What prompts a partner, an individual to chose not to be involved in their child's life? Why are there so many single parents? Women? Men? Why is it okay for a man/women to raise the child(ren) alone, when the making process wasn't done alone? (we are not plants, we are not A sexual beings) Why them is it okay for an individual to walk alway from the responsibility of the child? Society should not just say that its not a good thing, society should truly, truly make a point of letting those people who aren't responsible know that such behavior is unacceptable.
How can we do this?? Well ladies and gentlemen..if you are getting to know someone, and that individual isn't handling their responsibility to their off-sprint financially and emotionally then you should say, I can't deal with you??? Who's to say it can't happen to you if you continue to entertain the relationship.
Please share your views and suggestions.
Thanks, Jessie ;-)
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I feel that mine are. I havent had to deal with his bs since 2003. My children are happy and very loved they were young (1 and 2) when he walked out. I did struggle at first but I never had to ask if this or that was okay no split weekends no 4 weeks out of the summer. No other female playing mommy. Just me one set of rules. His mom is wonderful and very active in their lives but she knows dont push the issue. He knows where I am and my number but makes no effort to their wellbeing. I am not sure I would want them aroud him and his new wife they have four children with only one older than mine. I dont think they would get the attention they require or understand why daddy has so many other children. I agree with you to a point. But for some of us it was a blessing the day they walked out even though we dont realize it til much much later.
My son will be 4 next month (god bless my baby). His father made the choice to not be involved since the support hearing, 2003. My son doesn't know him, to be exact,
SD had to be present when I applied for my son's passport and he said hi to my (our) son, my son grunted at him, "GRRRRR", "Mommy the stranger is talking to me" my boy says to me, I said I know baby, its okay to say hi to this stranger if you want to, this was about 8 months ago...Just yest, my son said to me, "mommy can I call Papi", I was in shock, and didn't know how to answer him...he's in Pre-K now and other kids in his class talk about their papi's / daddy's, or their father come to the school...its a hard position to be in...HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN TO A CHILD THAT THEIR FATHER IS IRRESPONSIBLE. THAT THERE FATHER (PARENT) DOES WANT TO BE APART OF THEIR LIVES. This is not a fair or good thing to have to discuss with a child, their innocense, their self-reflection, could be damaged, tarnished. ITS NOT FAIR TO THE CHILD.
This is a tough issue. I do not have a child yet, so I can only imagine the complications single parents have to go through. It would be nice if both parents can be responsible for the child. But this isn't possible for a lot of cases. It's better off being a single parent than being someone is doesn't give a damn about the baby's life. Wouldn't it be better to take care of the kid yourself rather than seeing your child being abused by your "partner"? It is not fair to the child. Maybe you should ask the child what they prefer to do. Let the kid see his dad again. Perhaps the guy changed into a better man and he can be a good father. Or the guy can be a jerk so your kid will know not to go near him again. Either way, there's no easy out. Of course, you should consider going out with someone new...someone you feel passionately for...someone who can be a great step-father and fills in the missing piece. He might not fit the missing piece totally...anything will do though if the new dad is a good guy right?
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I see this as a self reflection and an ISSUE that strike us as minorities...unfortunately this is a big problem among blacks & hispanics...statisticly we have a greater number of our children being brought up in single households...yet it strikes me harder that here I am an educated woman, self efficient, decent career, putting myself through school. Made a decision to have my child at 25yrs, decent age to have your first child and still ended up a statistic...SO NOW TELL ME....AS MINORITIES...CAN WE EVER REALLY COME APPART FROM THE STATISTICAL VIEWS SOCIETY HAS ON US....when our children are still looking to gangs, prison, etc for family they should have had from the very beginning....TELL ME...WHAT YOU THINK...
(I only hope that this blog will encourage any absent parent to become involved with their child)