I’ve never “casually dated” a guy before. Any guy I’ve gone out on a real date with has been my boyfriend. A lot of my friends are the same way – they see casual dating as slutty. It’s kind of funny, in my opinion, because none of my friends, or I, really have room to talk about the way other people act being slutty. But anyway, that’s how it’s thought of in my group of friends.
Also in the same category as casually dating is the not-quite official agreement known as “friends with benefits”. For those of you just tuning in to the teenage channel, “friends with benefits” are two friends who just decide to hook up, no strings attached – hypothetically. In reality, one or both of the partners tends to form some type of attachment with the other, beyond the friends barrier. How can he or she not? We as a society value our physical aspects – we share them with only those we deem worthy. Ultimately, someone realizes feelings have been created where before there were none. The intimacy spawns a feeling of trust and one or both partners want to make their relationship into something more. Often, however, the other person wants to continue the “friends with benefits” arrangement, leading to a dispute and possible loss of friendship because of the awkward situation.
The difference between casual dating and “friends with benefits” is that the casual dating usually involves the two people going out together and having a good time, without calling each other by the title of “boyfriend” and “girlfriend”. “Friends with benefits” meet up to hook up.
My opinion of the whole “friends with benefits” scene in regards to my life is that it’s okay to have, as long as neither of us are afraid to end amiably it if we realize that one has romantic feelings and the other doesn’t feel the same. Honestly, it’s no one’s choice to get into a “friends with benefits” thing but his or her own. I just prefer mine with boundries.
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HMMMM, i do not see how going out on a casual date when i was in high school made me a slut. I would consider friends with benefits slutty though.
How are you supposed to get to know someone better if not by going out on a date with them??? my husband and i dated before we got married, we did not consider us in a "relationship" until we dated for two months, and i eventually got bored and told him it was either me and only me or nothing at all. And he made the right decision and chose me he he .
but thats besides the point, i think your friends are begin a little judgmental by labeling casual dating as slutty, especially when not all girls open their legs for everyone they date.
in my opinion, it is not how many guys you sleep with, or date, it's how you carry yourself and act. you can got on 20 different dates but act like a perfect lady and have a nice record, and then go on two dates, with a guy you have been "together" with for a month, and then wind up having the scarlet letter pinned to you reputation,
even girls who have "boyfriends" have slutty reputations , some girls think that because they are in a relationship, they can act slutty ( making out in public groping each other, openly talking about sexual relations with ones partner).
so i guess it is not fair to pin the slut mark on girls who do not want a relationship and prefer to be pampered by different boys, because that does not mean they sleep with the guys that take them out.
yea.
sorry let me step off of my soap box lol.
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I don't really care about their opinions on fwb, because most of us have had one (I'm the only girl in my group who is open about the fact that I have kissed people who I wasn't dating - but I've had a reputation since 8th grade, so I'm kind of over it). People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, but they usually do.
"Dating", in my social group, is usually the name that's applied to two consensual kids having sex - therefore, when they think casual dating, they think casual sex. Silly kids and our hormones. I can't wait until they're shown differently. I've technically been out on a date with one boy while I was dating another - he lives right down the road from me, he works at a movie theater, we both wanted to see this one movie, I have no car, he took me and "paid" with his free passes (I got the popcorn). That was scandalous. My then-boyfriend knew, was ticked, and I told him to suck it up - if he was allowed to hang out with his co-worker after work, no checking up past, "Hey, you busy? Okay, talk to you later", I could go to the movies with this kid whose parents know mine, and who lives right down the road. Again, I've had a rep since middle school, so I'm pretty much over the whole "OMG slut thing"...
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