I am a TA for a "Human Sexual Behavior" class. Today we did an exercise that brought up some very interesting notions about our culture. The class wrote every word they could think of that is used to describe two people having sex. The usual frenzy ensued and in the end we had a chalkboard full of pop-culture. I asked what the class first noticed about the list and after a few minutes they decided that every word was describing heterosexual sex (unless a modifier was used). When I asked them to think about "two people having sex" they thought about a man and woman having penile-vaginal intercourse. I wasn’t shocked.
Next we circled all of the words that we technical. "Coitus", "Intercourse", "Sex".
Next, we circled all of the words that were euphemistic. "Making Love", "Doing it", "Doing the nasty", etc. There were a few of them and many were very popular terms that are used openly in our society. We use such words because we have a ton of sexual discussion going on but no one is talking about sex. We need euphemisms to say it without having to.
Finally, we looked at the remainder of the words. About fifty words remained. Each was violent. "Slamming", "Beat", "Getting Laid", etc. It is very telling that our words for sex are often violent. Our most guarded word, the "F bomb" as some people euphemistically call it, is used for every part of speech, which suggests that we are fascinated by it, and it is a violent word.
In addition, all of the words on the board were about what a man does to a woman. There is no word for when a woman is an agent in sex. There are no terms that can be used exclusively to describe lesbian sex. Frye argues that if we don’t have words for it, we don’t have knowledge of it. If we don’t know what two women do to have sex, we don’t know how one woman has sex. I think that is frightening. Not only are our words clinical, avoidant, or violent, they don’t even pertain to women as agents.
Now, some people have argued that 'riding' is a good word. However, what is she riding? The term still focuses on the penis. What about words that give her agency and pleasure?
A professor suggested we use "enveloping". It sounds funny to me but I suppose it is all we have.
That's just plain weird. Maybe if there isn't a name for it people shouldn't be doing it? So when should kids be having sex? Read more from me at: http://www.progressiveu.org/212537-young-people-having-sex-when-how-and-what-we-should
thats saying lesbians shouldnt be having sex. Sounds a little closed-minded.
Bumping clams, licking clits, going down, eating out, having a night with BOB, some me time, rubbing one off/out, mashing muffs, polishing the pearl, coaxing the clam, cunnilingus, clitoris, g-spot, tribbing, butch, femme, dominatrix and french connection. All female/lesbian centered sex words and phrases, and that's just off the top of my head.
You are right though, popular culture doesn't acknowledge female pleasure much in its sex talk.
Res ipsa loquitur.
memor mori, mahalo.
Great words. Most of them are euphemistic or derogatory though. Also, some of them arent specifically lesbian unless they are modified. Cunnilingus, g-spot, dominatrix, going down, eating out. Most actually arent words implying female agency. They may be female centered but that doesnt mean the women are acting. In things like going down, (which is still also heterosexual to most people) means she is being acted on. I want words that describe a woman as sexual agent, not recipient. But still, great list of words.
To me, by saying the words aren't exclusive to homosexual relations as opposed to heterosexual relations it shows that you immediately associate them with heterosexual relations. A lot of those things to me would immediately make me think of relations between two females specifically. In fact, is seems to me the majority of sexual words can go either way, and there are very few that can specifically be applied to only heterosexual relations.
-Tim
"It costs nothing to be honest, loyal, and true." -Avett Bros.