Last night I had a dream which had what has been a recurring theme in my sleep land for the past couple of years. The dream is this: I am back in college, and I am so irresponsible, that I forget to go to class, and I forget when all my tests are. This inevitably leads to my grades starting to slip, and a terrible dejavu. I, about once every couple of months or so, wake up thankful that it is only a dream. But three to four years ago, what is now my nightmare, was a reality for me.
I went to an out-of-state college right out of high school. I was young, full of talent and good looks. I had everything paid for and taken care of. I don’t even actually remember doing any work to get into school. Sure, I wrote an essay or two and auditioned. But all the hard stuff, my parents handled it. I didn’t have to worry about money or anything at all. All I had to do was go to school, and do the work.
I, being young and foolish, didn’t see the incredible opportunity I had before me. I lost my drive and did exactly what I wake up in the middle of the night thinking about. I slacked off. I coasted through school, almost in a fog. I didn’t study, didn’t practice (guitar-music major), I skipped class, and missed my tests. Were it not for the hard lesson I learned, it would’ve been a complete waste of a whole year of my life. I came home after that year, and after deciding that college wasn’t for me at that point.
Now I have been home for three years. I can’t get and keep a decent job, I can’t move out, and basically nothing is happening for me in my situation. So I made the choice to go back to school, and I now have minimal help. My parents have decided that I blew my chance the first time, and that I can’t have any of their money to go back to school (and they’re right, I did blow it). And because my parents make too much money, I get nothing from the federal government which leaves me my only option of taking out loans. I could work for five to ten years and save up money to go to school, but that would require more patience than I have at this point. So I am now in a mad scramble to get money any way that I can to pay for it. How I’m paying for school, is totally in the hands of God at this point.
So my advice to anybody going to college for the first time, or maybe even your second time: don’t blow it! Stay the course. You have a tremendous opportunity in front of you. Don’t let your decisions now give you nightmares at night, many years from now. I have been blessed by God with immense talent, and a second chance at a college education and a career. And I refuse to let this one slip away from me.
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I thought I was reading one of Bush's speechs for a second there. Well, anyway, yeah you did blow it and yeah it is all your fault. I'm not even going to bother with encouragement because you don't deserve it in my opinion. There are a load of people who don't get the same opportunity you get on your first year of college, you had an opportunity that they didn't and you went and screwed it up effectively wasting everyone's time and money especially your own. My parents keep threatening to not pay for my college everytime I go against any opinion they have especially on matters of religion. I have to constantly appease them and if I don't get the grades they want this year (i.e. no C's) they will refuse giving me anymore money for college.
Oh, and why not take out a loan from a bank or apply for scholarships and financial aid?
Phoenixes are superb. They are also fictional beings..but that isn't the point!