It has been going on for years. I'll make up my mind that I want something, my parents will make up their minds that they want something else for me, and I'll sacrifice what I want for their decisions just to keep them happy. That is, I used to do it to make them happy, now it seems like I go with their decisions to keep them at bay.
Take my major, for example. Sometime during middle school I became attracted to the many facets of film-production and determined that I wanted to be a director or a screenplay writer "when I grew up." The idea stuck until I began taking classes at a local junior college that didn’t offer RTVF (Radio, Television, and Film) as a major. After hours of arguing over an acceptable major that both my parents and I could live with, I changed my major to journalism. Feeling slightly rebellious, however, I began planning my transfer to a school where RTVF was offered, so that I could switch back when I left the junior college.
The past several years have been hell. When my parents realized I had absolutely no intention of sticking to journalism, they began breathing at my back again. They hunted for cheaper schools that didn’t offer the RTVF program, knowing that frugality was a weak point for me. Tired of the pressure, I agreed to complete a DOUBLE major that would incorporate both journalism and RTVF at my four-year school, despite knowing I would probably end up producing the morning news on some hole-in-the-wall television station.
Over the past few months, I have been growing increasingly resentful of my parents’ interference. I don’t want them to be running my life for me. Naturally, when I try to discuss with them that I need them to back off, they explain that they are only doing this because they love me and don’t want me to end up making the same mistakes they did.
I realize my parents want the best for me, but does that really give them the license to run my life? So, I most lovingly dedicate the following paragraphs to my parents and all other parents who live vicariously through the lives of their children.
Everyone makes mistakes. My parents have made and are making mistakes, and I have made mistakes and make mistakes every day of my life. It’s inevitable – we aren’t perfect people. It seems unreasonable, then, for parents to make decisions for their children in order to keep them from making mistakes. If parents constantly decide for their children, one day, despite wanting the best for them, they will make a mistake, and then their children must live with that mistake.
I love a great many people. I understand not wanting to see people hurt because of an untimely or unwise decision. I really do. But, as has already been noted, everyone will hurt because of such a decision at some point or another. It’s inevitable. Loving people and not wanting them to hurt does not give anyone the right to steer the life in the direction he or she believes it should be going. The true test of love is when someone stands by a person no matter what. When parents tell their children that they are running their lives because they love them, they are sending a message that they might not love them if they were anything else but what the parents want them to be.
I’m not slamming my parents. I think it is important to recognize that though they are older, have more experience, and want the best, they do not always encourage their children to gain experience through their mistakes nor do they always know what is the best for their children. Ultimately, I believe that individuals should be allowed to decide for themselves what they want to do without manipulative parental interference.
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