so last year around this time I relized that going for an older guy was the new think.... ok so.. around Jan. I met this great guy at a place in my town called rev. jugheads.. its a christian pool hall.. well we started talking alot, after I begun to like him alot he told me his age.. 21 which is 6 years older than me.. OK so even though his age was old lol we still decided to date because although, he is 6 years older than me, we got along great.... My boyfriend and I have been together about 10 months.. No one agrees with it.. my parents love him.. my family loves him.. I love him... but I'm tired of the insults people make about it. what would you do?
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deja vu that's all.
...if I were you, but what about him?
He's 21 and going with a 15 year old?
Even if you are extremely mature for you age doesn't it seem that he is selling himself short by dating someone so young?
Shouldn't he be more interested in women his own age?
Something sounds fishy here.
In the state where I live it would be illegal for the two of you to have sex (not implying that you are).
I know this is hard to believe, but any 21 year old who dates a fifteen year old almost definetely has some kind of problems. Emotional issues or mommy issues or is scared of women his own age because he is still an emotional 15 year old. THe simple fact that you two get along so well indicates that he is emotionally immature.
Imagine yourself dating a 12 year old, half the age difference, but still preposterous, yes? I don't guarantee it can't work, but it probably won't. Maybe if you were 21 and he was 27 things would be a bit more even. There is a huge breadth of experience and growing to be covered between 15 and 21, and I don't think he did the growing, or that you can do without it.
Res ipsa loquitur.
memor mori, mahalo.
I agree. That big of an age difference isn't bad once you're both out of high school and into the real world, less so when you're both into your 20's and beyond. But there's a whole bunch of difference when you're young in age. I'm happy that you two are getting along so well, but you are still going to grow up, and he might not. So while you get along great now, once you're out of high school, you may not find him appealing anymore.
~C
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I don't think it's the difference in years so much as the difference in age groups and the maturity levels that comes with them. :) If that made any sense. >_<
"I feel that there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people."
-Van Gogh
The age difference is intimidating, however, if your parents love him and support it I would have faith that it could work. Just please be sure to be careful and look at the relationship with a level head. While dating may be okay the previous commenters also have a point. He could still mentally be in the same state you are.
Good luck.
This kind of thing is supposedly illegal (if you are having sex) in almost every state. Just so you know. ...My mom was called to jury duty on a case like this and it didn't matter if you both agree.. or are in love or any of that... under age 15 supposedly only can date legally 2 calendar years older to be legal in most states...If your mom and dad get mad at him and report it, he can be taken to jail and prosecuted. That's what happened in this case....JMA
My wife just turned 26, I am 43 (my father-in-law is 6 years older than me) My wife and i have 3 wonderful kids and are very happy.
Just to put things in perspective, I was in highschool the year my wife was born.
Now let me put something else in perspective, my wife was of legal age when we met.
You have a lot of life ahead of you and you are still young. I can't (or nor will I) make life choices for you.
Just don't miss out on the best years of you life whether they be with your friends that are your age or a great guy.
I know what you mean.
I have a liking for this guy who is 30 I am 18 is it ok for a relationship with an age gap like that to be supported. I personally don't really care if I genuinely like someone and they feel the same does it really matter, the only people who should mean anything to you is your family and close friends. But even if they don't approve it really is up to you both. Don't let the influence of others make your personal decisions. If you are both happy why stop, its hard these days to find someone who you are happy with (well thats what Im finding) and if you do, don't let it slip away
capttrips25 sounds like a perfect example. That is really awsome!
I know what you mean.
I have a liking for this guy who is 30 I am 18 is it ok for a relationship with an age gap like that to be supported. I personally don't really care if I genuinely like someone and they feel the same does it really matter, the only people who should mean anything to you is your family and close friends. But even if they don't approve it really is up to you both. Don't let the influence of others make your personal decisions. If you are both happy why stop, its hard these days to find someone who you are happy with (well thats what Im finding) and if you do, don't let it slip away
capttrips25 sounds like a perfect example. That is really awsome!
I think that people give that kind of relationship a double standard........its ok when they are older but not when the girl is still underage......i had that same experiece.....i was 15 and my bf was 19........you shouldnt have to put aside your feelings for what society thinks is right
Who cares what others think when it comes to age. If your happy and in love whether it be now or later you are still happy.
I have friends that are with older men some of them since they were barely legal. They are happy and have children with them. It shouldnt matter to anyone if it is completely consensual among both.
I have already seen many successful relationships among couples with a 15+ year difference between them. So follow your heart and forget what others say and think. Its not their life, its not their relationship. It's yours.
Wow...I can't say that there's any girl out there who hasn't been through this, or at least had a crush on "the older guy." Just be careful...don't get swept up in the pace of this relationship, or what he's probably got going on in his own life (career, drinking, etc).
You seem very mature for your age, and I'm sure this guy is just crazy about you. Just know (this from experience) that "what you want" can change on a daily basis when you're that age, and you may soon find yourself tired of (or overwhelmed by) the extreme differences that you guys have because of your ages.
Take care...seriously,
Allison
"Be the change you want to see in the world" ~Mahatma Gandhi
My sister is 16....and I'm not sure that she'd make it out alive after I was done with her.
21 year old's...are sick if they are screwing with 15 year olds.....
Yeah...it's only a few years...but....it's two different worlds...I promise.
"Sick" definatly isn't how I would describe them.
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"So stuff that in your pipe and smoke it!"
You're a sick weirdo if you think violence against a 15 yo is more moral than sexual attraction to a 15 yo. There is something way out of whack there, but the popularity of that kind of idiocy is a really good illustration of why our society is as fucking sick as it is.
The age difference is not a big deal. Historically, it was more common for older men to date and marry younger girls than for couples to be the same age. The key thing is, as some people have mentioned, that sex is illegal until you're 16, 17 or 18 (depends on the state). So learn your state laws and keep within them if you value your boyfriend's freedom. There are enough guys on the sex offender registry for making just one mistake. Other than that, enjoy yourselves and don't let anyone else's narrow-mindedness spoil your fun!
I'm 18, my boyfriend is 32. We've been together for a year and a half
Tell those people to shut up. It's pretty much all you can do. Be careful about the laws though. I know from personal experience (different relationship) that the guy can get in trouble even if your parents are ok with the relationship (complete BULLSHIT if you ask me).
I wish you the best of luck.
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"So stuff that in your pipe and smoke it!"
My friend Melissa is 16 and has a 24 year old boyfriend. they met at a narcotics anonymous meeting.. after getting off heroin 2weeks earlier.