This is a poem I wrote one night in January as I was contemplating what fields of work I wanted to get into. It's a little long, but I don't think that matters. At the time, I was scared that half the school year has gone by and I was going to Towson in the fall, and I'm still an undecided major.
When I was little I told my mom,
"When I grow up
I want to be a princess"
and I meant it then
Not today, it's impossible
When you're in America
with a middle class family.
That's not realistic
So I thought i'd be a veterinarian
I loved animals
I'd watch Animal Planet every now and then
Science would surprise me
I'd have A's and B's
but I'm in college
and Math is too hard
C's in Precalculus and College Algebra
I gave up the dream
of being a pet doctor
I thought of being a dessert baker once
I made cookies, cake, brownies, pie,
and decadent treats
But after my first job
at an ice cream shop
that dream burned
I can't make food
excruciatingly fast
for so many customers.
I couldn't keep up
I wondered if there was something slower
I wanted a career
that was fun
that was my style
that I could make enough money
to pay bills and feed me
Then I wanted to be a writer
perhaps write for a newspaper
or I'd write novels
So many stories in my mind
that I could create
but it would fail
It's too competitive
and the money would not be promising
may take years for recognition
There was also
the writers strike to consider
I can sing well, but where can I go from there?
It's hardest of all in a music major
My mom went through that torture
flunked music theory, she despised it
It's no different
Thought of being a fashion designer
I loved shopping,
I loved clothes and drawing
but it takes more than that
Saw 'Devil Wears Prada'
I know I would never survive
You have to sacrifice
so many things cared about
It's just like the writer
So what's left now? Teaching is low paying
Engineering is rough
and I don't want
to be a computer expert person
That's not my style
I see my friends
successful in their futures
but what about me?
Everyone has their life planned
I have no plan
Mom says the only thing I could do now
is live at home
and do nothing, be lazy
for the rest of my life
I don't want to.
I want that career
and a college degree
But what is it in?
What field of work?
I want to do things
I want to live life
I want to be everything
But what is everything? Maybe it's too complicated.
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That's a wonderful poem. And it sounds to me like you need more time to figure out what you want to do with your life.
I want to be a novelist, personally, but I know I need a back-up plan, because there isn't immediate money in writing, and it's all very uncertain and dependent upon how popular my novels end up, and such. So I'm getting myself into the liberal arts, where i've got a little of everything and I'm not narrowing down my options for my future.
And that's comin' at ya' from yer local redneck hippie.
I really enjoyed reading your poem, and couldn't help but imagine it as a spoken word piece! I think many students about to enter college (or still in college, or even have graduated) feel this way. Just remember that there is no hurry, even if it takes you a little longer to find what you are truly passionate about, it will be worth the extra time. I graduated from college 2 years ago and have finally found my life's calling (i think and hope!) in public health...and i was a psychobiology major. You never know what you may find.