Do you think that someone's negative thoughts or wishes, prayers, whatever you believe, can really affect the outcome of something. I wanted to get into Dartmouth so much, but I didn't. I am sad, but not suicidal sad. I just am disappointed with myself is all. What I can't get over is that my mom did not want me to get in. She pretends that she is sad, but I know better. She told me she doesn't want me to go so far away and would much rather me stay close to home. I know that she was hoping that I wouldn't get in so she could get her wish. I don't blame her for my rejetion, but I am angry at her just a little. Not so much for "causing me to get rejected," but for not accepting what I feel is best for me and wishing me the best. A part of me is really angry, and I don't want to end up one of those 45 year old failures who blames their mother/parents for all their problems, but I just can't get over how much she was unsupportive.
I just wish she was sincere in wanting me to go where I thought I would be happy. Now, I may go to a college that is not my first choice but is far away, just to get away from her. I don't want to be a bad person, but she just makes me so angry. I suppose I am being irrational right now. Maybe I will change my mind over sleep, who knows.
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