Reaching for the Stars: When does it become pathological?

What is success? How do you define it? Well, I suppose it varies depending on an individual’s ideology on success. In America, it is apparent in peoples day to day actions and talks, that success is based upon scholarly achievement, material wealth, power and prestige. If you are a young adult I am sure that your long overdue for a massage or a beer, whichever suits your taste, due to the tremendous pressure on you to succeed. The question we hear most growing up is: “What do you want to be when you grow up?” or “What do you plan on attending college for?” or maybe “You’ll never get into a good college with those grades!!!!” Ah, yes, the battle for social acceptance.

An article was posted on Alternet that talked about the struggle women go through to get into a good college. Although, the topic of discussion is about women, I think this applies to both genders. “According to the Federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 12.3 percent of women ages 18-24 report frequent mental distress.” I couldn’t help but to chuckle because most college students I know are always under stress, especially during finals. My personal experience is similar. I am a full-time student and a full-time mother of a 1-year-old son. Constantly, I am agonizing over my GPA, my passion to succeed and my desire to attend a great graduate school. I have stayed up all night studying for exams, doing research or writing papers. I volunteer, participate on committees, intern, and do independent research. I love school, I love to learn and I love to gain real-world experience. However, sometimes I become too overwhelmed, too stressed, and I am way to critical of myself. Last semester, a doctor suggested that I take anti-depressants because I was experiencing so much anxiety relating to school. The article pointed out that while good grades and participation in extracurricular activities are a crucial component towards success, you must still retain balance in your life.

Suicides among college students are gravely high, along with depression, anxiety, and eating disorders. College provides us the tools to succeed in the job market, but it also should provide students tools that educate about life management. What good is learning physics when you are contemplating suicide everyday?

While I am an advocate for education, I am worried that we place too much emphasis on our external achievements than our internal achievements. I do not know many people that have received awards for overcoming hardships or lending a helping hand to someone else. It seems as if our society downplays these virtues and focuses our attention on superficial things that do matter in the end.

The purpose of me writing this is to share my belief that while college is very important, it doesn’t define who you are. Nor does the car you drive, the town you live in, the degree’s on your wall, and the job you hold. Who we are is determined by a lot more than a degree from Harvard or Brown. Are we kind and loving people? Do we take a moment out of our day to hold the door open for someone or do we slam that door in their face? Are we thankful for all that we have? Do we choose to grow and learn, or do we stay dormant in our ignorance? The last thing a man thinks about on his death bed is his money and college degrees, he asks “Was I loved and did I love enough?”