Here is why I’m scared. I’m scared that I will never see my friends again, that we’ll “slowly drift apart” and just point blank forget. They continually tell me that it won’t happen, and that they’ll always be with me. So I worry less, and accept that if we do grow apart, that their memories will stay in my heart forever. The memory of their love will always be resting in my heart, and I can always unlock it whenever I need them.
Some of my friends will be closer by then others; but I still fret about them finding someone ‘better.’ I know that I don’t care if they make other friends; I mean I want them to make other friends; it’s a part of life, and I don’t want them to be lonely. But what if, they forget about me and all that we had? I mean the times together could become irrelevant to them and that they just forget. Things happen in life, and nothing stays the same, but what if all the effect I had on them just dissipates? I’m terrified of this new change. I mean I’ve had to make new friend, and lose friends a MILLION times. But I’m tired, of rebuilding something so precious to me and then tearing it down again. I mean we spend all this time building an amazing friendship, and it all goes to waste because we move, or change schools, or become different people entirely, we just grow a part. I can’t handle it anymore, and that’s why I’m terrified for my graduation and senior summer to end. I’ll be gone on a family vacation for four weeks!! That’s a month GONE from our last moments together.
I mean my friends technically aren’t leaving me, I’m leaving them; I ‘m the one who wants to leave state. But what if that dream comes true, and they fade away from my life. These girls have become like sisters to me, what was a group of 5 became 6 because they opened their hearts to me, they’re like a diamond in the ruff, I don’t know how I’ll be able to find a ‘clique’ like them for me in college. This is the most change my life has ever endeared. I’ve seen the world change and develop, and have even lost some friends due to it. But this time it’s me that has to change, and I don’t know if I’m ready for it. I don’t’ know if there’s any more strength left in me.
What Scares Me Most
By tezz - Posted on May 20th, 2008
Friends come and go... don't be afraid of it. I suppose I didn't have as much anxiety as you did, since I had already accepted that my friends and I were going to drift apart when I moved away, and I'm a pretty shy person, so it's difficult for me to make friends. But I do have a group of friends now that are great, and as I get ready to graduate from college, I'll have to move away from them as well (well, it's mostly them moving away... they're getting jobs or going to grad school out of the city and in the opposite direction from me). But that's ok... I've grown a lot because I've been friends with them.
What really scares me is the fact that I don't know how to date, and I'm afraid of ending up alone because I didn't know how to get out there and do something.
~C
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You're right, and i know you are, and my friends are too. i've seen so many friends come and go, but i don't know why, but this one seems so final...i guess.
Thanks, i'll try and be possitive. (i don't know how to date either, my last b/f was in kindergarden...yeah) Good luck!
Well i like look at my life like a book with many chapters. Currently, this chapter of my life is extremely long.
I mean, every day is a new page with new and different things, its something the human life gets to experience in a unique way.
I look forward to change, but that's just me...
Yeah kindergarten, no joke. He always told me we were getting married. :D
See I have the exact opposite problem. I'm kinda hoping to forget some of them. I mean there are some people I will really miss, mainly my ex-boyfriend Ali. But most of my "friends" have already grown apart from me and somewhat abandoned me so I don't really care. I know that I will make new friends and I know you too. Not that I'm telling you to forget your friends, I'm not, but you'll make new ones and hopefully they will be better than you can imagine.
See these ARE my NEW friends. I mean i just made them this year, and their amazing. I spent most of sophmore and junior year friendless...
Yeah I can understand b/c some of my closer friends came into my life this year, but I still just think there's only so much you can do so it's best not to dwell on it and think positively about how you're going to make new ones
I've lost touch with most of my high school friends, but not the ones who really mattered. My best friend from high school is coming to visit me this summer! And I graduated in the early '90's. You'll keep the ones you need to keep, and you'll look back fondly on the others...and it won't hurt. Don't be afraid.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
These are the friends that DO matter to me. They took me in when i needed them most, and had no where else to go. I'm glad to hear that your meeting your friend. It def. makes me feel better. I plan to look back on all the memories i have made during these fun times. And know that they can continue, in different ways. Now the hard part, to not lose that thought.
I keep in touch with my high school friends via Myspace. We've all moved on, made new friends, and started families, but we still keep in touch and remember the good times.
F*** Religion. Read more here:
http://www.progressiveu.org/020528-f-religion
With more comments like this, i'll soon be able to accept this new change. Thanks for the comment. :D
Webcams are pretty cool too. :D