Honestly, I don't know where this blog is going. I have no real aim, but I need to let something out. I think it's about lying and how much it can mess up...everything. I know this from experience.
I need to stop lying. I discovered that I'm addicted to making people happy. I want nothing than for everyone to be happy... which really messes up everything else. I put everything that I love and have into jeopardy. I risked so much for something that wasn't that important. Well, not that it wasn't important, but it was for someone who, in the past, treated me horribly. And I was putting at risk my relationship with my boyfriend who treats me better than any person has ever treated me in my life (this is NOT an exaggeration.)
But anyway, back to the original topic of this. Lying. We all do it. We all complain about it too, though. Why do we do it? Is it because of the fear of rejection or hurting someone, or because of the fear of being wrong? When you lie, do you lie to cover something up or to hide something that you're ashamed of? Mine was both. Well really, all of the above. But I realize now that I have to stop.
If this person was meant to be in my life, they would be. I'm sorry for all this that I've caused. This isn't the place to say it, but I have to say it somewhere. I have to let go completely of this person and accept that they should not be in my life anymore. I always tell myself that life goes on, but I never actually... live by this. And I should. I have people that love and care about me in my life now, I don't need to backtrack to someone that treated me horribly and ruined my life.
You don't really need to comment, but you can if you want. I'd appreciate it. (:
Thanks.
