Innocence does not equal safety. It does not imply that everything will turn out fine nor does it means that it is okay to assume that forever lasts forever. The word innocent itself has often been linked to emancipation thanks to the superficial popularity of judge shows and courtroom dramas, but for me the word personifies a time in my life when I was free from judgment. It symbolizes the relationship I had with certain members of my family that I would give half of my heart just so they can understand what they meant to me. It appears like the older I get, the more I am able to see the entire image of a fractured portrait that nobody seems to even care enough to fix.
I finally left my childhood in Maryland around the age of 14. Each preceding summer in that state, I constructed memories out of midday cartoons, WWF wrestling, Sega Genesis, and family. My life and my family was great, especially my uncle. He was the strict, no nonsense uncle that put fear in the hearts of my cousin and me but we still admired and respected him deeply. From wrapping gifts in newspaper during Christmas to introducing me to one of my favorite singers, he gave me a lot and taught me much more. I don’t think he has even a clue to how much he means to me. But as always, times change and that once childhood mystique morphs into an unbridled reality, leaving very few memories unscathed.
Now we live across a chasm of family perceptions and misconceptions. However wrong or right they may be I still feel a loyalty to him that no one else seems to share. I feel my family judges him based on his situation as oppose to his character. They talk about him not for him, omitting his feelings and unfulfilled dreams and it hurts. It hurts to see someone you love withdraw from the family and its unbelievably excruciating seeing how the family doesn’t even realize they were the cause. At this point in my life I know I cannot alter how my family views my uncle and I don’t have the power to change his circumstances but I also know that he has done too much for me to judge him. Whether my family decides to accept him or not, I will always love him unconditionally for the man that he is and will never forget that innocent time of my life.
