That statement is absolutely false. But I can't tell you how many times people have accused me of that. It seems that in our liberal yet conservative days being bisexual is "popular" or "chosen".
For as long as I can remember I have been attracted to boys and girls. I never really spoke about liking girls because it was never asked. I was always asked about what boys did I like. But I do remember that I would kiss my girl friends and hold their hands. I longed to be close with them, but I was shy of them. For me being one of the boys was easier. In fact in fourth grade I told my group of boy friends that I was no longer a girl I was a boy. I was immediatly laughed at and put through a series of boy tests which I failed at.
Now I am not a dyke or a femme. I am just me. I dress how I want and I date who I want. I have dated girls and boys. I think both are nice and both have their faults. I am not attracted to everyone I see, in fact I'm very picky.
I came out to my first girlfriend in 8th grade. We had been attracted to each other since we met and immediatly began dating secretly. We both had cover ups of course. in 10th grade I started to come out even more. Most of my friends knew I was Bi, but if you were out of my circle than you didn't know. By my senior year I was out of the closet and proud. I didn't care what people thought.
That seemed to make people angry. Even people who were bi or gay. In our Bible Belt town many who were gay kept their lives a secret. The only ones who were out were people who were bi and only dated one person of the same sex before deciding that they were straight. I was immediatly pegged as one of these people. Even though I had dated a few girls I was now considered bi curious and only jumping on the bandwagon.
This hurt the most when my beautiful crush told me this. She was a closet case and was jealous that I was open. I forgive her, but only because I think I still love her.
I have been told by people that bisexuals don't exist. That we are just horney people who will do whomever we like. That isn't true at all. I have only had sex with one person ever. I get very offended that people think just because I like both genders that all I want is sex.
I don't have loose morals. I actually have firm ones that I stick to. I am not like my fellow college peers who are experimenting and testing their morals. I know who I am.
and am not bi. Who cares what people think, sweetie. Be you. That's who we like.
The reason why people state that bisexuality does not exist, due to the fact that in the end, you'll choose to be with one man or one woman. Unless, you're a polygamist. I'm pretty sure I might be bisexual for now as well because I might be attracted to boys and girls. However, I do not feel the need to label myself as such. I'll love whoever I want to whether it's a homosexual or heterosexual relationship. So, how would you have a bisexual relationship? Would that be a relationship between three people, which equals to polygamy? I'm not trying to pick on you. Just want to understand this concept better. =D
If you are attracted to both sex you are bi. No matter who you end up with. Bi people are not polygamists. We are just attracted to both men and women. I happen to primarily date men, but I acknowledge the fact that I do indeed like women as well.
"I am a Stephens Woman."
Yes, I understand the meaning of being bisexual. But if you're dating someone, you have a lover, and you married that person...then you still tell people I'm bisexual, that would be like a slap in the face to whoever your lover is. Don't you think so? If we're going out for example, and I tell people I'm bisexual. Wouldn't it hurt you knowing that your partner is still open to be with another sex when you're already married? That's why I'm saying most people say bisexuality does not exist. If you settle down with a man, then people would view you as straight because you ultimately choose to be with a man. Same thing applies when you settle down with a woman. In my eyes now you are bisexual. Your sexuality will change in other people's eyes when you settle down with that one person. Well, at least you acknowledge the other side of the coin. So, I'd say it's a good thing. =D
"Wouldn't it hurt you knowing that your partner is still open to be with another sex when you're already married?"
By that logic it's insulting to date anyone who professes a sexual orientation. For example if I, a woman, marry a man and call myself straight, according to you that would mean that I am still open to have sex with other men.
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It Changes
that doesn't even make sense. using your definition, people who are single are just asexual 'cause they don't happen to be with anyone.
and saying that it would hurt your partner implies that bisexual people are incapable of being faithful which is extremely, extremely insulting and condescending.
--stacie
I have been dating a man for over two years and if people ask me about my orientation I say proudly that I am Bisexual. He doesn't mind or worry. He's known that about me for years. He accepts me. I will always be bisexual. You can decide not to proclaim but if you are attracted to both sex than you will always be bisexual. It's not something you choose. You can fall in love and have a hetero relationship, but you will still be bisexual.
A gay man who has decided to marry a woman is still gay. He is just repressing those feelings.
"I am a Stephens Woman."
I read a really interesting article recently that was semi-related. Sort of a deeper look at the types of bisexuality that exist. What caught my eye was research showing that its possible for one person to have sexual attraction to gender A with no feelings of love, and be capable of "falling in love" with only gender B with no sexual attraction. It reminded me of a kid I know, an ex actually. But the whole thing was really interesting, taking a completely scientific look at explaining the gender relations.
~Reveolution and Restoration, in the Name of Christ our Lord
Lizz
i think at this age.. between 15 and twenty something ... its popular to be bi-sexual because we are all trying to figure out what is going on in our lives and in our heads and in our pants. i honestly think everyone should at least -TRY out - taking an interest in the opposite sex that you usually do.
sure!
I totally relate to your post. I hate it when people think a person who's bi is just desprate or doing it to be popular or whatever. I love people for who they are, not the physical aspects (although a good looking person's nice too, hee). I know a lot of people thought that I was just doing it for the attention when I first came out, but really, I was just madly in love with my best friend. We're still together and it's been over two years since we first got together.
Another thing, though. There are girls out there that are bi for the attention and are desprate. I can think of one from my old highschool right away. These people annoy the hell out of me, because they give us a bad name. Grrr, it drives me nuts.
Anyways, thanks for righting this. I really enjoyed it. :D