So here's some shit..this time im not going to write it in poem format
or pretty the shit up.. i just feel like writing...
im so in love..so fckin in love with someone who seems to not
notice me.. oh she notices me when she thinks im gone or she notices me
when she realize that she hasnt been noticing me... i put mother
fuckers on the back burner just so i can wait for her to be ready for
me...and im still fucking waiting... no amount of me liking some new
chick is going to make me give up on her...no potential in some other
chick is going to make me walk away from something i have been waiting
so long on...what if i decide to give up and then suddenly she is
ready? then we will both be at a loss because i will have wasted my
life...WAITING... and she wouldve wasted my time trying to be ready...
so instead of making that an an option i will continue to wait and i
will be here when she is ready... i have told her that i have given up
on her time and time again...said my fuck you's and leave me alone and
im through over and over... those words shouldnt even have significance
to her.. if i was through i wouldnt be typing this shit.. if i were
through she wouldnt be my fuckin heroin.. and here i am...addicted to
something that i can no longer have... because i really feel that this
single shit.. i feel like she likes it.. the attention she gets when
there isnt a pic of me on her page.. i feel like that shit is her
drug.. and me... what am i? her anti-drug...that shit that brings her
back to reality.. the thing that lets her know that she is committed or
said that she is committed and sometimes i feel like this anti-drug
that i have become is driving her crazy so i call myself dope now..
hoping that she wants to sniff this like she used to.. praying that one
day she will be addicted the way that i am to her, my heroin... but
something inside my pot thats boiling with me is the thought that she
doesnt want to be addicted...she doesnt want this dependency and i dont
blame her..but im not trying to be like every other drug... i promise
im not bad for her... she will go through occasions withdrawals, but it
can call be worth it if she just lets me flow through her veins.... i
dont wanna be your dope... i wanna be her dope...i want her to forever
feel like she's on a euphoric high when she takes doses of me.. but
days go by and i feel like, shit, she doesnt even wanna take a whiff
anymore...
im waiting... i swear im waiting...taking no ones advances
seriously.. not giving a fuck who i hurt or whose feelings i hurt if
they get caught up and think im the one for them... because i became
dope for her..i became dope so that she will be my only costumer... my
faithful costumer.. thats all i need is one costumer to keep my dope
being produced...and shes the only one i need... shit, i feel like a
stale bag of weed sitting in her glove compartment at times... i feel
like she quit smoking this shit, but if at anytime she just wants to
get away all she has to do is get in her car, drive away, open her
glove compartment and light me up... and ill ease all her pains and
cure all her worries...
like liquid dope, though, on a stove on high heat boiling
uncontrollably, i feel like she is going to leave my ass on the stove
until all that i am evaporates and my remnants are stuck to the bottom
of the pot... so fuck that... i dont wanna be liquid dope...
im an illegal narcotic, because there are many who want to partake
in the festivities of having me, but i let them know from the door that
they knock on that im no good. they will lose sleep over me wandering
why i cant be touched...and the moment that they stick their hand in my
bag they are getting sent to jail, figuratively speaking...
I'm Dope... for her... hopefully I can be Dope to her... she can
shoot me up with a needle, smoke me, sniff me, swallow me, whatever she
wants, as long as I'm her Dope...and the only dope she needs...the only
dope she wants..
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