can't 'fall out of love' with someone, but that's a discussion for another time.
~C
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but honesty and fidelity isn't always high on everyone's list. Love takes A TON of work, if two people do not both do the work relationships suffer-marriage or not. I am not interested in being in a marriage that is half-assed, which is why I have no plans to get married yet...I haven't got a boyfriend that thinks marriage is important...
As I said... I have no problem with people who think marriage is not right for them. But I fully plan on getting married, and I don't intend to get married before I'm ready to. My current boyfriend and I have the same views towards marriage. We've been shaken a little from our determination to get married due to events in his life, but we're not ruling it out as a possibility in the future.
~C
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People have to make that step for themselves, and in whatever you decide, good luck!
I would love to hear why else is marriage a good thing. Can't you be committed to each other without marriage? Being married to me is a little bit saying, "I don't trust you anymore. Now you're with me, you're with me lonely." A lot of people are getting divorce these days. I believe that you "can't" fall out of love either. But you definitely can move on and find new love. When you're married, you might become more paranoid...I don't know, just what I observed from other people though.
Yes, you can. I'm not by any means saying you can't. But marriage to me is saying that you'll put forth that extra effort to make things work. It's about sharing everything, including a name. I know a lot of people are getting divorced... both my parents have been married and divorced twice. But they got married, at least the second time, for wrong reasons. I'm determined not to make their mistakes.
~C
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i can't even understand my ownself sometimes much less try to get stuck with someone who i probably won't understand either, yeah, marriage, my family thinks 22 or 23 is the right time, like there is some clock ticking and if i don't marry at that age, i'm over the hill, no ones gonna want me, and i'm gonna live alone for the rest of my life
YEAH right. If it was like that then 50, 60 year olds would not be getting married, and olfer generation people who hadn't married before would be living in their sole misery.
so, it's basically bull- parents just think that it's a burden to them if their child is not married wheras it is quite to the contrary
if i got my own money and car and place then what do they have to worry about?
but you gotta give them thanks because they worry (although it is not necessary)
"Pride is concerned with who is right. Humility is concerned with what is right."
http://www.progressiveu.org/231615-this-is-a-muslim-girls-plight
" "love em all,trust a few,and fear none"....thats wassup.one love. peace." mos def
Over the hill...watch out honey...Haha, your family is silly-in a great way. But good for you not giving in.
I respect what you are saying and understand, although i have to disagree with you. believe me i understand where you are coming from. i live in a family type enviroment where the only person that has ever been married is my grandmother. Not my mom or my ten aunts and uncles. (even through they all have kids.) still ,marriage is a beautiful thing. and quite frankly it is a tradition. like why do we have graduation, they can just give us our diploma and let that be all. but it would not be the same. why do we give our children our last name and not just a random name, they will still be our child. but still it would not be the same. if you are in love with someone and you know that you want to be with them for the rest of your life then just marry them. what is there to be afraid of.
You make a very good point. I am one of those girly-girls who wants a wedding, marriage & the whole nuclear family thing BUT I don't understand why people think they NEED to get married. Why get married just to be married? I also like the adoption idea - there will always be children who need parents!
It's like following the herd sometimes, women getting married & pregnant. Once one girl in a group is engaged, they all feel the need to have that label. Society is lame.
I am going through the marriage/ baby routine with the girls from high school. People started getting married at 19 and then by the time I was 21 (dating by man for three years) people started questioning if we were ever going to get married! We have been together longer then any other married couple and are know planning to get married since I finished school. Now girls are having babies and competing in that way. Its a horrible idea and I wonder why people compete and judge in this way!
If you don't want to have a baby, then tell your future husband that you don't want to have sex because you don't want to have a baby.
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i noticed that marraige is extremely important in asian cultures.
DISCLAIMER: I am not being rude. I'm stating my opinion. No personal attacks are meant. Please give some leniency on how you take my words. imagine me saying them with a smile. ^__^
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If a person doesn't want to get married that's alright.That's their decision.You don't need to get married to show your love for someone.So I understand what you are saying.
Please make your own choices because of what you feel inside about this issue. If things change for you later, they change but if they do not, it is still your choice. So many people make decisions based on what everyone else thinks. Stay strong and be your own person. Who knows what the future hold.
I agree with you
I'm sick of following my dreams, I'm going to hook up with them later and ask them where they are going!!
Do not feel pressured to do anything that you do not want to do. My parents have been together for 31 years in October. They never officially married but they do consider themselves as "married" without the paper. They went through hard times but stay committed. This could be because they had five kids. I do not feel that that being married would have made it any easier for them. I don't feel there is anything wrong with getting married for myself. I do plan on adopting kids and I am not sure I want any of my own biological children (this might cause problems with my in-laws). Their is nothing wrong with deciding how to live your life, but if you bring in children (even adopted ones) it will be hard for them if you leave their mom or dad.