My love can dwell silently within my being,
Held deep within my still, hushed heart.
A timid soul freezing to the brink of its extinguish, in solitude.
Love is exploding inside of my heart; the commotion is fierce.
A thin sheet of glass is my life, shot with a bullet.
The soul wishes to live! No Longer hiding from the world.
Forever this strange love shall roam the earth
Searching for another body for this one has expired and the blood has drained.
Soul shall travel hand in hand with Love and find gold!
I was asked to write a poem that personified intangible things and I wrote this, my teacher thought it was good but I would like to see what others think so feel free to comment.
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My question is this...what was your inspiration? How do you feel about the poem? And how do you explain your choices? Why the image of death and love? Care to elaborate?
Definitely: I was given the assignment in 10th grade to write a poem personifying intangible things so I chose the soul and love, both are things we can't touch and both are things we need. In the center of each one I put something that tied them to human qualities: a heart, life, and a body. I thought to make it so that the two would somehow experience I guess you could say a longing to be together and the only way was for them to break through their barrier by destroying those separations and find nirvana (gold). I hope that explains it a little more clearly, I'm not always very good at clearing things up, but thanks for the interest.
But no...I guess I wanted to see if you had felt that LOVE that you were personifying...And why gold (nirvana)...? I like it, do not get me wrong, but the most intiguing and STRONG poetry comes from personal experience. Fill me in? Love is painful, and wonderful, all wrapped up into the gifts of selflessness, if it is true...
Unfortunately I guess I can't tell you that yes I wrote this poem after this life changing love experience, it really was just a train ride on the way home from school one day listening to my iPod that made me think I can tie some of the things I care most about into my writing. It was really meant to be a poem about not letting self limitations keep us from expressing ourselves, allowing your passion for something connect with your soul and reach that absolute bliss. I appreciate that it can be viewed as a love poem because that's one way of doing that but it was more along the lines of passion to do something with your life.
I like what I think it represents
~ Life can be wonderful, if you let it.
i really liked line 5, the imagery was really good. i loved the poem but the last line threw me off. maybe re-word it? i wasnt sure what the gold meant...i think it would be a fantastic poem if the last line were done over again. other than that, i loved it. you write a lot like i do, and that makes me feel like i can relate and i think it makes the imagery stronger for me.